The fluff and social consciousness never ends at the Calabasas mansions on Keeping Up With the Kardashians as this week finds our intrepid entrepreneurs struggling to defend their lives and their sanity. Kendall, who has taken to armoring herself in see-through shirts, must deal with the omnipresence of stalkers while Kim, who’s on slow-drip holiday cheer delivery duty, faces her greatest challenge yet this season: a yappy dog. The older generations are not immune from domestic turmoil as Kris and MJ butt heads over kitchen appliances as they both prepare to be grandmother and great-grandmother nine times over. What’s a super-rich family to do?
Kendall tells Khloé that she’s worried about her personal safety owing to the constant stream of stalkers outside her home. Khloé, citing the family’s issues with robbery over the past year, suggests that all of the adults in the family should know how to use a gun to protect themselves. When Kim gets in the on the conversation, she expresses that meeting with family members of victims of gun violence has led her to not want guns around herself or her children. When Khloé mentions that Kim might have had to use a gun during her robbery in Paris, Kim rightly mentions that she was outnumbered and that a gun wouldn’t have made her safer. Yes, Kimberly, be that voice of reason!
Kendall and Khloé still decide to go to a gun range to familiarize themselves with safe gun use. Khloé takes to it like a hitman while Kendall hesitantly shoots targets. The sisters feel confident after their shooting range experience but still give Everytown For Gun Safety a ring to ask questions about gun ownership. They report back to Kim that the organization informed them that owning guns makes it five times more likely that gun violence will occur in a home and that accidents have claimed the lives of hundreds of children this year. The sisters all agree that they should leave the guns to their security detail. Man, I learn so much about the world from the Kardashians.
In equally important news, Kim and Kourtney adopt Pomeranians. Pomeranians are such weird little puffballs that are cute if you’re, like, two, but since these dogs are technically for their kids, I suppose it’s okay. By luck of the draw, Kim gets Sushi, the yappiest of the two dogs. Instead of hiring an excellent trainer like a normal rich person, Kim decides to switch the dogs at a playdate and hope that Kourtney doesn’t notice. Of course, she immediately notices and takes her dog back because this is the silliest form of deception that Kim has yet employed this season. Kim finally breaks down and brings Cesar Milan over, and I am immediately starstruck as I remember so many single nights alone with a bottle of wine crying during episodes of Dog Whisperer. Cesar works his magic, and annoying furball Sushi is already on the way to being a Very. Good. Dog.
Sushi’s puppy ways can be fixed with discipline, but try teaching an old momager new tricks. Kris has finally convinced her mother, MJ, to move from San Diego to Calabasas, and has bought MJ a house. Kris has spent a lot of time decorating and furnishing the house, and while MJ is grateful, she of course wants to make the house her own, much to Kris the organizer’s horror. Kris brings MJ a KitchenAid stand mixer, but MJ has no use for the elegant kitchen must-have and puts it in a closet in her bathroom. When MJ complains to Kourtney that Kris won’t let her make the house her own, Kris comes and takes the mixer away, allowing her mother to put as many cookie jars and teapots on her counter as she sees fit. No MVPs this week. These women are all learning so much together.
(Photos via E! + Getty)