Keeping Up With the Kardashians continued its emotionally charged Season (unlucky) 13 with yet more trauma and drama for Kim, still reeling from her Paris robbery. While Kanye’s breakdown and Kim’s struggle to function drive the episode, we see most of the action through Khloé’s eyes as she asserts her position as the most stable Kardashian. Once Kim receives news of Kanye’s deteriorating mental health and tour cancellation, she opts out of The Angel Ball in New York honoring her father. Kris, Kourtney, and Khloé attend with the latter stunning in a sheer glitter bodysuit that makes her look like a life-giving tree. If I ever need to honor my father’s memory while standing as a strong foundation for my sisters, I’ll likely wear the same thing.
As Kim struggles to regain her footing and Kourtney continues to be ambivalent about her relationship with Scott, Khloé splits her time between Cleveland and Los Angeles, flawlessly fulfilling her personal and professional commitments. Whether helping Tristan with a turkey drive or shooting a commercial for Protein World, she is both body and mental health goals, having put all of her Lamar drama from the previous year behind her. She is that strong, tall glitter tree.
Even a little conflict with her best friend Malika is no cause for her to break a sweat. Malika, having just finished filming fellow E! show Famously Single, has started dating Ronnie Magro of Jersey Shore fame. While Khloé shades the coupling (“Maybe she’s embarrassed that she’s dating Ronnie from the Jersey Shore. ‘Cause I would be.”), she dutifully tries to keep up with Malika, who won’t return her phone calls. To recap, Khloé, who is dating a Cleveland Cavalier, giving away Thanksgiving turkeys, representing a lucrative weight loss brand, and standing strong for her traumatized sister can’t get a return call from someone too busy enjoying Sammi Sweetheart’s sloppy seconds. Get it together, Malika.
Over on the Jenner side of the family, Kris tells Kendall and Kylie that their clothing collection will be reviewed by Nicole Phelps of Vogue. Kendall worries that a negative reception will jeopardize her fashion career while Kylie remains cool and collected and intently focused on Snapchat filters. Later, Kendall and Kylie take Nicole through the line as Phelps looks stone faced at clothes described as “super cool, comfortable, [and] simple.” Ratcheting up the suspense, Phelps asks to see the previous season to witness their purported evolution.
Kendall, convinced that Vogue will trash her line, goes to a photoshoot for will.I.am’s headphones, Buttons, which, on the scale of celebrity headphones, are certainly better than Lil Wayne’s crappy little earbuds but leave you longing for Lady GaGa’s HeartBeats. Kris shows up to let Kendall know that Nicole has given Kendall and Kylie’s line a positive review for Vogue. We all breathe a collective sigh of relief as someone in the family finally gets good news.
Kim, who has mostly been seen just getting by and looking sedated, ends the episode by having Chinese food with Malika, who, thankfully, appears to be on the outs with juicehead Ronnie. Shortly after declaring that she’s done with having children but would be open to surrogacy, she opens up a fortune cookie, which says, “Your troubles will soon cease and good fortune will smile upon you.” For the sake of our collective sanity, eat that cookie, Kimberly.
Do you think Kim needs to eat that cookie, stat? Tweet us your thoughts @britandco!
(Photos via E! + Getty)