Why We Shouldn’t Automatically Assume Men Aren’t Romantic

Alli Hoff Kosik
Aug 19, 2018

If you take your cues about love and relationships from books, TV, and movies, you probably believe that women tend to be more romantic than men. Pop culture typically paints a picture of guys who are resistant to commitment, wait until the last possible moment to make a big gesture of love to a potential S.O., and scoff at the fairy tale ideal. As a result, many of us don’t give dudes a lot of credit in the romance department. According to data from dating giant Match, though, we might be selling men short.

Per the results of Match’s 2018 Singles in America survey which looked at responses from 5,000 singles across the US, single men have been in love an average of four times, while single women have been in love an average of three times. Men are also slightly more likely than women to say that they’ve imagined a future together on a first date (51 percent of men copped to this, compared to 49 percent of women). And if a BFFs-turned-life-partners plotline is one of your favorite rom-com tropes, you may also be interested to know that 33 percent of men say that a friends with benefits relationship has turned into a long-term committed relationship for them IRL. Just 23 percent of the women surveyed say the same.

According to Laurel House, dating empowerment coach and Match dating expert, much of our widespread misunderstanding about romance across gender lines is rooted in the way we think about — wait for it — multitasking.

“When someone is distracted, romance tends to be ignored,” House tells us. “Because women are known and shown as better multitaskers, we are naturally more capable of injecting romantic thoughts into the middle of an otherwise work-oriented day. That being said, when men do decide to merge their heads and hearts to think about something romantic to do for their love, it can be extremely thoughtful, detailed, and unique.”

These misperceptions about men can do more than simply cause us to make an incorrect prediction about the end of a chick flick. They can also set us up for unfair assumptions about potential partners and significant others, which can have big consequences in relationships.

“Often, what we assume and expect comes true,” House says. “If you go into the relationship expecting that you are going to be the romantic one, you might just be setting the tone and expectation.”

If you are dating a man whom you don’t expect to be romantic but are craving that romance anyway, you’ll probably take the reins with candlelit dinners and midday sexy texts. In doing so, you may rob him of the opportunity to show his own romantic side. Assuming romance is important to both of you, you need to create space for both of you to show up that way so you can minimize disappointment and maximize the good, loving vibes.

“Be the example of your expectations,” House suggests. “Do things that put him in a romantic mood, and he will then start thinking about how he can reciprocate.”

If the Singles in America survey is any indication, the problem isn’t that men are incapable of romance. Creating a spark might be as simple as letting your guy know that he’s free to make those gestures as often as he wants. Because — let’s be honest — it would be pretty great if he did.

What is your favorite way to be romantic? Tweet us @BritandCo!

(Photo via Getty)

Your Weekly Horoscope Reading For May 13-19 Is Full Of Luck

Life can be a dream, depending on how you make sound and conscious decisions. The changing of the seasons always has an ending and a new beginning, very much like how we experience life. We must cross that threshold of endings to purify and enter the bliss of renewal. The fear of the unknown quite often holds us back from achieving happiness. Luckily, when you learn to become in sync with the stars, you can learn to live more in the present and steer yourself to better experiences. Read on for your sun, moon, and rising signs for a complete interpretation of what to expect this week.

It's about to get interesting as we kick off this week with the Sun merging with Uranus on May 13th, giving us the space to embrace change and evolution. Any edge of resistance percolating in your life can stir feelings of constant restlessness. Remember that Uranus sends curveballs; on this day, whatever is stagnant in your life will see what needs to change.

Curveballs only reveal the instability you are experiencing inside. On May 13, embrace the idea of starting over.

There is also another incredible event happening: we are experiencing an astrological stellium. This means more than two planets will be in the sign of Taurus, which will boost whichever house is ruling in our birth charts. If you need to find out, click here to see your birth chart in one easy step.

The great news is that our ideas and mindset will slow down as the communication planet Mercury moves into the earthy sign Taurus on May 15. These next few weeks will create an outlet for you to begin thinking before speaking or doing. Focusing on the practical side of things will hold you steady and ensure a sound progression.

On May 17, Mercury will cross paths with Pluto in a harsh position detailing aspects of your life or situations that involve power struggles leading to unforeseen disagreements. Hold space and observe your stance on control. It takes two to tango, especially with confrontation. Listen intently before jumping to conclusions.

Love is about to take center stage, and on May 18, when Venus joins Uranus in Taurus, it will dance to a different tempo.

This is the moment to see or experience love from a different perspective. This powerful interchange will also amp up your creative direction. The Sun will also merge with Jupiter in Taurus, and there will be a stroke of luck and an overflow of optimism that can lead to chance encounters or incredible experiences. With a pure heart and intent, this day will reveal the silver lining in your life circumstances.

On May 19, when the Sun forms a supportive position with Neptune, our dreams and outlook on life will be visceral, as though we are walking in a lucid dream. Chart out your long-term ventures or begin meditation practice to secure the connection with your vision. It is a beautiful opportunity to channel your intuition practice or extend compassion to others who need your support.

