One of the best reasons to get married and stay married is that when stuff gets hard, having a partner in life there to help shoulder the load really helps. According to a recent study published in The New York Times, “benefits of marital friendship are most vivid during middle age, when people tend to experience a dip in life satisfaction” — yes, being married during your midlife crisis can actually lessen the blow of the, well, crisis. The tough question, however, is how do two people stay married through all the ups and downs?
There’s no right answer, but it helps a whole lot if you happen to be married to your best friend. The NYT also stated that in the same study conducted by the National Bureau of Economic research, researchers found that “those who consider their spouse or partner to be their best friend get about twice as much life satisfaction from marriage as others.”
So yes, having incredible chemistry is definitely a defining factor — and a post by Business Insider reveals that chemistry is far deeper than mere attraction. Rather, chemistry relies on how someone else “makes you feel.” And how someone makes you feel can often boil down to how compatible you and your partner truly are.
According to California-based couples counselor and Couple’s Institute founder Peter Pearson who spoke to Business Insider, compatibility is dependent on five types of questions that you can ask yourself and your S.O.
1. How similar are your values and the manner in which you view world?
2. Are you attracted to each other?
3. Do you have fun together, spontaneous or otherwise, even when you’re out of your comfort zone — like when you’re traveling?
4. Is there mutual respect for one another’s intelligence?
5. How do you solve problems together?
And perhaps the most important question Pearson wants you to ask yourself is when your partner is away on a trip and you find an article of clothing he/she has left behind, what is the feeling that clothing evokes? “Do you feel annoyed that you have to pick up the clutter, or does it bring up happy memories?” Pearson asks. Perhaps how you answer that question hold the key to your mutual happiness.
Will you be asking yourself and your partner these questions? Tell us in the comments below!
(h/t Business Insider, photos via Getty)