Introducing #DropTheFilter: A Chat About Keeping It Real On Social Media—& IRL

So much of motherhood revolves around the sacrifice moms make for their children, but it's okay to take care of yourself too!

You are doing an amazing job mom.

Let your love for your kids help get you through tough days.

You can still enjoy being a mom even when you experience bad days.

Sometimes becoming a mother makes you realize you're capable of more than you thought.

This is one of the best mom quotes we've discovered!

Even though other moms may criticize each other, you don't have to let that dictate how you feel about raising your kids.

Children have a way of bringing out the best in your heart.

Whatever you're teaching your kids will stick with them even when it seems like they're not listening.

You're doing great mama!

We have one word to say about this — true!

Mom quotes aren't always serious; similar to motherhood.

You may not feel like you're on top of the world everyday, but you're doing something great by being active in your kids' lives.

You may be a mother, but you're not just a mother.

Leave your need to be perfect behind. Your kids need your effort and love more than that.

Theres a reason why moms are often referred to as 'mama bears.'

You may think being a mother is your greatest role to date, but making sure you're not stretched thing is just as important!

This sounds about right to us!

Showing your kids that it's okay to be independent and dance to the beat of their own drums has a lasting impacting.

Give yourself a break for trying to do everything at the same time. You're only one person mama.

Our Favorite Mom Quotes To Encourage You

1. "I want them to see a mother who loves them dearly, who invests in them, but who also invests in herself. It's just as much about letting them know as young women that it is okay to put yourself a little higher on your priority list." — Michelle Obama
2. "I see you, mom. I see what you are doing for these kids and how you keep them together. I give you respect, because nobody is going to give you praise for doing what Black women have done forever, raising kids who are not their own." — Gabrielle Union
3. "Family is at the root of everything that I do and it's also at the root of everything that I create." — Blake Lively
4. "I'm having more fun being a mum than I've ever had. Everything about it is interesting and exciting and inspiring to me. Even the tough days — there's something delightful about them." — Rachel McAdams
5. "Something cracked open inside of me right after giving birth to my first daughter. From that point on, I truly understood my power, and motherhood has been my biggest inspiration." — Beyoncé
6. "I will tell you what I can't abide — and I think the internet has really created a space for it — women criticizing other women and mothers criticizing other mothers." — Jennifer Garner
7. "Little souls find their way to you whether they're from your womb or someone else's." — Sheryl Crow
8. "I tell my daughter every morning, 'Now, what are the two most important parts of you?' And she says, 'My head and my heart.' Because that's what I've learned in the foxhole: what gets you through life is strength of character and strength of character and strength of spirit and love." — Viola Davis
9. "Becoming a mother has made me next-level confident. I've never felt more empowered." — Kelly Clarkson
10. "Nothing can really prepare you for the sheer, overwhelming experience of what it means to become a mother. It's full of complex emotions of joy, exhaustion, love, and worry, all mixed together." — Kate Middleton
11. "The interesting thing about being a mother is that everyone wants pets, but no one but me cleans the kitty litter." — Meryl Streep
12. "When you become a mom, there's something that just happens where you feel like you can take on the world and do anything." — Rihanna
13. "Be a full person. Motherhood is a glorious gift, but do not define yourself solely by motherhood. Be a full person. Your child will benefit from that." — Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
14. "You're always going to wonder if you're doing things wrong, but that's what it means to be a mom, to care so much about someone else that you just want to be perfect as possible." — Naya Rivera
15. "I like to think of motherhood as a great big adventure. You set off on a journey, you don't really know how to navigate things, and you don't exactly know where you're going or how you're going to get there." — Cynthia Rowley
16. "A mother's love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity, it dares all things and crushes down remorselessly all that stands in its path." — Agatha Christie
17. "It's the best acting of my life right here, the well-rested woman. It's my finest role." — Kerry Washington
18. "A warrior believes in an end she can't see and fights for it. A warrior never gives up. A warrior fights for those weaker than herself. It sounds like motherhood to me." — Kristin Hannah
19. "I often tell my daughters that the most important thing they can do is to develop their minds. You can always put on a pretty dress, but it doesn't matter what you wear on the outside if your mind isn't strong. There is nothing more attractive — you might even say enchanting — than a woman with an independent will and her own opinions." — Angelina Jolie
20. "You have suffered enough. That became my mantra for motherhood from there on out. You have suffered enough. If you can make it easier, make it easier, and don't feel guilty about it." — Ali Wong

B+C: Why do you think so many of us are overthinking things, especially in the age of modern social media?

Amanda Montell: I decided to title the book The Age of Magical Overthinking because I couldn't help but notice that there just seems to be an inexplicable, excessive [amount of] delulu in the culture despite the fact we're living in the so-called information age. Everything from people with Master's degrees basing their genuine decisions on astrology to, you know, my neighbors opting not to get the Covid vaccine because a TikToker — a like, white girlie with a Bindi — told them it would downgrade their DNA.

Stuff like that didn't seem to check out for me, especially since we're ostensibly living in a time when you can fact check anything with the click of a button. I was like, 'What is going on here,' and as it turns out, what is going on is this innate clash between our innate decision-making shortcuts — the processes by which we always jump to conclusions in order to make quick decisions to make sense of the world enough to survive it. There's a clash between those age old decision-making methods called cognitive biases and the information age in a way that is ending up pretty explosive for society at large...and is causing us a great deal of existential pain.

