Fifty Shades of Grey. If you haven’t heard of it, we’re not sure where you’ve been. It’s the latest (read: only) volume of erotic fiction that’s currently sweeping the nation, and it has absolutely nothing to do with color or lack thereof. But, at Brit HQ, when we see something that lends itself to color-based punnery, we simply can’t resist.
We decided to apply Christian Grey’s color namesake as well as his penchant for goods that are hard edged and modern to the lifestyle categories you see every day on our website. From Earl Grey Macarons to a Gray Studded iPhone case, here are Fifty Shades of Grey… the Brit way. ;)
1. Steve Jobs Print ($89): How better to kick off a Brit-ified roundup than with one of our heros?
2. Ultra Flat Wall Clock ($32): A different shade of gray for every hour.
3. Short Drum Pendant Lamp ($149): Modern and manly.
4. Nailhead Headboard ($449-$799): The title of this headboard says it all.
5. Animal Wine Stoppers ($11): You're not the only animal in this house.
6. Gray World Map ($30): The world is Grey's oyster.
7. Gray Baker’s Twine ($15): For tying up your odds and ends… and whatever else.
8. Mid Century Sofa: Can't be a mogul without a dose of mid-century design.
9. Military Style Wool Blankets ($35 for 4): Warm and cozy, but with the roughness of the military.
10. 5-Drawer Steel Flat File ($832): For sexual contracts and what not.
11. Gray Rotary Phone: Few items are as classic and Mad Men-esque as an old rotary phone.
12. Pantone iPhone Case ($40): Cool Gray 5 is the quintessential medium gray.
13. Gray Studded iPhone Case ($29): Studly, metallic, and handmade.
14. Warby Parker Griffin Glasses ($95): Four eyes never looked so good.
15. Swansea Beach Radio ($40): The secret awesomeness of this radio? It's actually an iPod/iPhone dock!
16. Suede Woven iPad Case ($124): The right mix of soft suede and hard metal…
17. Bag in Bag ($49): Keep your documents, iPad, and everything you need in a bag… in a bag.
18. Vintage 1970s Smith Corona Typewriter, Two Toned Gray ($68): Grey's top secret documents are better typed the old-fashioned way.
19. Urbanears Dark Grey Headphones ($54): When you need to tune out all that noise, slap these on.
20. Fuzzy Wuzzy Camera Case ($15): Cover up that incriminating point and shoot with a little fuzzy goodness.
21. Small Grey Ceiling Pot Rack ($140): Kind of looks like a torture device for pots and pans, no?
22. Razorblade Bottle Opener ($16): Sharp and steely.
23. Ikea Slate Dishes: Nothing like sleek Swedish style to bring an element of modernity to any kitchen.
24. Gray Straws ($8): For ice-cold glasses of lemonade on a hot summer night.
25. Cuisinart SmartStick ($30): Tough enough to puree piping hot soup, you best be careful with this one.
26. Black Sesame Cookies: Dark, sweet, and seedy all at the same time.
27. Staub La Cocette Mini ($54): Sturdy like a dutch oven but mini enough to be inconspicuous.
28. Heath Ceramics Mug: For a cup of coffee with two shots of espresso.
29. Fisticup Ceramic Mug ($12): I mean, it's a mug with fisticuffs. What else do you need to know?
30. Earl Grey Macarons: Lovebirds need a little sweetness too.
31. Dame De Paris Push Up Bra ($99): Feminine and edgy, and perfect for Ana.
32. Polka Dot Pinup Dress ($70): Channel your inner Bettie Page with this pinup number.
33. Nordic Pattern Knit Shorts ($30): Schoolgirl charm with a love of the cold.
34. Gray Suspenders ($18): Suspenders seem like a must for Mister Grey.
35. Horton Spiked Loafers ($76): When your mate needs a swift (and spiky) kick in the rear.
36. China Glaze Nail Polish Awaken ($4): An ideal nail color to match Miss Steele.
37. Herschel Survey Backpack ($56): Gotta have a stylish overnight bag.
38. Lattice Knit Long Sleeve Tee ($48): The lattice keeps you all tied up.
39. Nixon Men’s Resin Analog Watch ($60): To keep track of every secret rendezvous.
40. Pyramid Studded Tote ($79): You never know when your purse might come in handy as a weapon.
41. Sonic Fabric Necktie ($120): Made of 50% recycled audiocassette tape, these chic ties double as… you know, ties. ;)
42. Gray Porcelain Ring ($38): Go super mod and forgo the gold, platinum, and titanium for porcelain.
43. Mustache Corkscrew ($10): It's a mustache and a corkscrew. We don't need to spell it out.
44. Gray Felted Bauble Necklace ($25): Another item that combines roughness with softness.
45. Gray Patchwork Bow Tie ($30): We love this shabby chic piece of flair.
46. Gray Flowers: A beautiful arrangement to inspire even a rainy wedding day!
47. Custom Gray Garter: Though the garter tradition may be an awkward one, this sexy little bit of lace is totally smokin'.
48. Handcrafted Guestbook ($65): Collect your guests' love-filled thoughts in this handmade number.
49. Flower Girl Flowers ($7): Adorn the little ones with these lovely felt fleurs!
50. Gray Ombre Wedding Cake: And because all great things conclude with a wedding, check out this grayscale wedding cake. We love it!
And there you have it. 50 Shades of Living, Tech, Food, Style and Weddings. 50 Shades of Grey… the Brit way. Have you read Fifty Shades of Grey? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below or say hi on Twitter.