Snaps to Our First Lady: Michelle Obama Is Now on Snapchat

B+C: Why do you think so many of us are overthinking things, especially in the age of modern social media?

Amanda Montell: I decided to title the book The Age of Magical Overthinking because I couldn't help but notice that there just seems to be an inexplicable, excessive [amount of] delulu in the culture despite the fact we're living in the so-called information age. Everything from people with Master's degrees basing their genuine decisions on astrology to, you know, my neighbors opting not to get the Covid vaccine because a TikToker — a like, white girlie with a Bindi — told them it would downgrade their DNA.

Stuff like that didn't seem to check out for me, especially since we're ostensibly living in a time when you can fact check anything with the click of a button. I was like, 'What is going on here,' and as it turns out, what is going on is this innate clash between our innate decision-making shortcuts — the processes by which we always jump to conclusions in order to make quick decisions to make sense of the world enough to survive it. There's a clash between those age old decision-making methods called cognitive biases and the information age in a way that is ending up pretty explosive for society at large...and is causing us a great deal of existential pain.

So, magical thinking — or the idea that our internal thoughts can affect external events — is a human quirk that has been around since the dawn of our species. But I think overthinking is really a product of the modern age or result of this capitalistic pressure to be right about everything under the sun...

B+C: How do you think this is impacting the way we interact with each other?

Amanda Montell: There's a lot going on. We need to interact in person in order to have empathy...to establish the social glue that keeps us from getting into extremely fraud and sometimes violent ideological conflict. I think there's the idea that the internet is causing ideological rifts to widen and I think in a way that's true, but what's more problematic is the fact we are engaging in social discourse in a medium that prevents that empathy from holding us together.

I think almost everyone can relate to the experience of receiving a curt email from a boss or receiving a salty Instagram comment that sends us into fight or flight. We're responding to non-threats — these sort of abstract disagreements or fake problems — that we're projecting panic onto.

B+C: Can you break down the halo effect for our readers?

Amanda Montell: It was so much fun to explore this particular cognitive bias early in the book because I felt like it really would set up the whole thesis of it quite well. Basically the halo effect is this penchant admire one quality in a person — their fashion sense, their intelligence, the way they blend an oat milk latte — and then assume they must be perfect overall. This halo effect connects to the ways ancient humans used to find role models for survival purposes in our communities.

Ages ago, you used to clock someone in your small village with big muscles...and figure, 'Oh they must be a skilled hunter or they've avoided disfigurement from battle. I would love to align myself with this person for survival,' even though you're jumping to conclusions about them. Their big muscles might not necessarily indicate that they're skilled in battle or they're a good hunter, but it's an efficient enough decision to make.

We're not mapping that conclusion jumping onto modern parasocial relationships. We see a pop star whose music we really connect to and assume they must be educated, worldly, nurturing, they're political beliefs align with ours in this particular time when we're losing so much trust in the government...Basically since the Regan era — our first celebrity President — celebrities have really started swerving into other aspects of life (spiritual, political, etc.,)...

Rapid Fire Q&A

B+C: What are some some of the things you're currently obsessing over?

Amanda Montell: That's so funny you asked that because on this new podcast — The Magical Overthinkers — I also am opening every episode by asking 'What's an irrational thought spiral that's living rent-free in your head?'

I am totally overthinking my book tour outfits right now. Speaking of consumerism as like a distracting or numbing exercise, launching a book is very stressful and the one thing that made me feel some sense of relief is just shopping for cute outfits. I've been buying a lot of plaid skirt suits. The vibe is definitely 90s nostalgic, a little dark academia meets cochette.

B+C: If you were to give yourself five days to unplug from social media, how would you spend your time?

Amanda Montell: Great question. You know what? I'm setting up a week like this for myself in May after the book tour stuff dies down. After my last book Cultish came out, I was unwell in the mind. I felt so exposed and so fragile. I was like, 'I need to send myself on some kind of retreat,' so I sent myself on this little solo excursion to the Blue Ridge Mountains of Western North Carolina and it was so healing...I went and lived in an Airstream for a couple of days. I was doing nature walks and lying in a hammock journaling...

