The one big thing we learned while scouring the Internet for V-Day underoos for our dudes? When it comes to the Y chromosome, it’s better to go silly rather than sexy. So, for your viewing pleasure, we’ve rustled up non-blush-inducing undergarments for the guy whose underwear you look at on a regular basis.

1. Nachos Boxer Briefs ($18): Apparently, underwear designers believe that men want to wear food all over their midsections. Fair enough.

2. Kitty Birthday ($18): A cat, wearing a sweater… blowing out a birthday candle… on your partner’s crotch. This needs to happen.

3. Skunk Love ($9): If your dude thinks love stinks (in the Chanel No. 5 way, of course) then it’s a pair of Pepé-Le-Pew-approved undies for him.

4. Insect Boxer Briefs ($6): There was something about these boxer briefs that caught our eye. Although, your dude might not be too keen on having creepy crawling things running rampant on his back side.

5. Hearts and Arrows ($19): These are so adorable and so perfect for Valentine’s Day. If you want to make them an extra special gifty, get them monogrammed for $10 extra.

6. Jean Short Boxer Briefs ($18): Got a never nude on your hands? We’ve found a comfier alternative to jorts.

7. Pink Donut Boxers ($6): George Costanza once had a great dream: To combine eating with lovemaking. While you might not let your partner bring donuts to bed, a pair of pink donut-printed drawers is more than acceptable.

8. Stars On His Thighs ($18): Whether he puts a twinkle in your eye, he’s crazy patriotic, or you just want him to know he’s the star of your V-day show, these shorts are totally stellar.

9. Squirreling Away ($9): You better believe he’s going to go totally nuts about these shorts.

10. Lady Lazer Unicorn ($18): The only thing that could make these any cooler is if David Bowie was riding the unicorn and had matching lasers beaming out of his eyes as well.

11. Aztec Boxer Briefs ($3): This is the closest you’ll get to a pair of Pendleton-inspired underwear and for a dollar amount that would probably not even cover the tax on a real pair of Pendleton underwear.

12. Blanket Trunk ($12): And for a more toned down version of the aforementioned option, may we present… the Blanket Trunk.

13. Food Boxers ($13): And one more hunger-inducing selection. Hey, if it makes him happy, why not?

Will you be gifting boxers or briefs this Valentine’s Day? Let us know in the comments below!