Most introverts are raised with an understanding of what their introversion means — and it’s not always the most flattering impression. Kids labeled as introverts at a young age may grow up with a built-in insecurity about successfully making conversation, conducting small talk at a party, or even connecting with people on a date. Regardless of how true or not these things are, there are certain stereotypes associated with being classified as an introvert or extrovert.
But according to dating app Plenty of Fish‘s (POF) recent survey of over 2,000 single Americans, the playing field is actually pretty level between introverts and extroverts. Per a Plenty of Fish spokesperson, 75 percent of introverts and 72 percent of extroverts actually have no preference when it comes to dating either party, especially given the fact that online dating has only served to blur the lines between the two. When it comes to dating, introverts can even have the upper hand. Conversation expert Celeste Headlee explains that there are five specific advantages held by the introverted among us. Keep scrolling for all the details.
1. Introverts are good at asking questions. According to Headlee, introverts tend to ask more questions of others. Anyone who’s ever been in a one-sided conversation with a potential S.O. or on an otherwise awkward first date knows firsthand that this kind of innate, authentic curiosity plays really well in the dating world. It feels good to have someone genuinely interested in getting to know you better — and it doesn’t hurt your chances at a second date, either.
2. Introverts don’t need to have the spotlight. Two people vying to be the star of a conversation does not a good conversation make. Since introverts are typically not predisposed to be the star of any show, they’re more comfortable in a listening role and are therefore great at the gentle back-and-forth that constitutes ideal first date banter.
3. Introverts skip the small talk. No one’s saying that there’s anything inherently wrong with small talk — or that extroverts are always its biggest fans — but everything’s better in moderation, especially when it allows you to fast-forward through the more stilted parts of a date and get to the good stuff. “[Introverts] might skip the pleasantries and move straight to deeper and more interesting subjects,” Headlee tells us. And doesn’t all the best dating magic happen once you get to those deeper, more interesting subjects?
4. Introverts know what they want. True introverts are less likely to enjoy the process of dating multiple people. If you’re on a date with an introvert, you can rest assured that they’re genuinely interested in you — and if you’re an introvert yourself, you should feel pretty comfortable trusting your gut about who you go out with. Your natural instincts will lead you to be selective and decisive, which can be really helpful when you’re seriously looking for The One.
5. Introverts tend to focus more easily. Once you pull an introvert out of their own head — which can, admittedly, be a challenge — they’ll probably be able to engage with you very deeply on a date. As a result, they’ll be less likely to text and answer calls while sitting across the table from you, and in the device-driven dating landscape of 2018, this appeal can hardly be overestimated.
Do you think being an introvert makes it easier or more difficult to date? Tweet us @BritandCo!
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