The Age of Magical Overthinking

Watch the Full Interview with Amanda Montell:

Since its debut on February 14, Love Is Blind Season 6 has taken viewers across the globe (yes, the globe—my London-based sister is a devoted watchee) on a journey. We’ve gathered for the proposals, the dismissals, the guffaws, and the cringes alike, collectively sitting on the edge of ours eats wondering: will they or won’t they? And, while there are indeed a myriad of hot takes to unpack from the final three episodes of Season 6, I’ve found my brain clouded by another query: why is Love Is Blind is so damn watchable in the first place?

Reality TV is often dismissed by the masses as a collective evil. A vapid, low-brow, mindless behemoth of capitalistic exploitation with little to offer in the way of social and cultural enrichment. A waste of time; a media outlet designed only for the lowest common denominator of viewership. In fact, reality TV opponents are so vocal that naysayers have even lobbied against the industry as a whole, claiming the long term effects of watching this form of unscripted entertainment are very real and, more importantly, very detrimental.

According to a 2023 Rolling Stones article, “Not only have studies proven [reality TV] affects our mental health, research has also shown a correlation between watching certain programs and an increase in aggression, manipulation, and narcissism in viewers.” Yikes.

Admittedly, it was not long ago that I, too, was in the camp of people who steadfastly maintained a pretentious judgment for all things reality. I just appreciate shows with a bit more... substance, I’d pompously assert at dinner parties to anyone trying to convince me otherwise.

When my dad suffered a life-altering stroke in 2018, however, somehow this catastrophic personal event coincided perfectly with the airing of Arie Luyendyk’s season of The Bachelor. Try as I might to look elsewhere, allowing the darkness of my personal life to slip away during these weekly two-hour reality show ventures was the perfectly mindless antidote to all of the stress I was experiencing in my waking hours.

Similarly, that same year, when my husband’s mother was diagnosed with Cancer, my sister-in-law and I began ceremoniously ending each night of caregiving by sitting on the couch with Ramona, LuAnn, Sonja, Dorinda, and Bethenny, soothing ourselves to sleep with the dulcet sounds of The Real Housewives of New York arguing over bottle number eight of Veuve whilst on girls’ weekend in the“Bezerkshires.”

I can say with confidence: I truly do not think I would have made it through my personal year of hell without the vacuous outlet provided to me by all things reality TV. Since then, I’ve been hooked. After all, nothing like the zeal of a convert.

In 2022, BBC Radio 4 released the podcast Unreal: A Critical History of Reality TV. Now, for anyone living under a rock, it’s pertinent to note that the BBC is a British media conglomerate that is generally considered to be highly reputable. Thus, their content is, of course, consistently credible. Throughout Unreal, a 10-part investigative radio series, the BBC critically examines the irreplaceable role reality TV plays in defining, mirroring, and preserving the social and cultural zeitgeist of a given era. The program presents reality television history chronologically, episodically unpacking the most highly-watched reality TV shows across the last, now, fifty-some years, beginning with 1973’s An American Family—the prolific reality vanguard, widely considered to be the bellwether for this era of media consumption.

Besides being a must-listen, Unreal makes the case that reality television should not be written off simply as fluff. On the contrary, journalists (and hosts) Pandora Sykes and Sirin Kales suggest that reality TV provides, arguably, one of the most astute reflections of a society at a given time. I don’t necessarily disagree. Which brings me back to Love Is Blind—and, more acutely, the fact that almost every single person I know (collectively spanning a myriad of genders, sexualities, races, and ages) has dutifully tuned in to each and every episode of Season 6. Surely there is something more prescient to be gleaned from a show with this much cross-cultural buy-in. A show whose viewership spans, quite literally, all identities.

What is it about LIB that has us all hooked? Yes, there are the scandals (Trevor was in love with someone else! JerAmey was engaged! Kwame and Chelsea are... still together?). Or maybe it’s the backdoor legal cover-ups (according to one knowledgeable TikTok user: the vetting process is nonsense, producers are suing contestants for breaching NDAs, and any engaged participant who fails to make it to the altar has to pay the studio an alleged $50K). Or, further still, perhaps it’s simply the fact that, due to social media, we can all now follow the contestants in real time, peering voyeuristically into their lives as they unabashedly, and simultaneously, air their dirty laundry on national television. The only thing I think we can all agree is not the culprit for committed viewership is Nick and Vanessa Lachey’s gormless double act.