Key Dates

  • 5/13 Sun conjunct Uranus
  • 5/15 Mercury enters Taurus
  • 5/17 Mercury square Pluto
  • 5/18 Venus conjunct Uranus, Sun conjunct Jupiter
  • 5/19 Sun sextile Neptune

Your Weekly Horoscope Is Here For May 13 To May 19

Aries

This week, you are on fire with your self-worth; this is your chance to take charge of matters. Your adulting skills will reach their peak. Take ownership and resist the temptation of being the wallflower of the party. With celestial points Sun, Mercury, Venus, Jupiter, and Uranus residing in your second house, this will be a fantastic opportunity to take the reins and make things happen with your financial needs and earnings. However, watch out for impulsive purchases; this is the period to gain, not lose. Designate time and discuss your money goals with your partner. You are magnetic and have what it takes to share your ideas, make that pitch, or request for promotion.

Taurus

Your birthday month continues, and with Mercury closing in on your sign, you will feel that rose-colored glow this week. With Mercury, Venus, Jupiter, and Uranus powering up your identity and self-appearance sector, you will experience an upgrade in your look or feel a wave of confidence. Addressing your wants and needs can go in your favor, but you must live up to your promises to others. Be mindful and reflective. When Mercury squares Pluto this week, it will significantly challenge your authority, but remember to factor in sensitivity to keep things in a better flow.

Gemini

How are you holding up Gemini? It has been a minute since you felt in your element, and with the stellium of planets in Taurus taking place in your subconscious sector, you are experiencing incredible growth opportunities. This week, there will be an outlet for you to experience a breakthrough involving your ideas. Whatever has been backlogged lately, expect movement when Mercury squares Pluto; you will begin to see the reason behind everything involving past setbacks or unresolved issues. Observe your environment and align with your intuition to bridge any gaps.

Cancer

Get your social events calendar, Cancer, because this week will be busy. With the planets—Sun, Mercury, Venus, Jupiter, and Uranus—all hanging out together, your social life is about to ignite. You'll feel extra charming and magnetic, drawing new people and exciting collaborations into your orbit. This week is about sharing laughs, chasing dreams together, and enjoying the ride with your crew. Especially when the Sun conjuncts Jupiter this week, this will be the perfect time to arrange a get-together or event. This will also be a time for you to pinpoint the core reason behind your aspirations.

Leo

Get ready to feel a change in your career zone. This week, your career sector embodies the Sun, Mercury, Venus, Jupiter, and Uranus. That means big things are happening on the work front! Opportunities for growth, recognition, and success are knocking at your door. Embrace your inner leader and show the world what you're made of. Don't be afraid to step outside your comfort zone and take some risks—this stellium has your back. Just measure your words and timing when Mercury squares Pluto this week. Measure twice and cut once.

Virgo

Buckle up and get ready to expand your horizons this week, Virgo, with the Sun, Mercury, Venus, Jupiter, and Uranus igniting your firmer beliefs and thirst for adventure. Whether planning a spontaneous trip, delving into a fascinating subject, or exploring your spiritual side, the Universe has your back. Trust your intuition and follow your heart's desires. When the Sun sextiles Neptune, this will attract an aha moment for you to realize the meaning behind your life direction; you will find clarity in your next steps as you set linear thinking aside.

Libra

As an air sign, you are equipped to face challenges and factor in logical reasoning. Everything will make sense this week as you invest time in your inner work. With the stellium happening in your resources and intimacy sector of life, you'll be navigating through a mix of opportunities and lessons in your relationships, finances, and personal growth. Embrace the chance to connect more deeply with your loved ones and explore what truly matters to you. When Mercury squares Pluto, financial breakthroughs or shifts in your approach can manifest. Take this time to reflect, release old baggage, and emerge stronger and more empowered.

Scorpio

Love and values continue to be on the radar for you, Scorpio. Your relationship and commitment sector is lit with this planetary stellium. This cosmic fusion brings both exciting opportunities and understanding to your partnerships. It's a great time to deepen your bonds and explore new romantic or professional connections. It can be a great time to form a new business partnership or agreement to get things rolling. This week is about learning how to trust in others. When Mercury faces Pluto this week, look out for misinformation or avoid jumping to conclusions involving love matters. Stay grounded, keep those lines of communication open, and work through any issues together. Remain openhearted and patient.

Sagittarius

Expect a boost in your daily grind and wellness routines! With the planets—Sun, Mercury, Venus, Jupiter, and Uranus—converging in your health and wellness sector, you're in for some changes. It's a great time to shake up your habits, tackle tasks with renewed energy, and focus on your health goals. Be careful not to bite off more than you can chew or neglect your self-care amidst the busyness. Stay grounded, balance work and play, and prioritize self-care to master your routine. When the Sun sextiles Neptune, prioritize a sacred practice such as somatic healing or meditation on this day, and you will witness a shift in your approach to life.

