It happens to the best of us. You went from a tabloid-reading, in-the-know type of girl to being all about baby. Gone are the days when you’d text your BFF, head out for an impromptu cocktail, and chat the night away about actual grown-up things. Sure, you’ve formed strong bonds with your fellow new-mom friends, but you still have all those other “no kids, no way” friends too. Before you let relationships slide because one of you has a kiddo and the other doesn’t, take a look at these tips for staying close to your friends AB (that’s After Baby).
1. Nix the baby talk. Your childless BFF does not want to hear about your baby losing her belly button, the various colors of poop you see on a daily basis, or why you just can’t deal with cloth diapers. She just doesn’t care — about the random baby stuff, that is. She cares about you, and she wants to spend time with you. Tell her that the baby’s doing well, and then move on to a non-child-related topic. It’s totally okay if you need to do a little googling beforehand to come up with something current to talk about.
2. Try “talking” activities. So, you need to talk to your BFF. And you understand that it shouldn’t be all about babies. Resist the urge to call her up and ask her to go to a movie. Yes, sitting in the dark, eating popcorn, and being blissfully unaware of the meltdown that’s possibly going on at home sounds delightful, but you can’t exactly talk to your friend if you’re on silent mode. Choose an activity that encourages talking. That means getting rid of as many outside distractions as possible. Head over to your friend’s house for dinner in, get coffee together, or grab a cocktail in a quiet spot.
3. Set up regular “dates.” You schedule a date night with your honey to keep the romance going — use the same technique to keep your friendships fresh too. Choose a day and time that works for both of you every week, two weeks, or month. Put the dates into your calendar and commit to keeping them.
4. Trust your S.O. It may feel like it, but you are not the only person on this planet who can care for your baby. Yes, you do a darn good job at being a mommy, but your significant other (or mother, sister, other family member, best mom friend) can also help out with caregiving. If you spend your entire night out with the girls worrying about your baby, you’re wasting time. Plus, your non-mama besties may feel alienated if you’re constantly checking for emergency texts and ignoring them.
5. Invite everyone over. Putting a wall up between your childless friends and your child-filled environment won’t do much to keep your relationships going. It’s tempting to avoid your place when making plans with your child-free BFFs. After all, it’s baby central. But it’s best to let you friends in — all of your friends. Make sure you have someone else there to take care of baby, and invite your friends over for a kinda-sorta meet-the-baby brunch. Your friends can say hello to your little one, and then move on to mimosas with you.
6. Text, and often. Ah, the wonders of modern technology. You have the ability to keep in touch with your friends from anywhere, at any time. This includes after the midnight feeding and before the 6am one. Having a quick conversation or sending a teeny tiny little text (even if it’s just a few emoticons) is a simple way to stay in touch. And you can do it every day!
7. Have a family dinner. We’re not talking about a dinner with your actual family. Instead, have a dinner with your friend family. Not only will this bring you all together, but it will give you a chance to take a night off every so often.
How do you stay close to your childless friends? Share your answer and tweet us @BritandCo!
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