So, magical thinking — or the idea that our internal thoughts can affect external events — is a human quirk that has been around since the dawn of our species. But I think overthinking is really a product of the modern age or result of this capitalistic pressure to be right about everything under the sun...

B+C: How do you think this is impacting the way we interact with each other?

Amanda Montell: There's a lot going on. We need to interact in person in order to have empathy...to establish the social glue that keeps us from getting into extremely fraud and sometimes violent ideological conflict. I think there's the idea that the internet is causing ideological rifts to widen and I think in a way that's true, but what's more problematic is the fact we are engaging in social discourse in a medium that prevents that empathy from holding us together.

I think almost everyone can relate to the experience of receiving a curt email from a boss or receiving a salty Instagram comment that sends us into fight or flight. We're responding to non-threats — these sort of abstract disagreements or fake problems — that we're projecting panic onto.

B+C: Can you break down the halo effect for our readers?

Amanda Montell: It was so much fun to explore this particular cognitive bias early in the book because I felt like it really would set up the whole thesis of it quite well. Basically the halo effect is this penchant admire one quality in a person — their fashion sense, their intelligence, the way they blend an oat milk latte — and then assume they must be perfect overall. This halo effect connects to the ways ancient humans used to find role models for survival purposes in our communities.

Ages ago, you used to clock someone in your small village with big muscles...and figure, 'Oh they must be a skilled hunter or they've avoided disfigurement from battle. I would love to align myself with this person for survival,' even though you're jumping to conclusions about them. Their big muscles might not necessarily indicate that they're skilled in battle or they're a good hunter, but it's an efficient enough decision to make.

We're not mapping that conclusion jumping onto modern parasocial relationships. We see a pop star whose music we really connect to and assume they must be educated, worldly, nurturing, they're political beliefs align with ours in this particular time when we're losing so much trust in the government...Basically since the Regan era — our first celebrity President — celebrities have really started swerving into other aspects of life (spiritual, political, etc.,)...

Rapid Fire Q&A

B+C: What are some some of the things you're currently obsessing over?

Amanda Montell: That's so funny you asked that because on this new podcast — The Magical Overthinkers — I also am opening every episode by asking 'What's an irrational thought spiral that's living rent-free in your head?'

I am totally overthinking my book tour outfits right now. Speaking of consumerism as like a distracting or numbing exercise, launching a book is very stressful and the one thing that made me feel some sense of relief is just shopping for cute outfits. I've been buying a lot of plaid skirt suits. The vibe is definitely 90s nostalgic, a little dark academia meets cochette.

B+C: If you were to give yourself five days to unplug from social media, how would you spend your time?

Amanda Montell: Great question. You know what? I'm setting up a week like this for myself in May after the book tour stuff dies down. After my last book Cultish came out, I was unwell in the mind. I felt so exposed and so fragile. I was like, 'I need to send myself on some kind of retreat,' so I sent myself on this little solo excursion to the Blue Ridge Mountains of Western North Carolina and it was so healing...I went and lived in an Airstream for a couple of days. I was doing nature walks and lying in a hammock journaling...

The Age of Magical Overthinking

Watch the Full Interview with Amanda Montell:

What did the ending of The Challengers mean?

There is a lot of tension between Tashi, Art, and Patrick throughout the movie, and it all builds to the titular Challenger match. It's Art vs. Patrick, and they're playing for way more than just the title and the money (though of course, they're definitely playing for the title and the money) — this is one final chance to prove themselves to Tashi, who's sitting court-side looking very unimpressed.

Both men lose their cool during different sets, but it's in the third and final set that everything comes to a head. At the end of the match, Patrick confesses to sleeping with Tashi using a tennis ball and racket signal only Art recognizes. For a split second Art is is complete shock, and I expected him to completely lose it. And, technically, he does, but in a totally unexpected way. Rather than jump the net and punch Patrick in the face, Art channels his emotions into his tennis, and the fury he feels actually allows him break through whatever slump he's been stuck in.

Unable to have a conversation about Patrick's secret, Art and Patrick talk with their serves and returns. And because Tashi doesn't catch the signal, for the first time in the whole movie, she's cut out of the conversation.

Did Tashi love Art and Patrick?

Tashi's been pulling the strings ever since she met Art and Patrick, and she's never not been in control. After Patrick sends the signal, she knows something is going on between them, she just doesn't know what — and it unnerves her. Thanks to Zendaya's expert subtlety, the twitch of her eyebrow or the particularly anxious way she grips her hands are the only things that give her away. But her confusion, and the men's anger, quickly turn to pure joy in the final moments of the movie.

Patrick and Art end up playing so intensely that they meet at the net and embrace, prompting Tashi's iconic tennis yell before she gives one of her first genuine laughs of the film and the screen cuts to black. The first time I saw the movie, I thought "What?!" but the more I think about it, the clearer the Challengers ending is.

Patrick and Art (whose relationship begins six or seven years before the movie opens) haven't spoken since the big fight surrounding Tashi's injury, and their hug proves they're just happy to be playing together again. It's what they've always loved, and their fight over Tashi almost ended it forever. Tashi's pure elation shows she's happy to watch some good tennis, especially after she failed to help Art break out of his rut.

We've only seen Tashi scream like that once before, when she admits to a perfect tennis match. While Tashi does care for Patrick and Art, the end of Challengers proves the characters' true love was never really each other — it was always the game.