Capricorn

Prepare for a burst of creativity and excitement as the stellium of planets illuminates your romantic and creative sphere of life. This week brings opportunities for artistic inspiration, romantic adventures, and joyful experiences. Embrace your inner child, indulge in playful pursuits, and see life as a story only you can write. When Mercury squares Pluto, be mindful of impulsiveness or scattered energy that may lead to distractions or conflicts. Capitalize on the purity behind your decisions. Make all of the unresolved water under the bridge. Stay focused on your goals while allowing yourself to explore new avenues of self-expression and pleasure.

Aquarius

This week spotlights your home and family life. It's a great time to cozy up with loved ones, spruce up your space, and dive into heartfelt conversations. Allow the opportunity to strengthen bonds and create a sense of belonging. The Mercury square Pluto can add a challenge to your mojo, and be aware of some family dynamics or unexpected household issues that might crop up. It is an opportunity to clear the air or share what has been circulating in your mind lately. Stay grounded, open communication lines, and work together to find solutions.

Pisces

Brainstorming and endless downloads of information are circulating within your mind, Pisces. With the planetary stellium embodying your communications sector, it's like the Universe is giving you a megaphone! Take advantage of this by speaking your truth, connecting with others, and soaking up knowledge like a sponge. But watch out for scattered thoughts or miscommunications that might trip you up. When the Sun sextiles Neptune, stay grounded, keep your focus sharp, and trust your intuition—it's your superpower, especially on that day. This week is about sharing your unique voice and expanding your mind, Pisces. Dive in and make the most of it!

Want to learn the astrology basics and decode your birth chart? Take a look at Lumi's new beginner's astrology workbook

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Desperate For Long Nails? How To Finally Make Your Nails Grow Faster

Nails breaking constantly? Wishing you didn't have to rely on tips at the salon? Desperate for that long nail look? You’re not alone. Despite it being used as an annoying and vapid phrase women would say in TV shows, breaking a nail is very painful and can ruin a (usually expensive) manicure. But don’t fret — we’ve rounded up five simple ways to get your nails to grow longer and stronger.

What causes weak fingernails?

Photo by cottonbro studio/PEXELS

But first, what causes unhealthy, brittle, breakable nails? A lot of factors that may not instantly come to mind. According to WebMD, these factors can contribute to weak nails:

  • Aging: As we get older, our nails get thinner and can crack or peel.
  • Harsh nail products: Both nail polish and nail polish remover can have strong chemicals that can damage and dry out your nails, leading them to break.
  • Wet nails: Consistently have your hands in water, maybe doing the dishes or bathtime for the kids? This could be drying out your nails.
  • Underlying health issues: Vitamin deficiencies, autoimmune diseases, and many other health issues could be the cause of nails breaking.

How can I strengthen my nails?

Photo by Karolina Grabowska/PEXELS

Dealing with some of these factors? While we can’t help you with the underlying health issues (please see a doctor if you think you may be dealing with something!), there are many easy things you can do to improve your nails and encourage growth.

  • Cuticle oil
  • Biotin
  • Diet
  • Nail protection
  • Avoid picking and peeling
Here's why each factor is important, plus how you can go about successfully achieving them.

Find a Cuticle Oil

You may only use cuticle oil when your manicurist applies it, but that doesn't have to be the case. Cuticle oils are an inexpensive and easy way to promote nail health and growth by keeping your nails hydrated. Cosmetically, cuticle oils encourage longer-lasting manis and leave your nails looking shiny and polished. But they do much more below the surface: cuticle oils create a healthier environment that allows strong growth for your nails.

Interested in adding cuticle oil to your beauty routine? Check our a few of my faves:

Photo via Cora Pursley/Dupe

Explore Biotin

Biotin is an important type of B vitamin that helps our bodies turn food into energy. It’s also one of the top recommended supplements for hair and nail growth, and for good reason. Many scientists say a daily biotin supplement can improve nail strength in as little as a few weeks.

“Since it is water soluble, biotin (or vitamin B7) can’t be stored in the body and must be acquired from diet or through supplementation,” shared Rachel Kilroy, Director of Product Innovation at Solaray, the original pioneers in supplement health and wellness. Solaray has developed a new supplement that provides biotin in a unique way.

“Solaray’s Timed Release Biotin strategically supports nail health with a powerful 5,000 mcg of this important nutrient, delivering half of the biotin rapidly and the other half gradually over a period of up to 8 hours for sustained support,” Kilroy continued. “With consistent use, this vegan formula—lab verified for purity and potency—can provide comprehensive support for longer, stronger nails.”

Supplements not your thing? Biotin can be found naturally in many foods, like cooked eggs, whole grains, soy and other beans, nuts and nut butters, salmon, mushrooms, and cauliflower.

Photo via Daniella Cappellari/Dupe

Eat A Nail Friendly Diet

Nails require a balanced, healthy diet for proper growth and strength. According to Medical News Today, making small tweaks to your diet can make a big impact on your nails. Adding in nutrients like more iron or calcium in your diet will have your nails growing long and strong.

Dieticians recommend a colorful diet for nail growth consisting of colorful fruits and veggies, nuts, seeds, eggs, lean meat, avocado, sweet potato, and whole grains.

