When you’re a #girlboss trying to build a lasting relationship, chances are your standards for significant others are pretty high (and rightfully so!). However, seeking out a high-achieving partner probably means dating someone as successful as or more successful than you — which can be tough if you’re naturally competitive or highly sensitive. When jealousy leads to getting super mad at your S.O., relationship expert and Chatline Connect author Carmel Jones recommends taking a step back and focusing on yourself.
“The easiest way to simultaneously support a significant other and avoid jealousy of their success is to stymie personal stagnation by recommitting yourself to your passions,” Carmel shares.
Generally, the envy you feel of your partner’s success — whether that success is academic, professional, financial or social — is rooted in feeling insecure in your own successes. Some people allow this jealousy to ferment within them, while others let the green monster immediately affect their relationship.
In either case, Carmel recommends focusing your attention inward. For example, when one of his confidants felt jealous of her boyfriend’s musical talents after she taught him to play piano, she turned the situation around by practicing more instruments on her own.
“It might sound simple,” Carmel says, “but it’s the truth: Avoiding jealousy of anyone, including your significant other, is best done by staying the course on your own personal growth and journey.”
After you’ve begun to develop in your own ways, you can turn your attention back to how to best support your partner in your relationship. You might attend a work event that recognizes your S.O.’s contributions or listen to a song they wrote; no matter what you do, being their biggest fan will fulfill you and strengthen the bond between you. After all, you two are a team, and their success is your success!
How do you cope with being jealous of your S.O.? Let us know @BritandCo!
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