Alternative theories aside, perhaps the real reasoning behind our collective addiction is far more simple. The Occam's razor of it all, if you will. Perhaps we are all hooked simply because we are sitting here, in partial disbelief, wondering: what the heck is love anyway? Are these people—or any people, for that matter—actually able to “fall in love” without knowing what someone looks like? Is it genuinely possible to commit to a lifelong partnership after a mere 38 days of knowing someone? And, if we are indeed to allow ourselves, as viewers, to believe in this process (or, more shrewdly, allow ourselves to suspend our disbelief), how does this potential “reality” inform our own view of love? After watching this season—and, with it, exploring these theories on my own—I venture to argue the show itself could be retitled: Love Is...?

It doesn’t help that Americans are facing an unprecedented era of isolation and solitude. Commonly referred to as the Loneliness Epidemic, studies over the last two years have shown that Americans—of all ages, races, genders, sexualities, and so on—are far more likely to experience feelings of solitude than ever before. Bearing this disturbing reality in mind, it’s hard to look at a show like Love Is Blind without a more critical eye attuned to unearthing what itch this program is scratching for so many viewers in search of love themselves. Is meeting someone blind the answer to our collective cries of loneliness? Hard to say, yes—but, also foolish to disregard completely at this point.

I do not know exactly why we all keep watching LIB, season in and season out. But, if Unreal’s assertion is to be believed, then one must accept that something about this show is indeed capturing the current cultural milieu. Maybe we all are, in fact, watching in search of a mindless outlet to serve as the salve for adulthood’s ever-increasing stressors. Or perhaps we keep tuning in to further inform our own subjective views of love, partnership, and marriage. Whatever the case, the [not so] cult following is real and, I would go so far as to say, deserved.

Lawsuits, scandals, and in-joke Tweets notwithstanding, you bet we will all be tuning for Season 7 when the time comes. But, in the meantime, onto Love Is Blind Sweden. Though the subtitles are a bit of a beast at first, once you get past that minor literary challenge, you’ll be hooked in no time.

May 2024

Real Americans by Rachel Khong

Real Americans is a beautiful story about identity, class, and more in America. It begins with Lily Chen falling in love with Matthew despite their different backgrounds. She's dealing with being an unpaid intern who's the child of someone who escaped Mao's Cultural Revolution while Matthew is the heir of a successful pharmaceutical company. Nevertheless, they somehow manage to fit together.

But, something happens in between the time they fall in love and the moment Lily's son Nick realizes his mom seems to be keeping something from him. She's never talked about his father and this has only piqued his curiosity even more.

The more he tries to find answers about his dad, the more Nick realizes there's not always a clear path to the past.

April 2024

The Husbands by Holly Gramazio

What if you came home from work one day to discover you're married to a stranger and everyone knows but you? That's exactly what happens to Lauren and it confuses her because she's sure she'd remember getting married. Not only that, but she's apparently been married for a while. Everyone in her life knows and the life around her shows evidence that her marriage isn't a fluke. So why can't she remember it?

The answer to her question lies in the mysterious act that occurs in the attic. For some reason, it's become a place where she 'receives' new husbands and a brand new lifestyle. She starts to enjoy the newness of living different lives, but eventually she wonders if it's possible to find happiness in one of the realities she's being afforded.

March 2024

The Great Divide by Cristina Henríquez

Debuting tomorrow, The Great Divide is a tale about the intersection of lives, compassion, and dedication. Set in Panama, the novel allows readers to form an intimate relationship with Omar, Ada Bunting, and John Oswald as they navigate circumstances that bring them together.

Despite his father's disdain for a new canal that's been commissioned to be built, Omar finds himself among one of the workers tasked with paving the way for it to exist. It's backbreaking work that takes a toll on him, but his weariness is comforted by Ada. Having seen firsthand how Ada cares for those who are fragile or sick, scientist John Oswald immediately enlists her help due to his wife being sick.

The Great Divide sweeps you into it's compassionate arms and has an ending that'll surely make your heart swell.

The House on Mango Street by Sandra Cisneros

To celebrate it's 40th anniversary, Jenna Bush Hager's book club has named The House on Mango Street as it's second pick for March! It's about Esperanza Cordero's desire to define who she is outside of what her Spanish culture has chosen for her. There's moments of sheer bliss that make heart-wrenching recollections easier to stomach, but Esperanza always finds a way to embrace how these things make her who she is.

