Between her Halloween costume faux-pas and an invasion of privacy from no less than J.Law, Kim’s had some week, but this week’s Keeping Up With the Kardashians sees her battle her greatest nemesis: intuitive eating. Kim gets a mildly decadent meal with Jonathan and decides that it’s time for a major change that doesn’t just involve her avoiding her least favorite foods.
She goes to New York to meet with bodybuilder Melissa who evangelizes about portion control and high-intensity interval training. Kim, Khloé, and Jonathan go on a pizza and ice cream binge in New York (yas, Joe’s Pizza!) and Kim seems unlikely to stick with whatever super restrictive diet Melissa will have her on. Initially, Jonathan insists on eating in front of her to tempt her but eventually respects that she will indulge with him once her body is where she wants it to be. I’m not entirely sure that’s how dieting works, but I wouldn’t not trust a Kardashian.
Kris goes with Kourtney and the kids to Cleveland to see Khloé and Tristan and the reception is not warm. Khloé worries about the intense Cavs fans who believe that she is bad luck for the team when she attends games. Corey tells Kris they shouldn’t go to the game and a Cleveland resident yelling “F*** the Kardashians!” makes Khloé hesitant to bring her family. Ultimately, Tristan dismisses the superstition and tells the family they should attend the game, which the Cavs win. Khloé may very well be the bad luck charm Cleveland fans believe her to be, but maybe Kris is the combination rabbit’s foot/horseshoe/four-leaf clover/fuzzy dice good charm the Cavs need to beat the Warriors next year!
The family isn’t sure how to deal with Scott after the Cannes meltdown. Scott, as per usual, continues to cop to his own bad behavior and sort of take responsibility for it on paper. He gets vulnerable with Kim and says he’s worried about being replaced not only where Kourtney is concerned but with the rest of the family. Kim assures him it won’t go down like that, but IF YOU KEEP BEING A BIG OLE JERK, IT JUST MIGHT, SCOTT.
Somehow, Scott and Kourtney end up in the same room with Khloé and Malika. When pressed by Malika, Scott says he would like to have a fourth child with Kourtney but it would have to be artificial insemination. WHAT IS GOING ON HERE? No one calls out this conversation for being as completely ridiculous as it is, and it pivots to Kourtney saying she wouldn’t have another kid with him because of his disrespectful nature. Your chief concern is Scott being disrespectful and not the fact that he is delusional and still trying to manipulate you? At the very least, Scott temporarily reaches a place in confessional where he recognizes that Kourtney has a right to be angry and he should move on, but I’m not holding my breath for Scott to turn over a new leaf anytime soon.
On MVP watch, I’m worried about a few aspects of our heroes’ lives. Khloé is mostly okay but is the Cleveland life really okay for her? Those fans can be such monsters! Kim’s super diet seems like a path to frustration and lack of body positivity, so I wish she’d just eat those poké tacos and live her best life. While Kourtney is definitely living her best life, isn’t it time to maybe not see Scott at all for at least a few months? The surest way to let him know it’s over is for her to cut contact with him, yeah? True MVP of this episode is clearly Kris for conjuring that Cavs win.
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(Photos via E! + Getty)