This Is Why Millennials Have Quarter-Life Crises

Is a career coach really worth it?

I believe everyone needs and deserves a career coach.

We spend 1/3 of our lives at work — sometimes more — and usually don’t have formal guidance on how to navigate our transitions and limiting beliefs throughout.

I'm often asked about the difference between a therapist and a coach, and how to choose between them. My simplest answer is that therapists focus on how your past has influenced your current situation, while coaches guide you from the present to where you want to be in the future.

Here’s a non-exhaustive cheat sheet to know if a career coach is right for you:

• You’re unhappy with your current job but have no idea what you would do next.
• You're navigating limiting beliefs in your current role that are holding you back.
• You struggle to accomplish goals that you care about.
• You are navigating a challenging situation with a coworker.
• You want to develop yourself as a leader, either in your own company or within your organization.
• You want to discover your purpose to make the most of your time on this planet.

What should you expect from a career coach?

I remember my coach telling me early on that a leader is anyone who can share a vision of the future that’s so inspiring, someone wants to follow them there. With this definition I see us all as leaders — whether in the traditional, professional sense or simply in leading our own lives and being in relationships with others.

While I can't predict what every career coach can offer, here are the 10 lessons that completely changed the way I lead, plus 10 questions you can use to reflect and integrate these lessons into your daily life:

These lessons will help you:

• Be the leader of your own life journey
• Lead with care and clarity
• Make genuine connections
• Realize that becoming a leader is a fast track to personal growth

1. Trust is built in a context of care

Whether it’s with people you work with, or in your personal life, make what you care about known — needs, wants, desires, values. You can’t expect someone else to know them if you don’t clearly communicate them. And, make sure you make it known that you want to know theirs, too.

2. Riots start in the stands

There are 2 types of people: the people on the field, and the people in the stands. Find the people who want to be on the field with you. Rolling up their sleeves and doing the work — this might be at work in the trenches of your start up or in a romantic relationship. You won’t get far if you’re on the field alone surrounded by people in the stands.

3. We live in a mirroring reality

Our external reality is a projection of our inner reality. When we offer kindness and compassion, we receive kindness and compassion. When we offer criticism or judgment, we receive that, too.

4. Curiosity is the emergency break to judgment

If your “mood elevator” is falling, curiosity is the fast track to lift it. In these moments, you can say something like: I notice I’m being judgmental, I wonder what that’s about? Then start to list things that have come up for you that you’re reacting to. Maybe you spent a little too much time on social media, or a colleague cut you off while you were talking and suddenly you’re in a reactive state. This is human. Use curiosity to get back on track.

5. Clarity is kindness.

Being clear and direct with others is a way to show respect and consideration. Ambiguity can create stress and uncertainty, but when we are clear we give others a sense of stability. This is a form of kindness. And if you feel unclear, communicate that and see where it goes.

6. Being someone’s fan is > anything else.

Sadly, we live in a culture where people get more attention for spewing their criticism at each other publicly than when we lift each other up. Seeing people tear each other down, whether it’s on social media, in relationships, or during meetings breaks my heart. Especially, when I’ve seen without fail, the positive impact offering admiration and support has on someone’s confidence and overall growth.

While I don’t blame people for the system that has normalized this behavior, I urge us all to do what we can to break free from it and do the inner work to heal our insecurities and fears, and celebrate each other’s unique gifts.

7. You can’t work harder for someone than they can for themselves.

“Help 49%” is something a mentor said to me a long time ago. As a leader, I’ve learned this time and time again. You can’t want something for someone that they don’t intrinsically want for themselves.

This applies to every type of relationship we have, both professionally and personally. You can’t help someone until they decided that growth is their priority. It’s up to you if you want to stick around patiently during that time or move on.

8. Love is allowing the other person — and yourself — to be whole.

This one really is about accepting and seeing people for who they are, not what we want them to be. As a leader, I try to see each person I work with as a whole, unique being and accept them fully as that person. Which means it’s my job to make sure I am not projecting onto them the person I want them to be as they grow.

The root of this wisdom lies in attachment theory, and while this line of thinking is usually strictly applied to romantic relationships, I think it’s useful for all relation aspects of our lives.

9. If you need to win every fight, then you’ll be surrounded by people who are always defeated.

I often say the only competition anyone should be in is with themselves. The ego trap I’ve seen many people fall into, when choosing a romantic partner or building out their team, is subconsciously choosing people they can feel important or powerful around versus challenged by.

10. People need to be pointed to their own resiliency.

It’s fascinating to me how easily people forget their own capacity and strength. We have and continue to overcome a great deal as humans in this lifetime.

Turning your hobby into a career can take a little trial and error, a lot of resilience, and some good business sense. TurboTax can help you make your moves count so you can focus on what you do best! Whether TurboTax experts prepare your tax return or you do it yourself, they guarantee their calculations are always 100 percent accurate, or they’ll pay any penalties.

