Did you know that this past week was National Pet Week? While we don’t need a designated week to give our pets a little extra love, we will happily use it as an excuse to share a recent artistic find with you: 15 Charts That Perfectly Illustrate How to Properly Pet Animals.

From cats to unicorns to goldfish and ghost dogs, after reading this post you can happily consider all of your petting questions officially answered. It’s like Petting Etiquette 101 — perhaps, petiquette? No. Not that. Now, let’s get on with it!

1. Dog: Ooooh get under that belly!

2. Cat: OMFG yes rub my derriere please.

3. Hedgehog: I want power rings.

4. Unicorn: This very complicated magical creature grants wishes left and right. Or, horn and undercarriage.

5. Bugs: Gross. Why do you want to pet a bug?

6. Bear: But what about my bear hug?

7. Pig: Oink!

8. Chinchilla: Um. We need one of these at Brit HQ. Stat.

9. Goldfish: Wait, did you actually think you could pet a goldfish?

10. Bunny: Remember the rabbit foot keychain trend?

11. Ghost Dog: You seriously can’t though.

12. Snake: Why oh why would you want to pet a snake?

13. Horse: Comb it and braid it? Don’t mind if I do.

14. Wolverine: No one wants to get bit.

15. No, Wolverine: … Maybe.

Do you now feel enlightened? Seen any other hilarious charts lately? Talk to us in the comments below.