Photo via Sash Gabriel/Dupe

Protect Your Nails While Wet

Constantly doing dishes, managing bath time, gardening, or swimming? The water may be the cause of your breakage.

Your nails are like sponges, constantly expanding and contracting when water goes in or out of the nail cells. This can strain your nails, causing them to weaken, peel, and then break.

When possible, grab a pair of rubber gloves to wear while cleaning to protect your nails from the water and make sure to fully dry your nails after they’re in water. Hand creams are also a win for your nails after water exposure.

Avoid Picking, Peeling or Biting

Bad habits that are addicting. While peeling off your gel manicure can be so satisfying, it’s one of the worst things you can do for your nails. Same with constantly picking or biting your nails. As someone who used to constantly bite her nails down, I can assure you my nails are much healthier and stronger after kicking that habit.

Want to quit that habit? Try a nail bite deterrent, like this one from ella+mia or this one from LONDONTOWN and watch your nails grow before your eyes.

Looking for more beauty tips and inspo? Be sure to sign up for our weekly email newsletter for more!

Brit + Co may at times use affiliate links to promote products sold by others, but always offers genuine editorial recommendations.

Header image via Laura Walt/Dupe

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5 Doubts You Might Have After Moving In Together — And How to Deal With Them

You and your significant other have decided to move in together. You're picking out a new sofa and dreaming about how amazing it will be to cook breakfast together every Saturday morning. In the weeks after the move-in, it's likely to feel pretty idyllic. You're awash in the honeymoon period, so thrilled to be sharing a home that nothing can shake you. But then things get a little dicey.

A few weeks or months after you've moved in together, you may start to question things. And that's perfectly normal. You've just taken a major step in your relationship, and growing pains are totally real, so don't let your doubts derail your future plans with your S.O. Experts say these five doubts are especially common. Here's how to deal.

1. Is Our Relationship Moving at the "Right" Pace?

Photo by Pexels/Vera Arsic

“After moving in together, many couples notice they have doubts about the progression of their relationship," licensed psychotherapist Christine Scott-Hudson says. “Each partner may experience uncertainty about their own or their partner's timing and may suffer if they relate their partner's faster pace to being pushed or their partner's slower pace to feeling unappreciated or undervalued." Once you're sharing a space with your S.O. 24/7, you may be more sensitive than ever to the fact that you're not on the same page about things like engagement, in-laws, children, and more. If you're experiencing doubt about how — and how quickly — your relationship is moving forward, start talking about it with bae ASAP. See if you can recalibrate your expectations and open up communication.

2. How Should We Be Handling Our Finances?

Photo by Pexels/Kuncheek

There are plenty of romantic elements about moving in with a partner, but money is also at play… and that's not so romantic. If you and your significant other didn't have an extensive conversation about finances before the move-in actually happened, you may be finding that your new roomie has financial habits that make you feel uncomfortable now that you're sharing bills. Certified mental health professional and relationship expert from Maple Holistics Adina Mahalli suggests seeking outside help when possible for this kind of issue. Sign up for a financial management class together to help put those doubts at ease. If that's not doable for you, try setting up a very clear budget so you can get back on the same page.

3. Can I Handle These Quirks Full-Time?

Photo by Pexels/cottonbro studio

In the glow of a new relationship, your sweetie's idiosyncrasies may seem more cute than annoying. But when you're dealing with them front and center, day in and day out? Maybe not so much. “Once you move in together, your rose-colored glasses start to wear off and seemingly endearing traits become more irritating and harder to overlook," DatingScout dating expert Celia Schweyer notes. “Living together means you have to experience real life with your partner." Navigating those real-life annoyances while keeping your relationship strong requires communication and compromise, Schweyer says. Speak up (respectfully) about the habits that bother you, and come to the table with suggestions that will allow you and your partner to live in harmony without changing who you are. It's better than bottling up your frustration and becoming resentful.

4. What if We Start To Feel Like Roommates?

Photo by Pexels/Alex Green

If, after living together for a while, you and your S.O. start to feel less like romantic partners and more like, well, roomies, don't panic. It happens. But it may create some doubt. Matchmaker, relationship expert, and Platinum Poire founder Rori Sassoon tells us that roommate syndrome can be solved by putting in some serious mutual work. Both of you will need to step up your game, communicate, and figure out how to get the dynamic back on track.

5. What If My Partner Starts to Hate My Quirks?

Photo by Pexels/SHVETS production

Just as you might suddenly doubt your relationship because your significant other's quirks are on display full-time, you may start to get insecure about how they perceive your quirks. “You will become more relaxed in your own home and less willing or able to keep up a show," marriage coach and relationship expertLesli Doares says. “This isn't necessarily a bad thing, but it can come as a surprise." Be open-minded about hearing your partner's feedback and don't shy away from trying to improve on some of the habits that cause issues.

RELATED: 7 Tips You Need to Know When Moving in With Your Significant Other

This post has been updated.