If you’re a creative person looking to take your hobby to the next level, here are tips for getting started and growing your business.

Choose your focus: Before Steffy started focusing on the DIY aspect of her business, her niche was in fashion, mostly vintage fashion, which helped her build a following who loved her aesthetic. “My first big win was I booked a blog a month with a major fashion brand. It was the first time I realized that big companies are paying attention to people on the Internet,” says Steffy. “Over time, working with brands just legitimized what I was doing and made me feel like, yes, this is fun, and yes, this is something that is still a hobby, but also there's a future in it as my business.”

Set clear goals: Define your career goals – actually write them down – and create a roadmap for achieving them. Set short-term and long-term goals that are SMART: specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound. Set reasonable dates for achieving those goals and stick to them!

Create a personal brand: Establishing a strong personal brand that feels unique to you and your target audience can help you stand out in a crowded space. Make sure it’s clear what you do from your branding and what services you offer.

Develop a business mindset: Brush up on budgeting, marketing, sales, and customer service to understand how best to monetize your passion. “My first challenge was tax wise,” says Steffy. After getting hit with a big tax bill at the end of year, Steffy realized that she had to pay quarterly taxes as a freelancer to avoid hefty fees. “When you work for yourself, you're thinking you're making all this income, but really a lot of it goes back to the state and the government, and you have to really be on top of that.” TurboTax experts can help you determine all of your deductions as a freelancer and entrepreneur while helping you get your max refund.

Scale wisely: Do you invest in hiring help or do you stay small? That’s a question solopreneurs often struggle with. “I hit a certain point where I realized that I did need help. I'm still working through what that help looks like. I have a part-time employee, but I always grapple with whether I need more hours and more hands on deck,” says Steffy. Balance your creative life by contracting out the responsibilities that take up a lot of your time and that you don’t necessarily enjoy doing. Wearing too many hats can take away from your talents and lead to burnout so get help when you need it, like tax time, but choose wisely where you invest your time and money.

Adapt as you grow: Once you start to gain traction, adjust and adapt your business plan to suit your growing needs. “I was already doing DIY projects behind the scenes, but I just thought, it's not my niche. People won't be interested in this,” says Steffy about transitioning her fashion-focused brand to her other hobbies. “Then I filmed one video of DIY, peel-and-stick wallpaper, and it went viral. That's what made me realize that maybe people do come to me for my fashion, but that my fashion sense trickles down into all aspects of my life, including how I decorate.” That led Steffy to eventually writing a home decor book A Home for Every Season. “It just shifted my business completely,” she says.

Connect with other creatives: Being a solopreneur can be lonely. You have friends and family but they may not understand your business struggles. That’s where a creative community comes in. “A community definitely helps even just to have comradery and bounce ideas off of each other,” says Steffy, who often shares content with other influencers. “We're all on the Internet and then getting together and creating content and sharing it, it definitely helps lift everyone up.”

Consistently show up. Consistency is key to building a following and accomplishing your goals. “The biggest tip I would have is to just get up and do it every day,” says Steffy. “You have to have a strong foundation yourself to grow and just keep coming up with new ideas and trying new things and just showing up, not necessarily every day, but a few times a week, for your audience and trying to inspire them and be creative.”

Photos: Courtesy of Steffy.

Running a business or thinking about starting one? Make your moves count with TurboTax!*

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May 2024

Real Americans by Rachel Khong

Real Americans is a beautiful story about identity, class, and more in America. It begins with Lily Chen falling in love with Matthew despite their different backgrounds. She's dealing with being an unpaid intern who's the child of someone who escaped Mao's Cultural Revolution while Matthew is the heir of a successful pharmaceutical company. Nevertheless, they somehow manage to fit together.

But, something happens in between the time they fall in love and the moment Lily's son Nick realizes his mom seems to be keeping something from him. She's never talked about his father and this has only piqued his curiosity even more.

The more he tries to find answers about his dad, the more Nick realizes there's not always a clear path to the past.

April 2024

The Husbands by Holly Gramazio

What if you came home from work one day to discover you're married to a stranger and everyone knows but you? That's exactly what happens to Lauren and it confuses her because she's sure she'd remember getting married. Not only that, but she's apparently been married for a while. Everyone in her life knows and the life around her shows evidence that her marriage isn't a fluke. So why can't she remember it?

The answer to her question lies in the mysterious act that occurs in the attic. For some reason, it's become a place where she 'receives' new husbands and a brand new lifestyle. She starts to enjoy the newness of living different lives, but eventually she wonders if it's possible to find happiness in one of the realities she's being afforded.

