Recommended for you
The world of relationships is changing—and many women can feel it.
More women today are doing deep inner work than ever before. We are slowing down, reflecting, healing, and redefining what love means to us. The old relationship model, in which women tolerated emotional disconnect, carried the emotional labor, or remained in relationships that chipped away at their self-worth, is beginning to fade.
Settling isn’t the end goal, and we are not willing to shrink ourselves to be loved, or to stay in partnerships that feel one-sided, confusing, or emotionally unstable.
Learn more about what astrology says about green flags in your partner.
Getty
I know this shift intimately. As a newly divorced woman and professional astrologer, I’ve experienced firsthand what it means to dismantle a life that no longer fits—and rebuild from the inside out. It wasn’t an easy task, but as I leaned into realizing my worth while factoring in my happiness, I changed and became a better person even though I suffered heartbreak.
Astrology played a powerful role in my own healing. It helped me understand myself more deeply and gave language to emotional patterns I once struggled to name. This path reminded me that starting over can be one of the most incredible moments in your life—even though it can be scary—you can step onto a more aligned path, which can result in attracting the partner of your dreams.
Getty
Today, much of my work is dedicated to supporting women in these transitional spaces: healing heartbreak, rediscovering their self-worth, and rebuilding their lives after relationships that no longer meet their standards.
Astrology can point us in the right direction, but eventually it’s up to us to believe in the path forward—and to never compromise our emotional wellness for the sake of security or staying in relationships that bring more questions than peace.
That’s why conversations about emotional intelligence in men feel more important than ever.
Getty
In a recent conversation with Dr. Brian Paris, a neuroscience-based holistic performance coach and speaker with the conscious streaming platform Gaia, whose work focuses on nervous system regulation, emotional awareness, and embodied leadership. His work bridges modern neuroscience with embodiment practices that help people reconnect with presence—something that deeply shapes how we show up in our relationships.
What struck me most about our conversation was the shared belief that emotional maturity isn’t only philosophical, but also physiological.
“Regulating the nervous system is being in response versus reaction,” Paris explains.
In many ways, astrology has been describing this evolution all along. When we look at a birth chart through a relationship lens, two planetary archetypes often reveal a great deal about emotional intelligence: the Moon and Mars.
The Moon reflects how someone processes emotions and creates safety in relationships, while Mars reveals how someone handles conflict, action, and results. Together, they offer powerful insight into emotional availability.
Photo by Jess Loiterton
The Moon: Emotional Safety in Relationships
The Moon in astrology represents our emotional world—how we process feelings, seek comfort, and express our vulnerability. When someone has developed emotional awareness, their Moon energy tends to show up as empathy, emotional presence, and the ability to hold space for others.
And according to Paris, this is exactly what many women are longing for.
“Women are begging to be met emotionally—space to be held,” he says.
Emotionally intelligent partners understand that their role isn’t always to solve problems but to hold space and create an environment where emotions can safely exist. As Paris explains, “A man who’s done his work doesn’t compete with a woman’s power — he stabilizes himself so he can meet it.”
This kind of emotional awareness creates something incredibly important in relationships: care. And when emotional safety is present, women often flourish in every other area of life.
“A woman in her radiance doesn’t overwhelm a grounded man — she inspires him to rise with her,” Paris says.
This is something many women instinctively understand. When emotional safety exists in a relationship, it creates space for expansion rather than resistance.
Getty
Mars: Strength Without Emotional Shutdown
If the Moon represents emotional sensitivity, Mars represents action. Mars is the planet of drive, courage, and how someone handles pressure or conflict. Traditionally, masculinity has often been associated with dominance or emotional detachment. But an emotionally evolved Mars energy expresses something different: grounded strength and self-control.
“We’ve been trained to solve,” Paris says. “It’s not about fixing. It’s about accepting, supporting, and then creatively coming up with a new plan.”
Emotionally available men don’t react impulsively. Instead, they respond consciously.
“The true presence of a man is presence,” Paris explains. “Can you hold the space? Can you contain the emotions?”
In astrology terms, this is Mars energy that has matured—strength expressed through awareness rather than emotional shutdown.
Getty
The Green Flags of an Emotionally Evolved Partner
For women navigating the modern dating landscape, recognizing a partner's emotional intelligence can sometimes feel confusing. But there are often simple signs that someone is doing the inner work. According to Paris, one of the most powerful indicators is curiosity.
“Is he asking questions?” he says. “Is he curious about how you feel?”
Emotionally available partners tend to:
- Ask thoughtful questions about your emotional experience
- Listen without immediately trying to fix everything
- Stay calm during difficult conversations
- Take accountability for their actions
- Show curiosity about personal growth
These behaviors signal something deeper than attraction—they signal presence and understanding. And presence is quickly becoming one of the most attractive qualities in modern relationships.
Getty
Staying Grounded in Your Worth
Of course, finding emotionally available partners also requires something from us: self-awareness. For many women, the real work happens when we recognize where we have historically abandoned ourselves in relationships. Paris suggests beginning with an honest question:
“Look at the areas where you shame yourself and ask where you can give that part of yourself more love.”
Getty
When women begin to heal those internal narratives, something powerful happens.
We stop chasing emotional validation.
We stop accepting relationships that dim us.
And we start choosing partnerships that support our growth.
Know that emotionally available men aren’t perfect, but are present. Just by being actively present in our relationships, we can change everything.
As Paris puts it simply, “Listen to understand—not to be understood.”
For a deeper dive into this conversation, you can listen to the full interview with Dr. Brian Paris on the You Are Celestial Podcast.
Dr. Brian Paris will be speaking at Gaia’s 5th annual Emersion Conference for healing and transformation, taking place March 14–15 in Boulder, Colorado. The event will also be livestreamed for those who want to tune in remotely.
