Have you ever read a Lululemon bag ? I have. It says that salt and butter equal early death, when in fact, I might die of heartbreak if I nixed them from my diet. But some of Lululemon鈥檚 manifestos are more actionable, so with February more than halfway over still not a single resolution made, I decided to try a few for a week. Scroll on to see how it went!

Monday

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No, Lululemon, you listen to me: Use commas, please. But seriously, sometimes when people are talking to me I either a) worry that I don鈥檛 look like I鈥檓 paying attention, or b) am actually not paying attention because I鈥檓 thinking about how to respond. So the next time a friend vents to me about a stressful situation, I focus on seeing it from her perspective, rather than judging her from mine. And instead of worrying about how to solve her problem, I focus on trying to make her feel understood. I can鈥檛 stop the flood of thoughts about all the things I want to say, but I can keep redirecting my attention back to her and out of my own head. It鈥檚 kind of like meditating, but with 鈥渕m-hmm鈥 instead of 鈥渙m.鈥

Tuesday

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I鈥檓 not sure what stale water is, so I assume that what comes out of my tap constitutes fresh. I drink six small Klean Kanteens (that鈥檚 108 ounces), plus a thermos of coffee rather than as much as I can, because your blood can actually become dangerously diluted if you drink too much water. If you鈥檙e wondering how much you should drink, the answer is a frustrating 鈥渋t depends鈥︹ on how much you weigh and exercise, mostly. The gauge I go by? My pee looks like lemonade rather than hard cider. I wish I could say I ate less or that my skin was glowing, but really, I just took a lot of bathroom breaks.

Wednesday

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I imagine outlandish scenarios way too often: dropping a heavy dumbbell on my face during chest presses, being mauled by the coyotes that live in the cemetery by my house, getting locked in a sauna, etc. For some reason, the best-case scenario 鈥 dying of natural causes, painlessly, surrounded by my loved ones 鈥 makes me way more freaked out. But it also helps me start seeing things in a new light. I try a combo of doing more of whatever brings me joy, and finding the joy in the stuff I can鈥檛 avoid (work, cleaning and now thoughts of my eventual demise), so that when I鈥檓 on my deathbed, I don鈥檛 regret spending my life waiting for the fun to start.

Thursday

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Which is what, exactly? According to the National Institutes of Health, some experts advise spending 30 minutes in the sun between 10am and 3pm at least twice a week for sufficient vitamin D synthesis. Too bad I live in Portland, Oregon, where it鈥檚 been raining almost every day for over a month. This one will have to wait for spring.

Friday

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鈥淭hings can and will work out鈥 was my motto for a long time. I stole it from an anxiety and phobia workbook, which should tell you something about my propensity to focus on the negative. I fall back on it when my husband鈥檚 truck disappears. And it鈥檚 true: It turns out it was towed for blocking someone鈥檚 driveway, not stolen. I don鈥檛 believe that thinking good thoughts makes good things happen, but I am convinced that most molehills don鈥檛 become mountains, and that even the mountains are scalable.

Saturday

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Instead of listening to NPR as I make dinner, like I usually do, I sing along to 鈥90s R+B. Blackstreet and Destiny鈥檚 Child make chopping broccoli seem more fun, and they鈥檙e easy to dance to. And I already floss every night. And let鈥檚 be real: I鈥檓 not going to embark on a long journey without considerable advance planning. However, in the next few months, I鈥檓 headed to New York City, Macau and a working ranch in Northern California. Studies show that anticipating a vacation boosts your mood, so I add all three destinations to the Weather Channel app on my iPhone and start fantasizing about what it鈥檒l feel like to be in snow and sunshine 鈥 anything but rain.

Sunday

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Maybe it鈥檚 because I left out some of the more inane ones, but I think there鈥檚 something for everyone on the Lululemon bag (unlike the clothing, which goes up to only a very small size 12). See for yourself here 鈥 just promise you won鈥檛 pick the one about having children without putting a lot of thought into it first.

What鈥檚 your favorite phrase on the Lululemon bag? Tweet us @BritandCo and let us know!