Ah, the dreaded #friendzone. There’s nothing worse than having a crush (perhaps of the office variety?) on someone that just doesn’t dig you back… except, of course, when said crush happens to be on someone you’re actually friends with. Then you’re really in for it. Yikes!
But what can you do? Aside from quickly becoming THAT girl or guy (you know, the one that just can’t seem to take a hint) or being the victim in a bad ghosting, or worse, benching sesh, not a whole lot, right?
Wrong. At least according to Psychology Today, who recently published a new two-part study with some surprising facts on how to break down the walls of the friendzone once and for all, and it’s something you’re likely to already be doing: daydreaming. According to the study, those in so-called friendzone situations who tended to imagine how it would be to have the other person reciprocate their feelings began to instigate a curious trend called a “self-fulfilling prophecy.”
According to the first part of the study, which studied 127 platonic, opposite-sex college students, those with a romantic interest in their friend were likely to overestimate the requital of their affections, falsely believing that their friend was just as interested as they were in taking things to the next level.
Confidence played a big role here: Those that truly believed “they were a catch” — that is, folks who knew that they were desirable dates — were far more likely to believe their feelings were requited, regardless of the other party’s actual interest level.
By imagining the other person’s feelings mirrored their own, these same participants were also more likely to behave in a manner they may not otherwise behave, by flirting or being more open and romantically forward.
Interestingly enough, in the second part of the study, which analyzed 102 platonic friend pairs once a week for one month, those being subject to the romantic forwardness of their friends were far more likely to develop an attraction to them over time: but only if they perceived their friend to be a good catch as well.
Huh! We certainly weren’t expecting that. Guess that whole confidence thing really works after all?
While we certainly wouldn’t recommend camping outside your crushes’ window stalker-style or anything, the study’s findings suggest you’re NOT crazy to belt out T-Swift’s “You Belong With Me” on occasion, or even to make a (more subtle!) move. You just may get what you want.
Do these findings give you hope? Let us know over @BritandCo!
(h/t Elite Daily, photos via Getty)