Header image via Vlada Karpovich / PEXELS

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Yulin Kuang’s Debut Novel “How To End A Love Story” Is Summer's Hottest Book Club Pick

I've got a thing for Reese Witherspoon's book club which is why I couldn't wait to get my hands on Yulin Kuang's debut novel How to End a Love Story. Chosen as Reese's Book Club's May Pick, it features a romance that almost shouldn't make sense. I mean, when's the last time you realized you trauma bonded with someone? Except Helen Zhang and Grant Shepard's character arcs as well as the entire plot of How to End a Love Story doesn't even feel like that.

Instead, Yulin uncannily peels back the layers of what it means to be a layered human being who happens to be carrying trauma, talent, success, imposter syndrome, and burning desire in their hearts. Even that doesn't scratch the surface of who Helen and Grant are. Trying to capture their essence feels like I'm stumbling over my words which points to how great this novel is and that means Yulin's goal has been accomplished.

Though she loves perfectly executed rom-coms and is fortunate to be working on them in the filmmaking space, she doesn't consider How to End a Love Story as one. "...I was searching for something more aligned with the Brontë sensibility of romance in the writing of this book. Less warmth and charm, more id-level storytelling and unchecked carnal desire," she explains.

Yulin Kuang's Journey To "How To End A Love Story"

Image via Zach Wallnau

Some people seem to be born knowing they're destined to right, but some of us stumble into it and realize, "Hey, I'm pretty good at this." For Yulin, her journey to her debut novel How to End a Love Story takes the latter route. Her first dream, you make ask? To be an Olympic figure skater.

"...that didn't pan out so I turned to storytelling," Yulin admits. That pivot led her to set her sights on becoming an author as she began honing her creative writing skills via your classic marble composition notebooks. If you're still wondering if she kept some of them, the answer is yes!

The screenwriter and author then found herself drawn to other aspects of writing and film. She says, "I eventually fell in love with screenwriting and directing while in undergrad at Carnegie Mellon, and I spent my first decade post-grad concentrating on my filmmaking career."

Yulin Kuang's Approach To Filmmaking

It's a reason why her hard work and the stars aligned for her to adapt Emily Henry's Beach Read and People We Meet on Vacation.

When I ask what helps her approach the book-to-film trajectory, she credits writing fan fiction. This feels similar to Christina Lauren's own experience, further proving that fan fiction deserves the utmost praise for helping some of the best literary and film minds who ultimately birth what I could only describe as masterpieces.

Yulin says, "Fan fiction is where I first learned you could play with characters originated by someone else to discover what you’d make them do in your own version." Although it would be easy for anyone to snap their fingers and have their first pitches accepted by everyone, she learned to lean on what writing fan fiction taught her.

"Early in my career, I would pitch on book-to-film adaptations and I’d be like, 'Change nothing, just shoot the book!' And I wouldn’t get those jobs, because I didn’t have a clear “take” and because you can’t actually just shoot a book – adaptation is an art form unto itself. So onceI started approaching adaptation with more of a fan fiction mindset – 'What is my take on these characters and this world?' – that helped me approach the book-to-screen trajectory more successfully," she proudly says.

However, this doesn't mean she never questioned if she could still find ways to create new ideas. "...in 2021, at a time when everything else I was working on was an adaptation, I found myself wondering if I had anything original left within me," she remembers.

It's natural for creatives to experience moments of doubt, but Yulin has been able to turn the tide and discover untapped ideas in her mind. Just don't expect her to set her own expectations about any adaptations she's working on.

She says, "Know that I am an avid reader of romance and a frequent consumer of this genre across mediums, and I will be bringing everything I know going into these adaptations. But more specifically to Beach Read, which I have more creative ownership over as the writer/director."

How Yulin Kuang Relates To Her Main Characters In "How To End A Love Story"

And since How to End a Love Story is truly Yulin's own creative body of work, it makes sense that main characters Helen and Grant have pieces of her personality as well as her characteristics.

"I gave Helen all my hopes and insecurities from high school and gave her the alternate universe path where I had pursued publishing instead of Hollywood. I examined what might have happened if I’d grown into certain qualities I’ve actively tried to grow away from," she says of Helen Zhang.

Right away, readers get the sense that Helen is a whip-smart and hardworking, but her penchant for being cautious about her success also peeks through. Though she's written highly successful YA (read: young adult) novels, Helen waits with bated breath for the moment people will call her bluff. She's relatable because many of us wonder if we're simply cosplaying as versions of ourselves who've reached any level of success.

On the other hand, there's Grant Shepard. He's seemingly this cool, calm, and collected screenwriter who has a complicated past with Helen. Yulin says, "I gave Grant a lot of the qualities I’m proud of and/or have coveted as a working screenwriter, and I certainly relate to many of his thoughts on screenwriting and the current state of our industry."

The more the reader learns about Helen and Grant, the more it becomes obvious that there's more to them than meets the eye. Sure, they are complicated...but who isn't?

"At their core, Helen and Grant are just two kids from Jersey trying to make it in Hollywood, and of course I relate deeply to that," she says.