February 2024

Good Material

Good Material is the new coming-of-age novel for adults who are still trying to figure out if they're adulting properly and revolves a series of events that makes main character Andy feel like he's down on his luck. From watching the breakdown of his longterm relationship to feeling like he's not growing as a comedian, it's clear that Andy is ready to do whatever it takes to become better in the love and career departments. But, is he truly ready to learn his life's lessons and will he be prepared for what happens next?

January 2024

The Waters

Despite Donkey's desire to run free in Whiteheart, her family's past threatens to disrupt that and then some. Will she be able to understand what's threatening the community around her or history repeat itself? Find out when the book releases January 9, 2024.

December 2023

We Must Not Think of Ourselves

#ReadWithJenna announced its December pick yesterday and it's a historical novel that's sure to tug at your heartstrings. We Must Not Think of Ourselves follows Adam Paskow's journey as a Jew held captive by the Nazis. He later finds himself working alongside others who are committed to immortalizing history as it unfolds around them. Not without flaws, Adam unintentionally falls in love with Sala Wiskoff despite the latter being a married mother. This thrusts him into a world filled with complicated choices fueled by the need to survive and love.

Will his choices hinder those he's agreed to help or will he prove that taking risks is necessary for history to move forward? Pick up a copy of We Must Not Think of Ourselves to find out!

November 2023

The Sun Sets in Singapore

To help ring in a new month, Jenna Bush Hager's book club announced its November pick earlier today. Available for purchase tomorrow, The Sun Sets in Singapore introduces us to three women whose paths seem different at first glance. However, each of them have something that's lurking behind initial assumptions. As Dara, Amaka and Lillian find themselves 'lost' in Singapore's paradise, they begin to realize there is a such thing as too much tranquility - especially if it's disguised to hide life-altering truths. Will they be able to confront what they've escaped from or will it continue to follow them like shadows on a summer day?

October 2023

How To Say Babylon

Jenna Bush Hager's October pick is a tale of what happens when toxic traditional views begin to threaten a family's foundation. Young Safiya Sinclair must come to grips with her father's authoritative reign over her family, especially when she realizes her mother's only act of rebellion is making sure her daughters are educated. It's something that Sinclair allows to open her mind and set her free from her father's views.

A Woman Is No Man

Let your curiosity and assumptions about this book's cover introduce you to the journey of Deya. While she has her sights set on going to college and chasing her dreams, her strict grandmother is only concerned about Deya becoming someone's wife. Tradition seems to rule her life, and it's the last thing Deya wants. A random turn of events grants her wish and takes her on a journey of self-discovery where she learns what it means to be a woman whose voice is not only heard, but also respected.

Searching For Sylvie Lee

Families can carry hidden secrets that threaten to undo everything one knows once they begin searching for the truth. And this is exactly what happens when Amy rushes to find out what happened to her older sister Sylvie after her disappearance. With her confidence growing as she draws nearer to the truth, Amy is faced with the difficult task of seeing her family without rose-colored glasses and has to decide what that means for them as well as her.

Nothing to See Here

When Lillian drifts apart from her roommate and eventual friend Madison, she thinks nothing of it. That is until Madison begs her to help her caring for her stepchildren whose irritation manifests as fire. Over time Lillian is able to develop a beautiful relationship with the twins and learns the depths of her love are limitless.

The Girl With The Louding Voice

As she grows up in Nigeria, Adunni longs for a future that looks different from what she's always known. She goes to great lengths to figure out how to do so and this takes her down a path filled with sorrow and faith.

Valentine

When Mary Rose Whitehead finds young Gloria Ramirez on her doorstep, she quickly realizes a vicious act of brutality happened. Unfortunately, justice isn't swift and this leads Whitehead to take matters into her own hand.

A Burning

A Burning takes readers on a tale that intertwines the lives of three different people. Beginning with the public smear campaign of Jivan, readers are then introduced to a gym teacher whose ambitions cloud his judgment and a sweet, yet misunderstood soul who works to clear Jivan's name.

Friends and Strangers

Friends and Strangers follows Elisabeth and Sam as they navigate what it means to show up in the different seasons of their lives. They somehow form an unlikely friendship that's quickly threatened and leads to things that are hard to come back from.

Leaving The World Behind

When Amanda and Clay decide to take a breather from city life with their teenagers, they initially feel they're in for peace and quiet at the rural location they've chosen. Unfortunately for them, the owners of the home they're renting arrive in the middle of the night. It's a tale of wariness that spills over and it's up to the reader to decide if it's warranted or not.

White Ivy

People aren't always what they seem, and Ivy Lin is a prime example of this. She learns how to steal from her grandmother, and she doesn't stop until her mother decides enough is enough. After being sent to China, Ivy grows to become trustworthy and evens bumps into her former crush's sister. But, her past begins to haunt her and she finds out that some things are hard to forget.

What's Mine And Yours

Gee and Noelle's worlds collide when integration brings them together. Behind the scenes we find that their mothers — both with strong opposing views — are doing what they feel is best to prepare their children for a life in America. Each has their own reasoning even if it threatens to erase who their children truly are.

Good Company

Flora Mancini is forced to question the life she and her husband have built when she discovers he didn't actually lose his wedding ring years ago. It's enough to make anyone go mad, but she somehow works to piece together the puzzle to discover the truth and decide how to move forward.

Malibu Rising

Things reach a fever pitch in this tale about family secrets and longing. Each of the Riva siblings have their own ghosts and anticipation to look forward to as their famous summer party draws near. It's only a matter of time before things bubbling underneath the surface burst in front of everyone.

Hell of a Book

Hell of a Book is about an author who's being followed by an imaginary child and a Black boy named Soot. As the past and present collide, Hell of a Book somehow lives up to its name in a reckoning tale.

Bright Burning Things

Bright Burning Things sheds light on a former entertainers love for her son and struggle to part ways with drinking. It's a tale that's familiar to those who have parents who struggle with alcoholism and the pain it often inflicts.

Black Cake

With their mother's cryptic message and a family-long recipe involving black cake looming between them, brothers Byron and Benny must work together to learn more about her history. They also have to find a way to repair their relationship before everything that still ties them together is lost forever. Be sure to read Black Cake before it comes out on Hulu this November!

Remarkably Bright Creatures

Tova Sullivan has suffered two great tragedies in life — the death of her husband and her son's unsolved disappearance. When she befriends an octopus named Marcellus, he becomes determine to help her understand what happened to her son before evidence is completely lost at sea.

Check Out More Titles From Jenna Bush Hager's Book Club:

• The Last Romantics by Tara Conklin
• The Unwinding of the Miracle by Julie-Yip Williams
• Evvie Drake Starts Over by Linda Holmes
• Patsyby Nicole Dennis-Benn
• The Dearly Beloved by Cara Wall
• The Dutch House by Ann Patchett
• Late Migrations by Margret Renkl
• Dear Edward by Ann Napolitano
• Writers & Loversby Lily King
• All Adults Hereby Emma Straub
• The Comebackby Ella Berman
• Here For Itby R. Eric Thomas
• Transcendent Kingdomby Yaa Gyasi
• The Bluest Eyeby Toni Morrison
• Black Buckby Mateo Askaripour
• The Four Windsby Kristin Hannah
• Send For Meby Lauren Fox
• Great Circleby Maggie Shipstead
• The Turnoutby Megan Abbott
• Beautiful Countryby Qian Julie Wang
• The Lincoln Highwayby Amor Towles
• The Familyby Naomi Krupitsky
• The School For Good Mothersby Jessamine Chan
• Groundskeepingby Lee Cole
• Memphisby Tara M. Stringfellow
• These Impossible Thingsby Salma El-Wardany
• The Measureby Nikki Erlick
• The Many Daughters of Afong Moyby Jamie Ford
• Solitoby Javier Zamora
• The Whalebone Theatreby Joanna Quinn
• The Cloistersby Katy Hays
• The Secret Historyby Donna Tartt
• Samby Allegra Goodman
• Maameby Jessica George
• Black Candle Womenby Diane Marie Brown
• Camp Zeroby Michelle Min Sterling
• Chain Gang All Starsby Nana Kwame Adjei-Brenyah
• The Celebrantsby Steven Rowley
• Banyan Moonby Thao Thai
• Summer Sistersby Judy Blume
• Amazing Grade Adamsby Fran Littlewood