It’s no surprise that having things in common with someone makes your relationship better. Whether it’s a mutual love for funny women in comedy, a love of travel photography or a religious conviction that brunch is the best meal on the planet, shared interests of all kinds can create and enhance relationships. Relationship expert and author Ty Tashiro says that this phenomenon is both simple and complex: The concept itself is easy to understand, but the reasons why people opt for people like themselves have a lot more to do with human nature than you might think.
“Birds of a feather absolutely flock together,” Tashiro said. “Shared interests are a strong predictor of who you’re attracted to because the more you have in common with someone, the more points of attraction exist between you.”
Take your taste in music, for example. Although it seems like a surface-level trait, it can actually bond a couple through shared experiences and mutual emotions. Since music has become so social, heading to a music festival with your boo allows you to spend time together growing individually and as a couple. Music is also highly emotional and meaningful, so sharing a love for Mumford and Sons can actually add depth to your relationship through the music itself.
This theory can work with any hobby. If you and your S.O. like hunting, swing dancing, or visiting art museums — or if you enjoy pretty much anything that has an experiential component to it, for that matter — that thing becomes something that you can do together.
One intangible commonality that fits into the shared interest category is a similar sense of humor, Tashiro says. For heterosexual women, humor actually ranks among the top five most sought-after traits in a partner. Tashiro predicts that this is because humor is a proxy for so many other characteristics, like intelligence and novelty-seeking.
“If someone appreciates your style of humor, you feel understood,” he said. “Every time you tell a joke, you put yourself out there. And when someone gets it, it creates a unique kind of love.”
What quirky things do you and your S.O. have in common? Tweet us @BritandCo and let us know!
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