Yulin Kuang's View Of Rom-Coms

Based on Yulin's genuine interest in romance novels and the fact she's well-versed in adapting them, she knows what it takes to make rom-coms flourish. Her first take? "Romantic tension is key to any romance – I always need to know why our couple can’t be together now. The second that tension is gone, so is audience interest," she points out.

This explains why we can't get enough of reading books about it, listening to albums dedicated to it, or watching films that depict all levels of romance. Still, there are some people who approach the genre with a side eye.

"There seems to be a natural human suspicion of things that make us feel too good – like, 'That can’t possibly be good for us, that’s just candy!' I wonder if it’s something evolutionary at work," she says before doubling down. "You can’t argue with the fact that people absolutely fucking love rom-coms, and I will die on the hill that a well-earned happily ever after is both harder to achieve and more narratively satisfying when it’s pulled off successfully."

She's the type of writer who really appreciates a big kiss that's handled correctly onscreen, but she's also not afraid to "groan every time it's fumbled." But, she knows everyone still won't see romance the way she and so many others view it, but she doesn't really care.

"Ultimately, I don’t concern myself too much with changing minds that don’t want to be changed.There are enough smart people who recognize the power and value of rom-coms, and I’d rather spend my precious time creating art to surprise and delight the people with good taste."

Need I say that this is yet another reason why How to End a Love Story works so well?

How Yulin Kuang Wishes The World Would Celebrate AAPI Month

As much as she's vocal about screenwriting and rom-coms, Yulin also has thoughts about the way society-at-large talks about BIPOC creative artists. "There’s a real, 'This is important, eat your vegetables,' vibe to things. And while that might be true, it’s not the most appealing way to market or discover art," she says.

She admits this could be due to how many diversity-in-film panels she's attended. As a Black woman, the conversations I see every year during Black History Month seem to have a certain "Let's check this box so everyone can be happy" vibe, so I can imagine attending panels about diversity and inclusion can start to sound repetitive after awhile.

Yulin doesn't hold back when she says, "I’m a little jaded when people ask me diversity questions at this point. I don’t want to attract the kind of readers who are only showing up to be supportive of my Asian-ness. It’s a bit like showing up to a date where someone says, 'I’m so excited that you’re Asian!!!'" This is an analogy I can so get behind because it makes a lot of sense!

It's one thing to have representation, but I like to think it's always obvious when people are approaching the conversation in a way that 'others' BIPOC people. We're literally not asking for a trophy, but more so an acknowledgement that we shouldn't be excluded from conversations, spaces, and careers or treated differently.

This sentiment is shared by Yulin who says, "That’s the thing about me that I didn’t do on purpose, and while I’m glad you’re excited, I hope there are things that I did do on purpose that you find exciting, too" and feels there is a way to be a genuine ally.

"...support AAPI creatives by all means, and perhaps begin by celebrating us as individual artists even after the designated month ends. And where applicable, talk about our work like it’s candy, not vegetables. I’d rather be irresistible than important," she states.

Take a page from Yulin Kuang's book and pick up a copy of How to End a Love Story today! You won't regret it!

Looking for more reading recs? Be sure to check out our storefront for more of our fave books!

Brit + Co may at times use affiliate links to promote products sold by others, but always offers genuine editorial recommendations.

Lead image via Amazon

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The 20 Best Deals For Up To 80% Off During Amazon's Book Sale

Calling all BookTok, bookstagrammers, and leisurely readers: the Amazon Book Sale has landed! I can barely contain myself because there’s so many great titles — including more than a few picks from Reese Witherspoon’s book club — that Amazon is discounting for it’s special reading crowd.

I know I’ve been stuck on romantasy books for a while (sorry, not sorry!), but there’s so many other great picks you’ll be able to snag on sale. And if you’re a Kindle type of woman, you’re not being left out.

Amazon isn’t leaving any stone unturned with this sale so let’s jump right into what to expect and which books are on sale right now!

When is the Amazon Book Sale?

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The Amazon Book Sale began May 15 and will end on May 20, so you still have time to add very discounted books to your TBR list!

What should I expect from the Amazon Book Sale?

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The Amazon Book Sale will feature titles from different genres that you can save up to 50% on. Not only that, but Kindle users can save up to 80% on books! In case you’re wondering, you're not dreaming — this is really, really good.

The best news about the sale is that you can start shopping deals NOW. So, what are you waiting for! Take a peek at our picks!

Are Kindle books included in the Amazon Book Sale?

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Yes! You'll be able to find a plethora of discounted kindle books during the Amazon Book Sale. The best news is that you can access three months of Kindle Unlimitedfor $0!

Shop Book Editors' Picks During the Amazon Sale

None of This Is True by Lisa Jewell

Alix Summer and Josie Fair quickly become friends after a chance meeting on their birthdays. They seem to have things in common which leads Alix to feature Josie on her podcast. But the closer they get, the more Alix feels conflicted about her new friend.

Before she can piece together her concerns, Josie has found her way into every part of Alix's life and it's only after she disappears that Alix realizes how much danger she's in.