March 2024

The Great Divide by Cristina Henríquez

Debuting tomorrow, The Great Divide is a tale about the intersection of lives, compassion, and dedication. Set in Panama, the novel allows readers to form an intimate relationship with Omar, Ada Bunting, and John Oswald as they navigate circumstances that bring them together.

Despite his father's disdain for a new canal that's been commissioned to be built, Omar finds himself among one of the workers tasked with paving the way for it to exist. It's backbreaking work that takes a toll on him, but his weariness is comforted by Ada. Having seen firsthand how Ada cares for those who are fragile or sick, scientist John Oswald immediately enlists her help due to his wife being sick.

The Great Divide sweeps you into it's compassionate arms and has an ending that'll surely make your heart swell.

The House on Mango Street by Sandra Cisneros

To celebrate it's 40th anniversary, Jenna Bush Hager's book club has named The House on Mango Street as it's second pick for March! It's about Esperanza Cordero's desire to define who she is outside of what her Spanish culture has chosen for her. There's moments of sheer bliss that make heart-wrenching recollections easier to stomach, but Esperanza always finds a way to embrace how these things make her who she is.

February 2024

Good Material

Good Material is the new coming-of-age novel for adults who are still trying to figure out if they're adulting properly and revolves a series of events that makes main character Andy feel like he's down on his luck. From watching the breakdown of his longterm relationship to feeling like he's not growing as a comedian, it's clear that Andy is ready to do whatever it takes to become better in the love and career departments. But, is he truly ready to learn his life's lessons and will he be prepared for what happens next?

January 2024

The Waters

Despite Donkey's desire to run free in Whiteheart, her family's past threatens to disrupt that and then some. Will she be able to understand what's threatening the community around her or history repeat itself? Find out when the book releases January 9, 2024.

December 2023

We Must Not Think of Ourselves

#ReadWithJenna announced its December pick yesterday and it's a historical novel that's sure to tug at your heartstrings. We Must Not Think of Ourselves follows Adam Paskow's journey as a Jew held captive by the Nazis. He later finds himself working alongside others who are committed to immortalizing history as it unfolds around them. Not without flaws, Adam unintentionally falls in love with Sala Wiskoff despite the latter being a married mother. This thrusts him into a world filled with complicated choices fueled by the need to survive and love.

Will his choices hinder those he's agreed to help or will he prove that taking risks is necessary for history to move forward? Pick up a copy of We Must Not Think of Ourselves to find out!

November 2023

The Sun Sets in Singapore

To help ring in a new month, Jenna Bush Hager's book club announced its November pick earlier today. Available for purchase tomorrow, The Sun Sets in Singapore introduces us to three women whose paths seem different at first glance. However, each of them have something that's lurking behind initial assumptions. As Dara, Amaka and Lillian find themselves 'lost' in Singapore's paradise, they begin to realize there is a such thing as too much tranquility - especially if it's disguised to hide life-altering truths. Will they be able to confront what they've escaped from or will it continue to follow them like shadows on a summer day?

October 2023

How To Say Babylon

Jenna Bush Hager's October pick is a tale of what happens when toxic traditional views begin to threaten a family's foundation. Young Safiya Sinclair must come to grips with her father's authoritative reign over her family, especially when she realizes her mother's only act of rebellion is making sure her daughters are educated. It's something that Sinclair allows to open her mind and set her free from her father's views.

A Woman Is No Man

Let your curiosity and assumptions about this book's cover introduce you to the journey of Deya. While she has her sights set on going to college and chasing her dreams, her strict grandmother is only concerned about Deya becoming someone's wife. Tradition seems to rule her life, and it's the last thing Deya wants. A random turn of events grants her wish and takes her on a journey of self-discovery where she learns what it means to be a woman whose voice is not only heard, but also respected.

Searching For Sylvie Lee

Families can carry hidden secrets that threaten to undo everything one knows once they begin searching for the truth. And this is exactly what happens when Amy rushes to find out what happened to her older sister Sylvie after her disappearance. With her confidence growing as she draws nearer to the truth, Amy is faced with the difficult task of seeing her family without rose-colored glasses and has to decide what that means for them as well as her.

Nothing to See Here

When Lillian drifts apart from her roommate and eventual friend Madison, she thinks nothing of it. That is until Madison begs her to help her caring for her stepchildren whose irritation manifests as fire. Over time Lillian is able to develop a beautiful relationship with the twins and learns the depths of her love are limitless.

The Girl With The Louding Voice

As she grows up in Nigeria, Adunni longs for a future that looks different from what she's always known. She goes to great lengths to figure out how to do so and this takes her down a path filled with sorrow and faith.

Valentine

When Mary Rose Whitehead finds young Gloria Ramirez on her doorstep, she quickly realizes a vicious act of brutality happened. Unfortunately, justice isn't swift and this leads Whitehead to take matters into her own hand.

