We’re not saying romance is dead… but if it is, surely the invention of cell phones was the final nail in the coffin. If you couldn’t think fast enough to give that terrible Tinder date a fake number (or be honest and tell them it’s not working), you probably cringed knowing there’d be some unwanted texts coming your way in the future. And then there’s our biggest pet peeve: the “U up?” text from some guy you’ve been seeing casually, but who won’t define whatever you’re doing any further than “we’re talking.”

If you’re the victim of a blatant booty call, take a breath, roll your eyes and hit ’em with one of these clever responses. Then you’re free to focus on crafting the perfect first move for the next guy.

woman texting on bed

1. “U really doing this?”

2. “No. I’m up, but… no.”

3. “I’m sorry, your booty call cannot be completed as dialed.”

4. “Oh, I stay up all night every night, writing our names and drawing hearts around them in my notebook. Why, what’s up?”

5. “Sorry, I canceled my Netflix and Chill account.”

6. “I want to respond, but I can’t think of anything to text you that won’t get me flagged by the NSA.”

7. “I used to be like you. Staying up all night, responding to ‘U up?’ texts. But ever since I tried new Vicks ZzzQuil, I sleep right through that bullsh*t! Try Vicks ZzzQuil and delete my number today!”

8. “You know, there was a time when a man would have to write an entire sonnet before a woman would even look at him.”

9. “I can’t wait until Hillary’s president and late-night texts from lame dudes are illegal.”

10. “Unsubscribe.”

What’s the best reply you’ve ever written for an unwanted text? Tweet us yours @BritandCo!

(Featured photo via Getty)