Bad Summer People by Emma Rosenblum

Jen Weinstein and her friend Lauren Parker are ever popular in Salcombe, Fire Island during the summer season. They seem to have a hold on anyone that comes in contact with them, including their husbands. However, there's no denying that grudges have been steadily building over the years due to things unspoken. And Rachel Woolf? Well, she's just there to have a great time even if it's at someone else's expense.

However, who knows more than they're willing to share and who would be so angry that they'd commit a murder?

Weyward by Emilia Hart

Weyward is a moving novel that alternates between various timelines and involves a family's mystical powers.

In the present time of 2019, Kate takes refuge at her great-aunt's cottage that's worlds away from the person she's afraid of. She's not entirely sure, but she can't shake the feeling that there was more to her great-aunt than was outwardly presented.

The timeline of 1619 is then introduced and readers get to know Altha, a woman who's accused of having something to do with a farmer's death. The thing is Altha truly does know magic associated with the world around her, but people are on edge and will do anything to have a witch trial.

Then in 1942, we meet young Violet who feels trapped in more ways than one. She wants nothing more than to live a life that's not confined by hiding behind society's expectations of women. Her only connection to her mother and her past is finding the word 'weyward' in her bedroom, thus setting off a chain of events that lead back to 2019.

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It Ends With Us & It Starts With Us Box Set by Colleen Hoover

For the first time ever, get your hands on the limited edition box set of Colleen Hoover's finest, It Ends With Us and It Starts With Us!

It Ends With Us begins with Lily believing that Ryle couldn't be more perfect for her despite his tendency to be rough around the edges. There's also the fact that he's not 100% open to dating. But, they somehow form a sort of love dance that becomes a romantic relationship. However, this is challenged when her first love Atlas comes back into her life.

It Starts With Us finds Lily and Ryle divorced, but they still communicate on friendly terms. But when Atlas comes into the picture again, Lily doesn't hesitate to let him into her world. It shouldn't feel complicated, but she knows that Atlas is the last man Ryle wants around. The ending is just as shocking, poignant, and beautiful as It Ends With Us.

Red, White & Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston

Still excited that the movie adaptation of Red, White & Royal Blue is getting a sequel that'll premiere on Amazon Prime? Me too, but we'll have to wait for more news to drop about it! Until then, we can revisit our favorite couple by Casey McQuiston's book that's on sale for $15!

House of Ash and Shadow by Leia Stone

Fallon Bane spends a great deal of her life being untouched because of a lethal curse she was born with. Despite her acceptance, she still yearns for intimacy. To make matters worse, her father's own health becomes comprised which leads her to seek out help from a healer fae — Ariyon Madden.

He not only begins helping her, but he always touches her in a way she's never experienced before. Fallon is shocked that she's still ver much alive and things finally seem to look bright for her. That is until Ariyon tells other powerful fae about her.

From there, Fallon learns the truth about who her family is and why her curse exists..

A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J. Maas

Young Feyre commits an offense agains the immortal and very powerful fae that sends her to their magical world. Though she's away from a life of poverty and tension, she misses her family.

Still, she resides in the home of the 'beast' who allows her to live in his home — Tamlin. What she quickly realizes is that he's actually one of the powerful faes and that she's not the kind of prisoner she thinks she is. Even more, she begins questioning everything she'd learned about the Fae world because it's not quite like what mortals say it is.

As the hostility between Feyre and Tamlin dies down, an ancient evil continues spreading through his world and it'll be up to Feyre to help stop it.

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The Woman in the Window by A.J. Finn

Anna Fox has agoraphobia so she spends time by herself at home by herself and fills her days with drinking, watching comfort movies, and being a nosy neighbor. That's how she knows a new family — The Russells — have moved across from her.

She continues her usually nosy activities and finds herself witnessing something that seems horribly wrong. As she frantically tries to piece together the mystery of what happened, it becomes clear that the lines of her imagination and reality have become blurred.

Firefly Lane by Kristin Hannah

Kate Mularkey was never the popular girl until she met her best friend Tully. Their lives are polar opposite, but there's no denying how tight their bond is. Over time we learn that Tully has abandonment issues and looks for anyone — especially men — to love her. Her journey takes her to the big apple where she achieves all the glitz and glamour that life has to offer.

Kate goes on to become a wife and mother, two things she believes she wants, but it becomes clear that she's missing something. That something is what begins to burn a hole in her being and the more she watches her best friend Tully live a successful life, the more she wants that for herself too.

Little Fires Everywhere by Celeste Ng

Elena Richardson and Mia Warren go to warn in this moving novel about classism. It dares to ask readers who deserves to be seen as a shining example of a mother as both women eventually face how far they're willing to go to protect those they love.

For Elena, Shaker Heights is all she's ever known. She's married, has four children, and is well-loved in her community. She believes that she's been able to achieve everything she has because she knows how to be the woman who doesn't color outside of the lines.

On the other hand, Mia is an artist who knows all about creating masterpieces with elements that are otherwise seen as messy. She and her daughter Pearl become a little too close to the Richardsons, finding their lives dangerously intertwined with them.

