In Amy Poehler’s Yes Please, she tells the story of her slightly disastrous speech at a major event (page 235 — p.s. host your own Yes Please book club) and then lists her incredible reactions to the situation. It suddenly dawned on me — Amy Poehler is the queen of awesome comebacks. With that in mind, here are my picks for the best Amy Poehler quotes to be used (at your own risk) as comebacks for rude people:
1. Call them out. When a producer told Poehler to relax after her routine was cut short, Poehler said, “This is the part where you apologize to me. You guys screwed up and this is where you make me feel better about it.” She added why: “I like to use this tactic on people. When someone is being rude, abusing their power, or not respecting you, just call them out in a really obvious way.”
2. Act genuinely shocked. In another instance, Poehler said, “I can’t understand why you are being rude because you are the concierge and this is the part of the evening where the concierge helps me.” She explained: “Act like they are an actor who has forgotten what part they are playing. It brings the attention back to them and gives you a minute to calm down so you don’t do something silly like burst into tears or break their stupid *** glasses.”
3. Again, remind them it’s them, not you. “If you do start crying in an argument and someone asks why, you can always say ‘I’m just crying because of how wrong you are.’”
4. Just sit there quietly. “Not talking can be hard for me. But I tried it.”
5. Use sugar. “Calling people sweetheart makes most people enraged.”
What is your go-to comeback? Share yours in the comment section below.
This post was originally posted on Levo League by Kathleen Karris.
(Photos via Ilya S. Savenok/Getty)