Lauren Bushnell may have ditched her engagement ring while looking toward a future that includes an unexpected new gig with fellow “Bachelor nation” alum Amanda Stanton (who’s also headed to Bachelor in Paradise, BTW), but things don’t seem to be going as smoothly for her ex. Ben Higgins has already opened up once about calling off his wedding to Bushnell last November, but his latest confession about their split will absolutely break your heart.

Lauren Bushnell and Ben Higgins

“When you really care about somebody and you really love somebody and that has to end — for whatever reason, even for reasons that either person can’t really explain, it’s just a feeling and you have to go your separate ways — it hurts. It hurts bad,” the obviously heartbroken 29-year-old said in a clip shared by Us from The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous podcast (co-hosted by fellow reality star Ashley Iaconetti).

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You are going to hurt somebody, you are going to hurt somebody deeply. But, I will not be one of those people. I cannot focus on the negative comments or indecently hateful words being said about me or my relationship even though they do sting. I do know great people that I care about deeply that comments and criticisms have affected and as a result I wanted to share my words. A small minority of people (at least I will continue to believe it is a small minority) want to see people suffer or fail. Personally, my basis for judging myself is simple, if I do something that doesn’t represent Christ then I will listen to the opinions and words from family and friends who know me best and love me. I do desire (by the direction of family and peers) to become a better person daily. I know some will not agree with my intentions but in all things my pursuit is to represent Christ better. With that, I will once again clearly tell you I AM NOT PERFECT as none of us are and I have never claimed to be. I do desire to show love in all situations (do I always do that? No, I fail often). To be clear, not that this should be a surprise, but this podcast is a professional decision I have made to enhance my life and career. I still have a full time job. I am still running Generous Coffee company. I still have a blog. I am still actively involved in @humanityandhope. And now, because I was given the opportunity, I have added a podcast with a friend and a great company (@iheartradio) to talk about life (and I love to talk). The last few months have not gone the way I would have preferred. My relationships have changed drastically and what I envisioned my life was going to be has been redirected. It is sad, but it is nothing you should feel sorry for me about, life happens both the good and bad. With this, what do you think I should do now? For all of you that have given me advice let me give you some from my heart. Love as hard as you can (even to strangers). Ask yourself what life is about and pursue your conclusion with passion. When a good opportunity comes your way that fits your desires take it, because life is short but a lot more fun when you are doing something you enjoy.

A post shared by Ben Higgins (@higgins.ben) on

He didn’t end there, adding, “When you have people continually putting that [pressure] on you and saying things that not only hurt me but also hurt Lauren, I felt like it was time for me to make a post.” Referring to an Instagram post he shared last week that held the same kind of message, he continued, “…what I said was this: You can judge me; you can judge Lauren. I can’t stop that. But that won’t affect me because I only have one thing I will be judged by, and that is my belief in a God above. And I will hold myself to that standard.”

We have to wonder if he’ll be holding himself up to that standard on any future seasons of The Bachelor. For now, you can check out Higgins talking about his breakup on the full episode of The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous podcast on the iHeartRadio app on Monday, June 5, at 11pm ET.

What do you think about Ben Higgins’ message about people saying judgmental things to hurt himself and Lauren Bushnell? Let us know @BritandCo!

(h/t Us; photo via John Lamparski/Getty)