When a custody battle ensues that involves the young daughter of Mia co-worker, she finds herself willing to dismantle the pretty facade of not only Shaker Heights, but Elena as well.

Tiny Beautiful Things by Cheryl Strayed (Only 2 Left in Stock)

Cheryl Strayed has spent over 10 years dishing out advice as 'Dear Sugar' has touched people with her columns, podcast Dear Sugars, and Substack. Deciding to compile all of the best things she's ever told people, Cheryl Strayed pieced together Tiny Beautiful Things so that readers around the world won't have to look far for her empathetic wisdom.

Georgie, All Along by Kate Clayborn

Georgia Mulcahy is the ultimate people-pleaser and her career is the epitome of it. She'd probably always be that way had it not been for a unexpected career change that sends her packing back home. Begrudgingly, she goes and soon discovers a diary where she once wrote down all of her heart's desires.

This inspires her to start checking things off her life's to-do list so that she can really start living. It's just that Levi Fanning is somehow her unexpected roommate while she's at her parents' home and his offer to help her complete her list feels like something she didn't know she'd encounter.

The more they spend time together, the more Georgie feels like there's more to life than checking off things on a list.

The Mitford Affair by Marie Benedict

The Mitford sisters have always been the talk of the town, but nothing is as shocking as when one of the sisters decides she'd rather devote herself to a fascist leader. Another sister decides it's worth following her and this leads people to whisper salacious things about her alleged relationship with Hitler.

As the war between Great Britain and Germany threaten to spill over, their sister Nancy can't help but wonder what her sisters have gotten themselves into. She'll have to decide where her own allegiance lies.

Expiration Dates by Rebecca Serle

Daphne Bell has always known how long she'll be with a man before moving on to the next one. It's not that she's flighty, but more so that the universe literally tells her what to expect. These little nudges have been in her life for over two decades and it's something she's learned to accept.

However, the universe decides to be cryptic by only clueing her in on the name of the next man she'll spend time with. It's odd because if Jake knew the things she did, there's a chance he could walk away from her forever and that's the last thing Daphne wants.

On a Quiet Street by Seraphina Nova Glass

Brighton Hills appears to be a picturesque place to live. It's a community that beautifully blends luxurious living with the gorgeous nature that surrounds it and the neighbors always have their eyes on each other.

However, Cora's desire to find out if her husband is having an affair leads her to form a partnership with Paige. She's the one neighbor that Cora knows keeps a watchful eye on what's going on in Brighton Hills after her son died.

The two women work together to discover what Cora's husband is really up to, but what they may stumble across will send a shockwave through Brighton Hills.

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Throne of the Fallen by Kerri Maniscalo

The Prince of Envy is struggling to save his demon court in Throne of the Fallen, but he's determined to find a way to do so. He's not afraid of the magic and mysterious people that keep crossing his path because nothing can stop his fierce desire to regain the control he once has.

Things are seemingly no different from Miss Camilla Antonius because she's facing blackmail by someone who literally makes her skin crawl. In order to change her fate, she reluctantly joins forces with The Prince of Envy and thus begins their dangerous journey through the Underworld.

It's the one place that may pull them together in more ways than one.

The Undertaking of Hart and Mercy by Megan Bannen

Hart spends most of his time patrolling Tanria, but the loneliness does nothing to keep him company. Things couldn't be any different for Mercy though. She's tasked with making sure things are running properly at Birdsall & Son Undertakers and doesn't have time for anyone's foolery.

Ironically, Hart and Mercy both have taken up writing mysterious letters to strangers who have become their friends. The thing is they're not aware they've been communicating with each other.

It's a classic enemies-to-loves fantasy novel that'll make you smile with glee.

The Mystery Guest by Nita Prose

Molly Gray is the Head Maid at the prestigious Regency Grand Hotel and runs a tight ship that makes sure the hotel maintains a flair that guests have become accustomed to. All is going well until successful author J.D. Grimthorpe suddenly collapses and is pronounced dead.

This lands Detective Stark — someone Molly doesn't exactly get along with — back on the scene as it's realized there's something terribly wrong going on. Anyone could be a suspect, including Molly. It'll be up to her to revisit things she's kept secret — like the trip she took to Grimthorpe's property long ago.

Happy Place by Emily Henry

Emily Henry knows exactly what it takes to write a moving novel that's filled with friendship, laughter, and romance. That's why it's not surprising that Happy Place is well loved by #BookTok and #Bookstagram.

It's all about how a once happy couple — Harriet and Wyn — find themselves embroiled in an interesting ruse so their friends don't suspect something's wrong with them. The fact is that they're no longer together and can barely stand being in the same room anymore.

It would be find if they weren't expected to happily show up to the cottage that's become the yearly hub for them and their friends. Still, they begrudgingly decide to make an appearance.

What's the worst that could happen?

For the first time, you'll be able to read Happy Place on Kindle for $5!

We can't wait to see what you snag during the Amazon Book Sale! Check out our storefront for more reading recs!

Brit + Co. may at times use affiliate links to promote products sold by others, but always offers genuine editorial recommendations.

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This post has been updated.

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