Nostalgia Alert: The American Girl Action Movie You Never Knew You Needed
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Nostalgia Alert: The American Girl Action Movie You Never Knew You Needed

We miss the ’90s a lot. Food. Fashion. Toys. A major toy trend from our playground days is American Girl Dolls, a big deal in a lot of our childhoods. We’d spend months pining over them, mournfully flipping through that big catalog dreaming of the kind of fun we would have if our moms would fork over the 200 or so bucks needed to get a doll and some sweet outfits (side note: remember when $200 felt like an unfathomable fortune?!). And when we got our dolls (mine with a stern “keep her OUT of the damn pool!” warning from my Nana) we spent hours and hours playing with them and reading their stories.

In all the scenarios we played with them — colonial times, the Great Depression, WWII — I think it’s pretty safe to say we never imagined our dolls as bad ass, butt-kicking machines. This Funny Or Die video proves that we probably should have.

American Girl Dolls: The Action Movie with Anna Chlumsky from Funny Or Die

Funny or Die usually cracks us up (we still get work time giggles wondering how Pearl the Landlord grew up) but this video takes it to the next level. It shows our favorite girls sparring together getting ready to defeat their ultimate nemesis Barbie. In one memorable scene, Kirsten (played by Veep/My Girl’s Anna Chlumsky) goads Kit by yelling: “You hit like a girl, I need you to hit like an AMERICAN GIRL!” There are explosions, guns and a great awkward moment when Addy reminds everyone that she has the worst back story ever.

Can’t wait for the inevitable action mash up of Skydancers or similar.

Which American Girl doll did you have and how do you think she’d stack up in a fight? Tell us in the comments and DO NOT put them in the pool!

(Photo via Tim Boyle/Getty)