First, there’s the honeymoon phase in a relationship. And sometimes, there’s even an *actual* honeymoon. And while both events are equally romantic and amazing, there’s a lot of in-between that can spell trouble for long-term couples wanting to keep the spark and excitement of their love alive. If you’ve been with your S.O. for a long time, couples therapist Wendy Brown, author of Why Love Succeeds or Fails, says that the best way to kindle the fire is to date your partner. If these celeb couples are doing it, so can you!
“If someone thrives on love that brings out wild and crazy passion, then any reduction in sex, drama and chaos is going to feel like life will soon be over,” Dr. Brown said. “However, another person might prefer to have his or her feet firmly on the ground so he or she can enjoy the heart-warming glow of love.”
While the beginning of a relationship generally entails tons of physical and emotional intimacy, it’s practically inevitable that the initial intensity will wear off over time, says Brown. For novelty seekers, this phenomenon can be pretty scary. “There are people who dread feeling as though the spark, the excitement and the thrill are waning, leaving them with a lesser life,” Dr. Brown says.
For those of you who are attached to the honeymoon phase, fear not! Dr. Brown has a twofold remedy for your relationship routine:
1. Bring back aspects of your relationship that made you fall for your S.O. in the first place. “If, for example, someone wants to be uplifted and celebratory as part of their regular lives, then they need to set up experiences that take them into vacation mode, like going to the beach or hiking in the mountains,” she said.
2. Get back to basics of what your relationship is really about. Dr. Brown encourages couples to draw on what makes them feel close. Doing things like drinking coffee together in the morning, reading the same book or establishing a romantic meeting spot can help realign the romance that might have faded. “It’s really important for couples to remember what brought them together in the first place and maintain activities and habits that reinforce the bond between them,” Dr. Brown said. “It’s all about the feeling.”
How do you keep the honeymoon stage alive? Let us know @BritandCo!
(Photos via Getty)