5 Ways to Respond to Comments *No* Pregnant Woman Wants to Hear
“Awww, you’re getting so big!” is a cringe-worthy statement, even to a pregnant woman’s ears. What your well-meaning coworker really meant to say was, “That adorable baby bump means that you have an entire other human being growing inside you. You’re so lucky!” But, what you heard was, “Come on, stop eating all of the breakroom bagels.” When you’re preggo, you’re hyper-emotional. That means some of those innocent comments or little bits of advice are hurtful or make you want to rage. Calm down, it’s okay. Before hulking out, check out some of these super easy ways to deal with things that no pregnant mama ever wants to here. If you’re the one doing the talking — these are things to never, EVER say to a pregnant woman!
1. You must be due any day now. Nope. Not even close. Unless you know the precise due date, never assume that a pregnant woman is ready to pop. The big birth day could still be weeks — or worse — months away. If someone says this to you, a simple, “No, not yet,” will suffice. Yes, you want to say, “Hey, are you calling me huge or something?” But, some people genuinely have no idea what the difference between a six-month bump and a nine-month one looks like.
2. Are you having twins? Yikes! Why not just say, “You’re a whale?” Like the due date comment, this is one to stay far (far, far) away from. When you’re the recipient of this not-so-pleasant question, don’t take it to heart. Again, some people are clueless when it comes to what a real woman’s pregnant body looks like. They may think that every mama-to-be looks like VS model Irina Shayk strutting down the runway while preggo. That’s not the reality for most women, of course. Unless the comment is borderline (or full-on) body shaming, answer with something such as, “Not that I know of.” It’s to the point, but doesn’t entirely let them off the hook. Maybe they’ll learn to NEVER say that again!
3. You shouldn’t be exercising/doing that/moving that way. Unless you’re the woman’s doctor, you probably have no business telling her how active she should or shouldn’t be. As a pregnant woman, this is one of the first times that you’ll feel mommy-shamed. You haven’t even had the baby, and people are already judging your parenting skills. If you’re out for a jog (a jog that your doctor has completely okayed) and a stranger stops you to say, “I don’t think that bouncing is good for the baby,” ignore the advice and add something along the lines of, “My doctor disagrees.”
4. Bet you can’t wait not to be pregnant anymore. Sure, there are plenty of horror stories where women talk about how uncomfortable, pained and pissed off they are during pregnancy. But this isn’t always the case. Some women are perfectly happy, if not abundantly and awesomely glee-filled, throughout their nine months. If that’s you, just smile and say, “No way. I love it!”
5. Aren’t you scared? Um, yep. Probably. Especially if this is a first-time mom who has no idea what to expect from labor or parenting. Let’s not add more fear to what’s already there. And, if you’re the one who’s suddenly feeling panicked when an acquaintance brings up the anxieties that you’ve been artfully pushing down, you might just want to be truthful and agree. There’s no need to go into detail with someone who you barely know (a “Yes I am” is good enough). But when a true friend or close family member asks, go ahead and share. You might not want to, but talking about it could actually help alleviate your fear or anxiety.
What’s the worst pregnancy comment someone has made to you? Share yours and tweet us @BritandCo!
(Photos via Getty)