What It’s Like to Meet With a Life Coach

Problematic Message: Love is the most exciting when it’s forbidden.

Even if you haven’t seen the romantic comedy, you’ve definitely seen the GIFs: Andrew Lincoln, playing Mark, professing his love for Keira Knightley’s character through handwritten signs, one of which reads the famous line, “To me, you are perfect.” Yes, it’s ultra-romantic — until you look a little closer. “Although we all love an honest display of love, making a play and expressing your love for your best friend’s wife is not a good start for a relationship, on or off screen,” Tcharkhoutian says.

And the most harmful part of these fictional narratives is that they only show a fraction, if any, of the fallout. “This is a toxic dynamic that devalues the dignity of marriage and romanticizes the idea of being in love with someone who is ‘off-limits,’ without portraying the harsh realities of this kind of basis for a relationship,” Tcharkhoutian explains.

Problematic Message: A relationship that began with ulterior motives can become healthy and functional.

There’s no denying that Kate Hudson and Matthew McConaughey are a dreamy pair, but in this movie, their relationship is a nightmare. Their quick rise to love is certainly entertaining, but the foundation of their relationship makes it impossible to exist outside of fiction.

The two meet as means to prove themselves at their respective jobs, and in true rom-com fashion, their supposedly real feelings take off from there. Tcharkhoutian cautions against this behavior in real life. “This can set up a relationship to be something in which a person is objectified as a vehicle to help you meet your needs, instead of a mutual union and partnership with pure and honest motives of loving each other through thick and thin,” she says.

Lucy and Jack in "While You Were Sleeping"

Problematic Message: Falling in love with the idea of someone can result in a happy ending.

No one can resist a Sandra Bullock romantic comedy, so it’s no surprise this movie is still revered as a classic of the genre. It has all the necessary components: an unrealistic plot (she saves a man’s life, is confused for his fiancée by his family, and then falls in love with his brother while he’s in a coma — like, come on!), a handsome boy-next-door lead and, of course, love. However, much like the relationship in How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, the foundation is faulty.

Falling in love with the idea of someone, as Sandra Bullock’s character does, doesn’t equate to falling in love with the actual person, Tcharkhoutian clarifies, and to start a relationship with this basis in real life is ill-advised.

Problematic Message: True love lies in the next adventure, which is far from your hometown and your past relationship.

Who hasn’t dreamt of traveling to a foreign country; staying in a cozy, remote cottage; and falling in love with someone even half as good-looking as Jude Law? Well, there’s a reason it’s a mere fantasy. Tcharkhoutian describes the phenomenon in The Holiday movie as escapism — the idea that you need to escape from your day-to-day life to find true happiness or, in this case, true love.

Although it’s fun to dream, if taken too far, this particular romantic comedy mentality can lead to irrational expectations. “This escapism mentality can create a false belief that international [relationships] are sustainable in the long-term,” Tcharkhoutian remarks. “True healthy relationships survive and thrive in the everyday, mundane routine, not in the exciting international adventure that depends on thrill and distance.”

Which rom-com couples stay together?

However, there are PLENTY of romantic comedy relationships we love! Some of our favorites include Nick and Rachel in Crazy Rich Asians, Matty and Jenna in 13 Going on 30, Harry and Sally in Meg Ryan's When Harry Met Sally, Elle and Emmett in Legally Blonde, and Peter and Lara Jean in To All The Boys I've Loved Before.

Words of Affirmation

If you’re like Dr. Lewis, your love language means that you need verbal validation from your partner. “If I’m in a dating relationship, I need someone to validate what I’m feeling and how our relationship is going,” he said.

Acts of Service

People whose love language is acts of service cherish the idea that actions speak louder than words. They notice when you help them with little tasks like taking the trash out or cleaning a shared space.

Receiving Gifts

If your love language is receiving gifts, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you just like material things; for some people, a gift is a physical manifestation of what your relationship means to them.

Quality Time

Take notice if your partner’s love language is quality time: It means that they care deeply about having your undivided attention. That’s not to say that you have to spend a lot of time with them — it simply means that to them, your time together is precious.

Physical Touch

Snugglers and huggers, unite! People whose love language is touch thrive on positive physical interaction.

Knowing your love language is important, but Dr. Lewis says that it’s even more important to be able to communicate it with your partner.

“Your love language is what’s meaningful for you, and once you find that, you have to help your partner understand it,” he said.

Want in on what the five love languages can offer? Read about them here, then take the online 5 love languages quiz to figure out which one fits your relationship style best.

What is Taylor Swift's The Tortured Poets Department?

