This Hackathon Wants to Close Wikipedia’s Gender Gap

Emily (Phoebe Dynevor) is seen getting busy with her fiancé Luke (Alden Ehrenreich) at a wedding. While that's not necessarily gag-worthy, there's one determining factor that could be — she's on her period. Not only that, but there's oral sex involved that Luke happily engages in. It's a highly erotic and graphic scene that has the potential to leave viewers reeling, but Emily and Luke aren't grossed out by what they're doing. They're too caught up in bliss to think there's something wrong about being pleasured during one's period.

I'll be honest — younger me would have immediately ran for the heels at this description because...ew. I'm not personally comfortable with the oral aspect of the scene, but I'm familiar with putting down a towel during period sex. It's all about preference, and no matter where you stand on the period sex issue, it's nice to have a partner that doesn't treat you like a walking science experiment during your period.

What did Phoebe Dynevor say about filming the sex scene in "Fair Play"?

She's actually happy the scene was filmed, and thinks director Chloe Domont did an excellent job showing that sex doesn't have to be skipped the week of someone's period. She told Ellethat male directors would've questioned the necessity of it. "We as women know these things happen all the time, but why are we not seeing it on our screens," she asked.

When does the period sex scene appear in "Fair Play"?

Trigger warning — this sex scene appears at the very beginning of Fair Play. Talk about starting off with a bang!

What is the plot of "Fair Play?"

Fair Play centers around the work culture of a hedge fund company that begins to take a toll on a couple. In a deeper plot analysis, Ellereports that Dynevor's character Emily has a secret engagement to her coworker, but "she gets a surprise promotion, which causes issues in their relationship outside of work." It takes a deep dive into the gender norms that can begin to stifle a relationship if both people have different views of how things are supposed to fall in place in and outside of the home.

What else has Dynevor said about "Fair Play"?

She pointed out that it's an excellent marker for how far society has to go in terms of respecting women. She also told Elle, "We have this idea that world is so progressive...but there's still so much progress to be made and so many things that haven't been done or still taboo." To drive this point further home, Dynevor said, "The thing that was really interesting to me is how modern feminism is clashing with traditional masculinity...Emily is really trying to make herself small to make him [Luke] feel masculine."

This is true because we're seeing the effects of attacks on reproductive and maternal health. Not only that, but there's still an expectation for how women are supposed to carry themselves whether they're mothers or not. As far as we've come, the work to fully recognize that women aren't monolithic and deserve to have our voices, time, and efforts respected is ongoing. That we shouldn't have to shrink so that men don't feel threatened or emasculated. That us asking to be appreciated and respected has nothing to do with attacking men's self esteem.

Until we get to that point, films like Fair Play will continue to exist to push the conversation forward.

When can you watch "Fair Play"?

Fair Play will premiere in theaters September 29, 2023 and will be available to stream on Netflix beginning October 13, 2023.

Watch The Trailer For "Fair Play"

“I love The Golden Girls and I love hanging out with you,” Lara Jean tells 11-year-old Kitty, who canceled her own plans so her sister wouldn’t be alone. But boyfriend or not, these sisters put themselves and each other first. They are more content with loving each other and themselves than finding love — or at least needing it for validation.

Before oldest sister Margot leaves for college in Scotland, she [SPOILER ALERT!] breaks up with her longtime boyfriend Josh. She doesn't want to be tied down to a relationship and she's unwavering in her decision. This decision goes some way in dismantling the pattern that we’ve seen so many times in pop culture where the girl often gets left in the dust for greener pastures. Don’t get me wrong: Every time I watch To All The Boys I've Loved Before, my heart still hurts for Josh and I want the boy next door to have his own happy ending. But Margot’s decision to be selfish about her college experience is not cold or harsh; it’s a power move, and that’s not necessarily a bad thing.

And while Margot jets off for a new adventure, Kitty deliberately sends out the love letters Lara Jean wrote to all her former crushes, including Josh. She gives Lara Jean the push she needs to get out of her shell and act on her feelings, thereby jumpstarting the premise of the movie. Not only does Lara Jean start a fake relationship with Peter to throw off Josh so Margot doesn’t get upset, but she unequivocally shuts down all conversations with him. She refuses to give even the tiniest thought to any lingering feelings she may have. It’s less of an adherence to an arbitrary girl code and more of a natural decision that her love for Margot trumps any adolescent feelings she’s had for Josh.

What the movie so powerfully captures here is Covey girls’ sense of camaraderie — the proverbial “sisters before misters”— that invites viewers to understand that this story, at its core, is a celebration of sisterhood. It’s a rom-com of sisterly love (and the extents the Coveys will go for one another) more than it is of romantic love with cute teen boys.

To All The Boys I've Loved Before doesn’t use gimmicky storylines of sibling rivalry or slut-shaming (Peter is quick to shut that down) to turn this into a caricature version of high school, nor does it perpetuate Lara Jean’s seemingly invisible persona to maintain the shy vs. popular girl dichotomy. In fact, she’s stronger and bolder than Genevieve and Peter — two of the most popular people in school — combined. Lara Jean might not be very experienced, but from the beginning, she’s sure of herself, comfortable in her own skin, and does not ever feel the need to conform to a high school status quo to make a place for herself. When Genevieve makes a snarky remark about her platform boots, Lara Jean is quick to remind her they're vintage. As Peter says, she doesn’t let Gen steamroll over her.