A Burning

A Burning takes readers on a tale that intertwines the lives of three different people. Beginning with the public smear campaign of Jivan, readers are then introduced to a gym teacher whose ambitions cloud his judgment and a sweet, yet misunderstood soul who works to clear Jivan's name.

Friends and Strangers

Friends and Strangers follows Elisabeth and Sam as they navigate what it means to show up in the different seasons of their lives. They somehow form an unlikely friendship that's quickly threatened and leads to things that are hard to come back from.

Leaving The World Behind

When Amanda and Clay decide to take a breather from city life with their teenagers, they initially feel they're in for peace and quiet at the rural location they've chosen. Unfortunately for them, the owners of the home they're renting arrive in the middle of the night. It's a tale of wariness that spills over and it's up to the reader to decide if it's warranted or not.

White Ivy

People aren't always what they seem, and Ivy Lin is a prime example of this. She learns how to steal from her grandmother, and she doesn't stop until her mother decides enough is enough. After being sent to China, Ivy grows to become trustworthy and evens bumps into her former crush's sister. But, her past begins to haunt her and she finds out that some things are hard to forget.

What's Mine And Yours

Gee and Noelle's worlds collide when integration brings them together. Behind the scenes we find that their mothers — both with strong opposing views — are doing what they feel is best to prepare their children for a life in America. Each has their own reasoning even if it threatens to erase who their children truly are.

Good Company

Flora Mancini is forced to question the life she and her husband have built when she discovers he didn't actually lose his wedding ring years ago. It's enough to make anyone go mad, but she somehow works to piece together the puzzle to discover the truth and decide how to move forward.

Malibu Rising

Things reach a fever pitch in this tale about family secrets and longing. Each of the Riva siblings have their own ghosts and anticipation to look forward to as their famous summer party draws near. It's only a matter of time before things bubbling underneath the surface burst in front of everyone.

Hell of a Book

Hell of a Book is about an author who's being followed by an imaginary child and a Black boy named Soot. As the past and present collide, Hell of a Book somehow lives up to its name in a reckoning tale.

Bright Burning Things

Bright Burning Things sheds light on a former entertainers love for her son and struggle to part ways with drinking. It's a tale that's familiar to those who have parents who struggle with alcoholism and the pain it often inflicts.

Black Cake

With their mother's cryptic message and a family-long recipe involving black cake looming between them, brothers Byron and Benny must work together to learn more about her history. They also have to find a way to repair their relationship before everything that still ties them together is lost forever. Be sure to read Black Cake before it comes out on Hulu this November!

Remarkably Bright Creatures

Tova Sullivan has suffered two great tragedies in life — the death of her husband and her son's unsolved disappearance. When she befriends an octopus named Marcellus, he becomes determine to help her understand what happened to her son before evidence is completely lost at sea.

Check Out More Titles From Jenna Bush Hager's Book Club:

• The Last Romantics by Tara Conklin
• The Unwinding of the Miracle by Julie-Yip Williams
• Evvie Drake Starts Over by Linda Holmes
• Patsyby Nicole Dennis-Benn
• The Dearly Beloved by Cara Wall
• The Dutch House by Ann Patchett
• Late Migrations by Margret Renkl
• Dear Edward by Ann Napolitano
• Writers & Loversby Lily King
• All Adults Hereby Emma Straub
• The Comebackby Ella Berman
• Here For Itby R. Eric Thomas
• Transcendent Kingdomby Yaa Gyasi
• The Bluest Eyeby Toni Morrison
• Black Buckby Mateo Askaripour
• The Four Windsby Kristin Hannah
• Send For Meby Lauren Fox
• Great Circleby Maggie Shipstead
• The Turnoutby Megan Abbott
• Beautiful Countryby Qian Julie Wang
• The Lincoln Highwayby Amor Towles
• The Familyby Naomi Krupitsky
• The School For Good Mothersby Jessamine Chan
• Groundskeepingby Lee Cole
• Memphisby Tara M. Stringfellow
• These Impossible Thingsby Salma El-Wardany
• The Measureby Nikki Erlick
• The Many Daughters of Afong Moyby Jamie Ford
• Solitoby Javier Zamora
• The Whalebone Theatreby Joanna Quinn
• The Cloistersby Katy Hays
• The Secret Historyby Donna Tartt
• Samby Allegra Goodman
• Maameby Jessica George
• Black Candle Womenby Diane Marie Brown
• Camp Zeroby Michelle Min Sterling
• Chain Gang All Starsby Nana Kwame Adjei-Brenyah
• The Celebrantsby Steven Rowley
• Banyan Moonby Thao Thai
• Summer Sistersby Judy Blume
• Amazing Grade Adamsby Fran Littlewood