Taylor Swift's new album (which is also referred to as TS11) is called The Tortured Poets Department. Taylor Swift announced the album while accepting the award for Best Pop Album at the 2024 Grammys. While we don't know the exact vibe of the album, over the last year, we've gotten quite a few clues about what we can expect! Just like "Daylight" at the end of Lover sets up Midnights, I think "Dear Reader" sets up The Tortured Poets Department.

Taylor's official announcement features beautiful language that evokes the same emotion "The Lakes" does, which makes me believe TTPD will be similar to Folklore and Evermore (maybe it'll even serve as the third sister album Swifties thought we'd get in 2021?). Some fans are also convinced TTPD connects to Reputation, and TBH, I'm hopping on this train!

"I think the two albums are sisters albums, but in like an opposite way," one Reddit user says. "Reputation is all black, this one is going to be all white and softly coded."

"Reputation is presented as a dark album but is truly a love album," another user comments. "This one is presented as soft and white but I bet the lyrics will be devastating."

I'm expecting TS11 to have the same lyrical prowess as songs like "Would've, Should've, Could've," The National's "The Alcott" (on which Taylor's a featured artist), and "You're Losing Me." Taylor is all about looking past appearances and telling a complex story, and The Tortured Poets Department will be no different. Just like Reputation is an edgy, glittery, emotionally-charged version of the beginning of her relationship with ex-boyfriend Joe Alwyn, I totally agree that TTPD could look grounded, airbrushed, and dreamy from the outside, but the lyrics will be SAD.

There's also been some discussion that TS11 could be another pop album that's even more nuanced than Midnights. Well, during her Eras Tour show in Sydney, Australia she played yet another round of suspicious surprise songs. While sitting at the piano, Taylor Swift takes her earpiece out and calls attention to the keyboard. "Do you hear that?" she says (via TikTok). "My damn keyboard's playing a synth sound." She then does what she almost always does when dropping an Easter egg: she smirks.

"That sound is how the album starts, mark my words," one comment reads. Another says, "That smirk tells me everything I need to know."

When is The Tortured Poets Department release date?

The Tortured Poets Department is dropping April 19, 2024. But on February 16, an artist by the name of Nils Sjöberg posted a song titled "The Tortured Poets Department." You might be wondering, "Why is this noteworthy? Who's Nils?" Nils Sjöberg is the pseudonym Taylor Swift has been using for over 10 years! With the fake name, she's written hits like "This Is What You Came For" by Rihanna, so when the title track of TS11 popped up on Spotify, it didn't take long for Swifties to notice.

The singer's voice sounds like it could be an auto-tuned version of Taylor's, but admittedly, it could also be AI. With the recent advancements in audio AI, some tracks from The Tortured Poets Department have supposedly leaked online, but we'll have to wait until April 19th to hear what the album *actually* sounds like. Either way, Nils' song is a fun one to listen to!

At the Eras Tour shows in Tokyo, Taylor Swift explained when she started working on TTPD. “I’ve been working on Tortured Poets since right after I turned in Midnights,” she said onstage. “So, you turn in an album months in advance…and I’ve been working on it for about two years. I kept working on it throughout the U.S. tour and when it was perfect, in my opinion, when it was good enough for you, I finished it.”

"Soon you'll get to hear it, soon we'll get to experience it together," she continued. "I'm over the moon about the fact that you guys care about my music...Everyone’s like, ‘Why do you make so many albums?’ And I’m like, ‘Man, because I love it! I love it so much! I’m having fun, leave me alone.'”

The brand new album follows Speak Now (Taylor's Version) and 1989 (Taylor's Version). When Midnights was announced after Fearless (Taylor's Version) and Red (Taylor's Version), I wondered whether she'd have a two rerecordings, one new album pattern and it looks like that's what we're getting!

How do I presave The Tortured Poets Department?

Before The Tortured Poets Department's release on at midnight on April 19 (we're less than a month away!), go ahead and pre-save it. It'll make streaming the album a little bit easier because when you pre-save, the album will pop up for you as soon as it drops! Go to Taylor Swift's official website and click on the "Pre-add/Pre-save" button. It'll take you to a new page where you can save it on Spotify or Apple Music (depending on which service you use), and you can also pre-order at stores like Target!

How many songs will be on The Tortured Poets Department?

