We all know what sexting is, whether we admit it or not. Actually partaking in the “sexy” form of texting is a whole other story, though. You might be a superstar sexter (rock on, girl) or you might find the sending (and maybe the sometimes unsolicited receiving?) of a sext intimidating, degrading, embarrassing… *the list goes on.* Wherever you fall on the pro/con sexting spectrum, there’s a new texting trend meant to empower women that you should get your fingers on. It’s called frexting. Plainly put, frexting is sexting with your friends. Think of it as pro-frexter Alana Massey explains in this Medium article: “[It’s] the extension of the very old idea that women dress up for each other. Part of showing off is about sharing yourself with your girlfriends.” Sharing those sexy pix with your BFF is caring (and empowering), y’all.
To make GFs worldwide feel comfortable frexting, Kelly Williams Brown, author of Adulting, recently provided a definition for the term. “Instead of sexting that random person (who might not appreciate it OR might share it with the world) send them to a close friend, who will tell you you look hot. Only send PG or PG-13 rated pics, obviously.” With frexting, you’re sending your friends what you typically shoot to that guy/girl you’re into. Here, the subtext is way different because your pals won’t respond with the sexual undertone like they would if it was a potential or current partner. They’ll likely respond with a “Girlll, you look FIERCE.” Right? If you’re nodding your head at home right now, you might already be engaging in the activity on iMessage or Snapchat. Without even realizing it.
Still confused? Just like with everything in life, there are guidelines to frexting. Brown explains the proper etiquette: “Respond with positive emojis, including but not limited to the little fire, a cat with hearts for eyes and clapping.” We’d also recommend sharing the love with a visual snap back so your lady friend doesn’t feel awkward. Also, shoot ’em the praise hands emoji too… because, duh.
Let’s take this discussion back to how frexting is empowering (well, that’s the idea anyway) with an IRL example. While writing this, I found out that our Editorial Director Lisa Raphael is a frequent frexter (even if my pitch about this new trend was the first time she heard this particular word.) “My best friend Katie and I are huge frexters — who knew?!” she divulged. “We communicate almost exclusively in Leslie Knope+Ann Perkins-isms, regularly texting love, heart emoji and compliments back and forth, coast-to-coast, always letting the other know we are thinking about them, specifically how effing awesome they are. I think it’s because we’ve seen each other go through A LOT and know that you can’t always depend on bosses, dudes etc to tell you how great you are. Why not just speak the unfiltered truth to the people who matter the most to you?!”
Lisa added, “She recently got married (to a lovely man who DOES regularly tell her how gorgeous she is, btw) and I heard Katie’s ability to lift up her girlfriends with her kind words brought up in everyone’s speech. All of the lucky ladies in Katie’s life thank her for always building them up, empowering them with encouragement and making them believe that they (we) are beautiful, sexy, smart, can-do-anything women. And, yup, I know that it’s partly because of this thing you kids are calling frexting because I’ve been on some really moving group frexts with her. And I’m happy to share the <3″
The power of a good frext, folks.
Will you be frexting? Let us know in the comments.