Now that we’ve fully wrapped our millennial brains around ghosting, a new dating trend has emerged on the scene: stashing. While ghosting refers to the practice of suddenly cutting off all communication with someone you’re seeing (and we’ve gotten so advanced with it that technology will now do it for you), “stashing,” sadly, is something else entirely. And while the term might be new, the practice is probably age-old.
If you and your partner have been dating for a while, you’ve probably shared some important life events with each other. Maybe they’ve come to your friends’ weddings or get-togethers. Perhaps they’ve met your family. These relationship milestones are great ways to move things forward, but if your partner hasn’t reciprocated them, you might be getting stashed.
The essence of stashing is this: Your partner “stashes” you away from their friends and family. It might even mean hiding you from their social media presence as well.
There is a multitude of reasons why someone might stash their partner, but there are some red flags for spotting this practice in action. For one, if you’ve been together for a considerable amount of time and your partner has yet to post anything with you in it on social media but their other pals make frequent appearances, you might be getting stashed.
It’s important to note that stashing might be totally coincidental. For example, your partner may live far away or have an estranged relationship with their family. Or there’s a chance that you haven’t met your partner’s close friends because those friends are truly unavailable or incredibly busy.
But if you feel like your partner is making a concerted effort to keep you from the other parts of their life, you might be in the unfortunate stashee position. You can be pretty sure you’re getting stashed when you haven’t met or heard of anyone important in your partner’s life and know that these people know nothing about you. There are reasons why your partner might treat you this way — trouble with an ex, for example — but don’t let yourself fall victim to this behavior.
For starters, you can be honest and bring it up directly to your partner. If you truly suspect that your S.O. is hiding you from their friends and family, there’s probably a rational explanation why. During this conversation, these factors will probably come to light. If your partner is shady about the reasons behind the stashing or makes you feel guilty about questioning them, it might be time to move on to someone who will do the opposite: Show you off for all you’re worth!
What would you do in this position? Let us know @BritandCo!
(Photo via Getty)