Taylor Swift dropped The Tortured Poets Department song list February 5, and we already have theories about what each track could reference. IMO, "I Can Do It With A Broken Heart" is totally referencing Taylor Swift's performances of "Lover" following her split from Joe Alwyn (you can see her crying during the set), while there's a good chance "Florida!!!" is referencing her first Tampa concert, which was the first show she performed after the breakup became public knowledge. Taylor Swift's dad Scott Swift recently told fans he's most excited for Swifties to hear the title track and "Florida!!!" Here's the full tracklist for TS11:

1. Fortnight (feat. Post Malone)
2. The Tortured Poets Department
3. My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys
4. Down Bad
5. So Long, London
6. But Daddy I Love Him
7. Fresh Out the Slammer
8. Florida!!! (feat. Florence + The Machine)
9. Guilty as Sin?
10. Who's Afraid of Little Old Me?
11. I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)
12. loml
13. I Can Do It With A Broken Heart
14. The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived
15. The Alchemy
16. Clara Bow
17. Bonus Track: The Manuscript
18. Bonus Track: The Bolter
19. Bonus Track: The Albatross
20. Bonus Track: The Black Dog

Will The Tortured Poets Department be explicit?

There are 7 explicit songs on The Tortured Poets Department: "The Tortured Poets Department," "Down Bad," "But Daddy I Love Him," "Florida!!! (feat. Florence + The Machine)," "loml," "I Can Do It With A Broken Heart," and "The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived."

What is The Albatross about?

During one of her Eras Tour shows in Sydney, Australia, Taylor Swift announced a new version of The Tortured Poets Department featuring exclusive bonus track "The Albatross." This new album already has some crazy track titles — all with pretty noteworthy meanings.

According to Collins Dictionary, if you call someone an Albatross, "they cause you great problems from which you cannot escape, or they prevent you from doing what you want to do," while a Bolter could refer to someone bolting out of a relationship (or bolting from a restaurant to a car like in this viral clip 🤨).

Meanwhile "The Alchemy" refers to the continual process of trying to turn something into gold — remember how Taylor Swift spent 6 years saying her relationship with Joe Alwyn was golden? Buckle up Swifties, TS11 is going to be a wild ride.

What does loml mean?

At first glance, the twelfth song on The Tortured Poets Department, "loml," means "love of my life." Some fans were wondering if the song was a nod to Harry Styles since his Harry's House finale track is "Love of My Life" (the album also features a track named "Daylight" which is another funny connection to Taylor Swift). But Bonnie & Emily from ChatsAndReacts have got me thinking about the track in a whole new way.

Emily says that while Taylor might sing about the love of her life at the beginning of the song, she also has the potential to switch it up each verse. "Lie of my life" and "loss of my life" are HEART WRENCHING, and totally something Taylor would write.

How can I buy The Tortured Poets Department?

You can pre-order a bunch of different versions of The Tortured Poets Department on Taylor Swift's website right now, includingThe Tortured Poets Department CD + Bonus Track "The Manuscript", The Tortured Poets Department CD + Bonus Track "The Manuscript" andThe Tortured Poets Department Cassette + Bonus Track "The Manuscript".

What is a tortured poets department?

Taylor Swift has spent years talking about her anxiety, her sleepless nights, and her emotions. "My muses, acquired like bruises / My talismans and charms / The tick, tick, tick of love bombs / My veins of pitch black ink," she writes in her official Instagram post. "All's fair in love and poetry." My guess is that The Tortured Poets Department features a bunch of artists who all feel very deeply and have a similar ethereal, larger-than-life approach to their music.

As far as the name, it looks like The Tortured Poets Department could be referencing her ex-boyfriend Joe Alwyn's group chat name — "The Tortured Man Club" with Paul Mescal (who starred in Normal People while Joe starred Conversations With Friends. Both series are based on Sally Rooney books).

Will The Tortured Poets Department have any featured artists?

Yes, The Tortured Poets Department will feature Florence + The Machine on the song "Florida!!!" and Post Malone on the song "Fortnight." And after Taylor Swift teased a variety of collaborations by posting handwritten lyrics from artists like Harry Styles and Lorde, Swifties are wondering if The Tortured Poets Department will be the "collab album" we never got.

Another clue that leads me to believe this is true is the fact that the title of this album is so much longer than her other titles — and she refers to herself as "Chairman" of the department. Who are all the constituents?! Are they all the same artists who left Scooter Braun's management last year? Only time will tell, because as far as I'm concerned, surprises aren't out of the question until the TS11 era is over!👀

What is the theory of Taylor Swift's double album?

Throughout her stay in Sydney, Australia for the Eras Tour, Taylor Swift has been dropping lots — and I mean lots — of twos. @v_swiftie_ points out that in addition to holding up the number two while announcing The Tortured Poets Department, she's been playing more surprise song mashups than normal, and Taylor Nation has been posting Instagram stories featuring the number 2 instead of the number 13. Suspicious, Tay, very suspicious.