Lara Jean is scared of getting hurt, but she makes Peter work for her trust because she knows her worth. She’s insecure about his feelings for her, but not about whether or not she’s good enough for him. As far as she’s concerned, they’re on equal footing; she makes that quite clear when she suggests that if he’s only dated one girl, he’s not quite the expert he thinks he is. Though the fake romance is his idea, the ball has been in her court since the beginning. She’s delineated her boundaries and decided when to give him a chance and express her true feelings to him. Both scenes of her strutting through the lacrosse field to talk to Peter — when she’s good and ready, mind you, with her back ramrod straight and her head held high — are proof of how self-assured and in control she chooses to be; her popularity or lack thereof has no bearing on that.

Lara Jean’s character may have moments of peak embarrassment in this movie, but she carries herself with confidence and owns her actions, unapologetic about who she is. Much to our chagrin, this movie is fictional, but Lara Jean’s confidence is contagious and all-too-real. While there aren’t enough Peter Kavinskys in the world for all of us, To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before sets a wonderful standard of self-love and confidence that are not bound by social hierarchy. As much as we love falling in love, our love stories start with ourselves.

B+C: Why do you think so many of us are overthinking things, especially in the age of modern social media?

Amanda Montell: I decided to title the book The Age of Magical Overthinking because I couldn't help but notice that there just seems to be an inexplicable, excessive [amount of] delulu in the culture despite the fact we're living in the so-called information age. Everything from people with Master's degrees basing their genuine decisions on astrology to, you know, my neighbors opting not to get the Covid vaccine because a TikToker — a like, white girlie with a Bindi — told them it would downgrade their DNA.

Stuff like that didn't seem to check out for me, especially since we're ostensibly living in a time when you can fact check anything with the click of a button. I was like, 'What is going on here,' and as it turns out, what is going on is this innate clash between our innate decision-making shortcuts — the processes by which we always jump to conclusions in order to make quick decisions to make sense of the world enough to survive it. There's a clash between those age old decision-making methods called cognitive biases and the information age in a way that is ending up pretty explosive for society at large...and is causing us a great deal of existential pain.

So, magical thinking — or the idea that our internal thoughts can affect external events — is a human quirk that has been around since the dawn of our species. But I think overthinking is really a product of the modern age or result of this capitalistic pressure to be right about everything under the sun...

B+C: How do you think this is impacting the way we interact with each other?

Amanda Montell: There's a lot going on. We need to interact in person in order to have empathy...to establish the social glue that keeps us from getting into extremely fraud and sometimes violent ideological conflict. I think there's the idea that the internet is causing ideological rifts to widen and I think in a way that's true, but what's more problematic is the fact we are engaging in social discourse in a medium that prevents that empathy from holding us together.

I think almost everyone can relate to the experience of receiving a curt email from a boss or receiving a salty Instagram comment that sends us into fight or flight. We're responding to non-threats — these sort of abstract disagreements or fake problems — that we're projecting panic onto.

B+C: Can you break down the halo effect for our readers?

Amanda Montell: It was so much fun to explore this particular cognitive bias early in the book because I felt like it really would set up the whole thesis of it quite well. Basically the halo effect is this penchant admire one quality in a person — their fashion sense, their intelligence, the way they blend an oat milk latte — and then assume they must be perfect overall. This halo effect connects to the ways ancient humans used to find role models for survival purposes in our communities.

Ages ago, you used to clock someone in your small village with big muscles...and figure, 'Oh they must be a skilled hunter or they've avoided disfigurement from battle. I would love to align myself with this person for survival,' even though you're jumping to conclusions about them. Their big muscles might not necessarily indicate that they're skilled in battle or they're a good hunter, but it's an efficient enough decision to make.

We're not mapping that conclusion jumping onto modern parasocial relationships. We see a pop star whose music we really connect to and assume they must be educated, worldly, nurturing, they're political beliefs align with ours in this particular time when we're losing so much trust in the government...Basically since the Regan era — our first celebrity President — celebrities have really started swerving into other aspects of life (spiritual, political, etc.,)...

Rapid Fire Q&A

B+C: What are some some of the things you're currently obsessing over?

Amanda Montell: That's so funny you asked that because on this new podcast — The Magical Overthinkers — I also am opening every episode by asking 'What's an irrational thought spiral that's living rent-free in your head?'

I am totally overthinking my book tour outfits right now. Speaking of consumerism as like a distracting or numbing exercise, launching a book is very stressful and the one thing that made me feel some sense of relief is just shopping for cute outfits. I've been buying a lot of plaid skirt suits. The vibe is definitely 90s nostalgic, a little dark academia meets cochette.

B+C: If you were to give yourself five days to unplug from social media, how would you spend your time?

Amanda Montell: Great question. You know what? I'm setting up a week like this for myself in May after the book tour stuff dies down. After my last book Cultish came out, I was unwell in the mind. I felt so exposed and so fragile. I was like, 'I need to send myself on some kind of retreat,' so I sent myself on this little solo excursion to the Blue Ridge Mountains of Western North Carolina and it was so healing...I went and lived in an Airstream for a couple of days. I was doing nature walks and lying in a hammock journaling...

The Age of Magical Overthinking

Watch the Full Interview with Amanda Montell: