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No relationship is quite as complicated or emotionally charged as the one you have with your own mother. One minute you're bonding over a TV show, and the next, she's reminding you to watch your weight. Whether you're besties who talk every single day or you're still healing from old family drama, there's always a way you can grow closer in your relationship.
Building a stronger bond with your mom does not mean you have to agree on everything or have awkward, forced heart-to-hearts every day. It's about understanding each other, clear boundaries, and exercising a lot of patience.
Here are 8 ways to have a better relationship with your mom.
Spend More Time Together
Maybe it's binge-watching Gilmore Girls, playing Scrabble, or going on long walks, but whatever it is, find an activity that you both enjoy so you can spend quality time. Shared activities can help you two grow closer together without forcing deep conversations. Bonding over laughter can say more than words ever could.
Call Just To Talk
We've all been guilty of calling our moms up when we need something (whether it's a quick question or $50). Instead, try calling her every once in a while just to chat and catch up. Ask how her day was or what she's been cooking lately. Showing genuine interest in her life can go a long way.
Let Go Of Old Arguments
The longer you hold onto old grudges, the harder it is to move forward. It is now time to let past arguments go. If there are unresolved issues, bring them up in a calm, respectful manner without dredging up past negative feelings. Frame it as a step toward the future. After talking it out, agree to leave it behind so you can move forward in your relationship. Emotional peace is more important than being right.
Avoid Reacting To Critical Comments
The only thing you can control is how you respond. When your mother makes a critical comment about the way you're living your life, try redirecting the conversation gracefully instead of erupting into a war of words to defend yourself. You can also gently remind her that you are an adult and are capable of making your own decisions.
Accept That Mothers Are Not Perfect
Your mom is her own person, with fears, flaws, and life lessons to learn. She is still figuring things out for herself, and once you realize that, it could really help ease the tension in your relationship. Sometimes, kids create an idealized image of their moms in their heads. But if we don't let go of that image and accept the fact that she's also experiencing life for the first time (meaning she'll probably make some mistakes too), there will only be more disappointment further down the road.
Do Not Expect Her To Do Things For You
As a child, you rely on your mother to do things for you, such as cooking dinner, doing your laundry, and driving you to school. That was all part of the parent/child relationship. Now that you're an adult, don't expect her to do everything for you, like always taking care of the kids at the drop of a hat or doing your grocery shopping. It's nice if she offers her help, but your independence is crucial to maintaining a good relationship.
Show Appreciation
Moms often do a million little things behind the scenes that go unnoticed. Acknowledge the good things your mom has done and continues to do. You can thank her with a handwritten note and flowers. Surely, she will welcome the nice surprise!
Celebrate The Small Moments
You don't need to wait for a big occasion to show your mom some love. It's the small gestures that make life matter most. You could send her a funny video or pick her up for a spontaneous lunch date.
What are your favorite ways to bond with your mom? Let us know on Facebook.
