These Are the 2 Qualities Most Cheaters Have in Common

Picture a cheater. Perhaps you’re imagining Bill Clinton, or Regina George, or maybe even the face of a partner who cheated on you. Regardless, none of these people look identical. In the same way that it’s impossible to determine whether someone is a cheater based on their appearance alone, it’s also impossible to tell if a one-time (or even a few-time) cheater is an all-the-time cheater. We talked to infidelity expert Anita Chlipala, a Chicago-based licensed marriage and family therapist and the author of First Comes Us: The Busy Couple’s Guide to LastingLove ($18), about cheating and why she thinks the saying “once a cheater, always a cheater” should be scrapped.

Who’s Cheating

Line 10 people up in a room, and no one will be able to guess with 100 percent accuracy who the cheaters are, according to Chlipala. “Anyone can [cheat],” she says. For this reason, patterns and trends are almost impossible to pin down, but Chlipala believes two across-the-board qualities of cheaters are conflict avoidance and confusion surrounding infatuation. As for the former, “They might not be as happy or as satisfied because they don’t speak up for what they need in their relationship,” Chlipala says.

Moreover, feelings of infatuation have a lifespan of 12 to 18 months, so those who expect to still feel “Hollywood feelings” after that point in their relationship might stray. “They think they’re with the wrong partner,” Chlipala explains. “And then when they feel the infatuation with somebody else, they think, aha, this must be the person I should be with.”

Why They’re Cheating

Chlipala estimates that 98 percent of her clients never intend to cheat on their partners. Rather, they slide down what she refers to as a slippery slope. So then, what pushes them over the edge? Opportunity and unmet needs.

Chlipala says many of her clients are unhappy in their relationships for years before they engage in infidelity, and the timing has everything to do with an opportunity arising. It isn’t until an old flame or a new hire enters the picture that cheating begins to seem like a viable option.

And unmet needs — physical, sexual, or emotional — can cause people to seek fulfillment of those needs elsewhere. “This could be for something like attention, affection, quality time, or feeling special,” Chlipala says. “And then enter someone else who makes them feel special… and it’s intoxicating.” These needs are especially dangerous when they go unexpressed, which is common for conflict avoiders.

How to Handle Cheating

To counter this, Chlipala encourages explicitness — explicitness about needs, but even more so about cheating in general. In the 11 years Chlipala has worked as a therapist, she has yet to encounter a couple who had defined cheating with each other prior to the incident of infidelity. “People assume monogamy without talking about it, or they assume love is enough,” she says.

People’s opinions of the threshold for cheating can span from emotional cheating to oral sex, so talking it out is essential. Chlipala recommends setting specific guidelines, although “a relationship should not be like a prison.” Topics she suggests discussing are the acceptability of texting another person late at night, spending alone time with another person, or getting drinks with another person. Although these might seem unnecessarily specific, establishing your stances on them beforehand does remove room for error.

Cheating should be talked about, not only within relationships, but also in society as a whole. “People don’t talk about cheating the way that they need to,” Chlipala says. The secrecy surrounding it leads to embarrassment for the betrayed and stigmatization for the betrayer. “I’m not saying that [the cheater’s] behavior is okay,” Chlipala says. “But if we just make this a black and white issue, then we’re not really addressing the real reasons why people are cheating.”

Because, as Chlipala has stated, it’s these “real reasons” — the conditions at that time in that relationship — that cause people to cheat much more so than any fundamental character flaw.

Do you agree with the statement “once a cheater, always a cheater”? Tweet us @BritandCo!

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Black women's hair is continuously critiqued so much that, according to the 2023 CROWN Workplace Research Study, it's 2.5 times more likely to be deemed unprofessional for the workplace. Not only that, but the study also found that Black women with coily or textured hair experience double the amount of microagressions that those who chose to wear their hair straight. This looks like being passed over for jobs or being sent home from work because of a hairstyle — things the CROWN Study amplifies.

So when Beyoncé shared a video of her natural hair on wash day, I felt conflicted. I was excited to see her using products from her hair care brand Cécred, but I couldn't help but wonder if she did it because she felt like she had to prove that she has long hair. Though the video garnered a lot of positive comments, it was very telling that some people still found a way to critique her hair. I shouldn't be surprised, given how many people criticized Blue Ivy's hair when she was younger, but it's still disheartening. However, while the criticisms continue, there's a bigger (and more encouraging) conversation arising.

Images via Jasmine Williams

From the time Beyoncé announced Cécred up to the official launch, many people criticized the singer for never showing the world her real hair. Some people felt the singer was once again diving into a lane she knew nothing about and that she knew nothing about — what it's like to struggle with hair issues as a Black woman. It sparked a greater debate about much Black women owe the world, especially when it comes to proving our hair to the world and our community.

I personally had to teach myself not to be swayed by what others think — especially by the adults throughout my childhood 👀. It's not an easy feat when you're being taught how much your physical appearance determines how others will treat you from employers to strangers who see you in passing. Nevertheless, I was determined to genuinely fall in love with me regardless of what hairstyle I chose to wear (this determination came during the height of the self-love movement).

I've worn everything from my natural hair to long sew-ins, so I've parted ways with feeling like I need to justify my hairstyles to anyone. However, I know that's not always the case for other women — and I'm ready to dismantle this idea that black women are monolithic. And while stars like Beyconcé open themselves up to criticism by working in the public eye, leaving room for legitimate dialogue about their intentions and values and follow through, I also had a feeling that not everyone despises the fact Beyoncé started a hair care brand.

I decided there was no better way to find out than by asking, so I reached out to my community. This resulted in separate, eye-opening conversations with content creators Carolyn Gray andBrittany Waugh, as well as my good friendChelsea Hightower. We talked all things hair and Cécred, trying to understand what the real deal is with Beyoncé's newest endeavor. Here's what they had to say!

Carolyn Gray, Content Creator 

Image via Tone Woolfe

My conversation with Caroyln felt like a huge breath of fresh air. There wasn't a need to code switch (something Black women often navigate when communicating in the workplace and otherwise) as we had an open and honest discussion about her hair journey.

"When it comes to hair, I had two amazing perspectives on two ends of the spectrum in my family. I had my grandmother on my mom's side of the family — which is Caribbean — and they were all about relaxing the hair, doing the hair, having the hair salon in the back of the house that everyone would come to. That was their perspective of having refined, relaxed, and always put together hair...Having this idea that's how hair should be," she says.

On the other hand, her grandmother in the Maryland had gorgeous locs who told Carolyn as a child, "Don't ever let them tell you that they're dreadlocks. Ain't nothing dreadful about them." Ultimately Carolyn got a chance to see one group of women who felt like afro hair or natural hair wasn't 'neat' while the other side of her family believed curly hair is beautiful in a spiritual sense.

This helped prepare Carolyn for working in the corporate side of the fashion and fitness worlds. "I had a short perm there [in fitness] and was spoken to about what types of hair was acceptable on the sales floor or not. I started relaxing my hair in high school because it took my mom hours to manage my hair in its natural state and she fell into 'It's just easier for me this way without having to always go to the hair salon,' thing."

Her relaxer lasted from ages 14 until 27, but she's always played around with colors, short cuts, weaves, and even made her own wigs at one point. Though she knew there was a stigma around natural hair, she's always made it a point to have fun no matter what hairstyle she has.

Image via Denise Stephanie Hewitt

So when Beyoncé announced the launch of Cécred, Carolyn didn't hesitate to send the news to her hairstylist to see how she felt. Her hairstylist's response? "I'm gonna buy the [super] fan bundle! Whatever bundle there is, I'm buying it!."

Carolyn says, "Initially I wanted to get her perspective to see if this would be something to try on my hair. Like, what did she think about the legacy of Beyoncé and her affair with hair as well as her mother's history as a hairstylist." She also reminded me that fans were able to catch a glimpse of Cécred's formulas on a table in her documentary for Renaissance. "I was like, 'what is this gold liquid thing on that table,'" she recalls excitedly.

"I didn't have any negative feeling about it because her mom has been a hairstylist. She [Beyoncé] has to wear weaves and color and I always wondered how she maintained her hair. I also thought how she cares for her hair with all the performing and the things she has to do," she says.

Concerning all of the negative thoughts about Cécred and Beyoncé's hair, Carolyn admits that she was thoroughly surprised at what some people were saying. She actually experienced said negativity in person when she was a part of a panel about Black beauty, but this didn't change her excitement about trying Cécred.

"I feel like my hair looks really healthy and I find that I've had less hair breakage since I've been using it. The reality is that I feel this hair care collection — the entire collection — is replacing the other products I used to maintain my blonde hair and the health of my hair."

She took care to mention that she believes Cécred is on par with Olaplex and K18. "I haven't had as much dandruff either because of that scrubbing shampoo [Clarifying Shampoo & Scalp Scrub]. Good Lord, what kind of scrub is that," she says with a laugh. Her only initial gripe is that she wasn't a fan of the shampoo's scent because she has a sensitive nose, but she barely notices it now.

You can watch her full review of Cécred on YouTube.

Brittany Waugh, Beauty Content Creator

Image via Brittany Waugh/Instagram

Brittany's hair journey is one that's void of putting chemicals in her hair. She says, "I grew up with a mom who prioritized healthy haircare. I spent the majority of my early childhood in natural hairstyles, only getting press and curls for holidays." The reason for is this is that her mom didn't want her to have damage from coloring her hair or relying on relaxers like she did. Brittany admits, "Even to this day, I am scared to use chemicals."

However, she used to experience pressure to alter her hair growing up. "I wear wigs often, but also wear my hair in a natural pineapple updo to the gym for convenience. In my house growing up, a new hairstyle every week or every two weeks was mandatory, so I have adopted that. However, as I get older, I don't feel as pressured to do this, but more so changing my hair for my enjoyment and wearing it how I feel comfortable."

Now that Cécred is on the market, Brittany shares that she was a little wary about trying the brand's products for personal reasons. "While I was of course excited because it was coming from Beyoncé, I am a person who rarely changes my routine. When I find products that work for me, unless something spectacular comes along and changes my mind, I stick with the products I know work for me."

She's gone on to embrace the brand and says, "I can truly tell that the entire line was well-produced and developed. I am someone who mutually deals with psoriasis similar to Beyonce, so finding products that help with that flare-up is rare. Their Clarifying Shampoo & Scalp Scrub with the Deep Conditioner have helped my scalp and hair more than the products I have been accustomed to."

She shared a brief BTS clip of her admiring Cécred's packaging along with a glimpse of her natural curls on TikTok!

Chelsea Hightower, Compensation Professional & Social Media Content Creator

Image via Chelsea Hightower

As long as I've known Chelsea, she's always worn her natural hair, and it never occurred to me to ask how she ever felt about it until now. "Growing up, I struggled to fully embrace my natural hair. Being a lifelong natural, I've mostly worn my hair in its natural state. However, as kids, our initial hairstyle choices often reflect our parents' or caretakers' preferences rather than our own," she reflects.

She also says, "My mom chose not to relax my hair when I was young, which greatly influenced my acceptance of my natural hair. However, for a long time, my choice was more influenced by circumstance than by preference. I found myself yearning for relaxed, straight hair, despite my mom’s efforts to encourage me to love my natural curls."

No matter how much her mom encouraged her, it was hard to not be influenced by what she was seeing. Chelsea says, "Most of the women and girls I knew had relaxers, including my mom and eventually my older sister. Despite receiving compliments and praise for my beautiful natural hair, I was still swayed by the prevailing trend of relaxed hair. It wasn't until 9th grade when my mom allowed me to relax my hair that I truly understood and appreciated my natural hair. That single experience of having my hair relaxed was enough to make me realize that I never wanted to do it again—I was mortified by how unnaturally straight and stiff it made my hair feel. I knew I’d be a natural girl for life after that!"

As much as she loves her hair, Chelsea admits that it hasn't always been easy to embrace it in a professional setting due to her own feelings about how she might be perceived. "While no one has explicitly told me to change or straighten my hair, I've felt an internal pressure. With a doctorate in Industrial-Organizational Psychology, where I've delved into research on fairness in the workplace and hiring practices, I've come across studies highlighting unconscious biases against people of color based on characteristics like hair," she shares.

Much of her studies and research revealed shocking documented evidence of the biases that POC face due to our hair, definitely playing a role in some of that pressure to conform. She's not afraid to admit that she even made the decision to wear her hair differently when interviewing for her first post-doctorate role. "This concern led me to wear a natural slick-back for some interviews, but for others, I opted for a straight-haired bob wig. Many Black women joke about the 'bait and switch' tactic of wearing a wig or weave for interviews and then revealing their natural hair once hired. That's essentially what I did. Now that I've secured my job, I feel more at ease wearing my natural hair. However, during the interview process, I felt the need to mitigate potential biases by altering my hairstyle."

Image via Chelsea Hightower

When I asked her to share her unfiltered thoughts about using Cécred on her curls, Chelsea eagerly shared how her routine has changed since using the brand's products. "I was really impressed with the Cécred line when I first tried it out. I wanted to minimize bias as much as possible, so I made a conscious effort not to let my admiration for Beyoncé as an entertainer influence my perception of her hair products," she says.

This led her to compare Cécred with another hair care line she frequently uses. "I conducted a side-by-side comparison of Cécred and the other brand to judge Cécred’s performance fairly and without bias...the results spoke for themselves. The curls on the side of my hair treated with Cécred appeared shinier and had better definition on Day 2 compared to the side treated with the other brand. I shared my full wash day comparison on social media, and others agreed with my conclusion that Cécred outperformed the other brand." You can watch her comparison video on Instagram!

Ironically, Chelsea immediately loved the scent of Cécred's products, differing from Carolyn's experience. "Being a scent enthusiast, I appreciate the subtly perfumed fragrance of the products. My favorite product from day one has been the Reconstructing Treatment Mask. Everything about it, from its consistency and scent to the softness it imparts to my hair, is *chefs kiss*! This product recently won the 2024 Women's Health Beauty Award for Best Hair Mask, confirming its quality. It's definitely a product worth trying!"

The only issue she has right now is that she wishes the brand offered more styling products, but we'll see what happens as the year unfolds! Knowing Beyoncé and her team, there's a lot more surprises in store.

Black women – and their many different hair styles, types, and textures — aren't uniform. I love that Carolyn, Brittany, and Chelsea dove into their varying experiences and upbringings to share how it all helped shape the way they approach their hair today. I'm also a huge fan of the way they separately champion Black women, giving themselves and others permission to truly love their hair — natural texture and all — without succumbing to the idea that they have to fit into a certain beauty standard.

And while this could all come together without Cécred, isn't in wonderful the way Beyoncé's brought us all together? (And made our hair look and feel good doing it?) I thought so, too.

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Lead images via Cécred, Tone Woolfe, Chelsea Hightower, and Brittany Waugh

Without a doubt, my favorite episode in all of television is the season seven finale of One Tree Hill. It's got all my favorite things: drama, intrigue, romance, and somehow, the episode also has all of my favorite songs from the show. This teen dramadoes an amazing job throughout its 10-year run of embracing life's beauty in the face of horror and, admittedly, unrealistic danger (remember when Nanny Carrie ran around a corn field with an axe? Because I sure do). And I'm not the only one who would love to see our favorite Tree Hill Ravens back onscreen. Chad Michael Murray and the rest of the cast do too!

What has Chad Michael Murray said about the One Tree Hill reunion?

In a Today Show interview for his new rom-com Mother of the Bride, Chad Michael Murray talked about his dream One Tree Hill reboot plans, and how grateful he is for streaming. "I'm meeting 13, 14, 15-year old fans who are enamored by the show — they weren't alive when we started shooting!" he says.

"I feel like that show, it's needed," he continues. "They could do, like, a Tree Hill Generations and deal with all the trials and tribulations the youth are going through today, you know? Dealing with social media and discrimination and everything else that's out there in the world that we could bring to light so these kids could learn to say, 'Hey! I identify with this and that.' That's what was great about the show was everyone had someone to identify with.

Are Sophia Bush and Hilarie Burton friends?

Image via Noam Galai/Getty Images for Netflix

Yes, Sophia Bush and Hilarie Burton are still friends! Most recently, the actresses and activists showed up to the NYC premiere of our new TV show obsession: Girls5eva. Both women wore black blazers while Hilarie rocked knee high boots and a pop art purse, and Sophia paired her leather suit with strappy heels. I need these besties onscreen again ASAP!!

Will there ever be a One Tree Hill reunion?

Image via The CW/The WB

"I just can't see a world where something won't happen," Chad tells E! News. "Something will happen. Whether we get everybody together and do a live reading of the show, or we create a new fictional future episode, I don't know what it will be."

"If there wasn’t some sort of like spinoff or something, I would be so surprised," Barbara Alyn Woods says in an Entertainment Tonight interview. "Because we’re all on board, we’re all friends, it would be the most fun show anybody has ever been on."

"I feel very fortunate. Not only has the show had this major resurgence – I actually think it’s bigger now than it was when it aired," she continues. "We just need to keep going, this thing is not going to die."

I'd love to see what everyone's life looks like in 2023, especially all of the main characters' kids. It'd be like One Tree Hill: The Next Generation! Would Jamie still play basketball? Would Brooke's twins take an interest in design? I have so many questions.

Is there a One Tree Hill next generation?

Image via Fred Norris/The CW/The WB

The end of One Tree Hill sees our favorite Tree Hill Ravens happily celebrating a new chapter in life. They're all adults, and the majority of them are married with children! If we were ever going to get a One Tree Hill next gen, the series would probably focus on Jackson and Lydia (Nathan and Haley's kids), Sawyer (Lucas and Peyton's daughter), Jude and Davis (Brooke and Julian's twins), and hopefully Jenny (Jake's daughter from season one!).

