This just in: There’s a 50 percent chance of rain with rays in the afternoon and possible blustery winds in the evening… basically, that tells us nothing. We just want to know if it’s raining, snowing, blowing, or lovely out right now. Enter Authentic Weather.

Developed by Spotify product designer Tobias van Schneider, it’s a sort of jab at serious weather apps and for people who “just want to know the f*$@ing weather.” Forget percentages and hourly reports. Instead, you’ll get a messages like “just f*$@ing grey” or “freezing cold like a f*$@ing fridge.” Kind of like how you would deliver the weather report to your bud.

And it’s not all cynicism. Sunny days come complete with rose-color glasses in the form of the message, “F*$@ing love is in the air.” Doesn’t it just warm your heart?

For the curious and detail oriented, go ahead and put that thumb and middle finger to good use. A simple pinching action reveals the exact temperature. You can even see tomorrow’s freaking forecast and the day after that. But the predictions end there, because “everything after that is whatever.”

Are you going to get real with your weather reports? Let us know in the comments below!