Breakups: We’ve all been through them. The tears. The loneliness. The binge watching. And it seems like every time we’re starting to get over that jerk who broke our hearts — like, just when we’re ready to start paying attention to guys who aren’t named Ben or Jerry — he sends a message to feel out whether or not we can “talk,” and throws off our entire day.
You could just ignore it, and try to go about your business (i.e. updating your Tinder bio). Or, you could try out one of our fun ways to tell that a-hole “Boy, bye.” Because if you don’t shut it down, up next could be the dreaded “U up?” text.
1. Send him a link to Lemonade.
2. Text him the hand-waving emoji over and over again until he gets the picture.
3. Use pretty much any Michelle Obama gif, like this one:
4. Tell him you’ll have to check with your new boyfriend.
5. Send him a postcard from Why, Arizona. Emphasis on the “WHY?!?”
6. Tell him you can’t because you’re washing your hair tonight. And also every night, for the rest of your life.
7. Go full Magic 8 Ball and tell him “Outlook not good,” “Very doubtful,” and “My sources say ‘HELL no.'”
8. Ask if he was drafted into the NFL recently, because if he’s actually asking you that, clearly he’s had some head trauma.
9. Say, “Why stop there? Let’s get married!”
10. Whisper those three little words into his ear: “Cease and desist.”
How do you deal with an intrusive ex? Tweet us your tips (serious or snarky) @BritandCo.
(Photos via Getty)