Does the cast of One Tree Hill still talk?

Image via The CW/The WB

The cast has found other ways to celebrate the show, and their relationships. Sophia Bush, Hilarie Burton, and Bethany Joy Lenz (who played Brooke, Peyton, and Haley, respectively) host the Drama Queens rewatch podcast, while different members of the cast have teamed up for Christmas movies like The Christmas Contract and (my personal favorite) A Christmas Wish.

They also recently reunited for the show's 20th anniversary in Wilmington, North Carolina, where the show was filmed! "Got to hang out with some great humans this weekend," Austin Nichols (who played Julian) posted on Instagram. "Old friends. Old stories. Lots of laughs. And made a bunch of new friends. Thank you to everyone who made this happen!"

"I spent 6 years on OTH. I’ve spent 14 years celebrating what comes AFTER with these people," Hilarie Burton says in her Instagram post. "They’ve heard me. Healed me. Humored me. I’m just really really grateful that we get these magical little moments to be together."

Sophia Bush also celebrated with a simple, "Honestly? Obsessed with us." Me too, Sophia. Me too.

Will Mark Schwahn be involved in a One Tree Hill reunion?

Image via Angela Weiss/Getty Images

After the female cast members of OTHpublished a letter expressing they had been manipulated and harassed by creator Mark Schwahn, male cast members like Chad Michael Murray and James Lafferty expressed their support for the women. The cast has since said they'd be open to doing a reboot — but it sounds like it's more likely to happen if Mark is not involved.

Where can I watch One Tree Hill?

Image via The CW/The WB

All episodes of One Tree Hill are streaming on Hulu now!

What would your dream One Tree Hill reunion look like? Let us know in the comments and check out our Facebook for more pop culture news!

Lead image via The CW/The WB

This post has been updated.

When Sydney Sweeney showed up to the Met Gala red carpet rocking a jet black bob, the entire Brit + Co team thought she was Billie Eilish — and I immediately started daydreaming about these incredible women playing sisters! We know from Anyone But You and SNL that both Sydney and Billie can balance humor and heart, and I am convinced they need to headline a sister comedy, like, right now. I asked AI to write the plot of a (very hypothetical, unconfirmed) Billie Eilish and Sydney Sweeney movie so, for now, we can daydream even more!

Billie Eilish And Sydney Sweeney's Sister Roadtrip Comedy

Image via Andreas Rentz/Getty Images

Sister Vibes

In Sister Vibes, Sydney Sweeney would star as Ruby opposite Billie Eilish's Lily. These two sisters might have opposite personalities, but they're both at a crossroads in their lives. Ruby is a meticulous, Type-A oldest daughter who's always played it safe in the corporate job she hates. Lily is a free-spirited artist struggling to find her place in the world, and although she dreams of making it big, she's afraid of losing her authentic self.

Feeling totally stuck and unsure about their futures, the sisters decide to go on a big roadtrip to fulfill their desire for adventure. As they make their way across the country (snacks in-hand and roadtrip playlist at full volume), they learn more about their dreams, themselves, and each other than they could have hoped for. And it wouldn't be a comedy without a memorable cast of characters Ruby and Lily encounter along the way! Pedro Pascal? Ayo Edebiri? Lindsay Lohan? (It's a trick question because I want to see all of the above!)

In their journey, Ruby and Lily encounter mishaps, unexpected detours, and some seriously profound self-discovery. From mistaken identities and spontaneous dance parties to moments that take their breath away, Sister Vibes would capture the essence of what it's like to be a young woman in 2024 with authenticity and relatability.Through the ups and downs, Ruby and Lily's bond as sisters is tested, but it always comes out stronger on the other side.

Image via Amy Sussman/Getty Images

In this Billie Eilish and Sydney Sweeney movie, their characters discover that their greatest adventure is simply accepting who they truly are and supporting each other no matter what. As cheesy as that sounds — it's so important (and actually more difficult IRL than it sounds!).With its blend of comedy, heart, and vibrant wit, this contemporary comedy would celebrate the strength and resilience of women today. It explores themes of self-acceptance, authenticity, and the importance of meaningful connections in a digital age.

Would you see a movie starring Billie Eilish and Sydney Sweeney? Because I would be all over this! If you love daydreaming about your favorite stars in new movies, check out 5 Leading Ladies We'd Love To See In A Paul Mescal Rom-Com!

Lead images via Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images for The Met Museum/Vogue/JC Olivera/Getty Images