Recommended for you
Look, we've all made some questionable late-night purchases while doom-scrolling. Maybe between (regrettably) texting your ex and Googling potential summer vacation spots, you've bought a low-priced but also low-quality dress off TikTok Shop, splurged on yet another Jellycat, or hit up someone selling a strange (but also intriguing...) piece of wall art on Facebook Marketplace.
However, nothing could've prepared us for the Nordstrom advertisement we just got served on Instagram. It wasn't for any of the retailer's usual suspects, like apparel, shoes, accessories, or even home goods. No, the ad was for a disturbingly realistic-looking horseshoe crab toy, priced at $10.17.
"Safari Ltd. Horseshoe Crab. Pick it up today or enjoy free shipping!" it reads.
What algorithmic fever dream landed us here? Did I somehow say "arthropod" out loud near my iPhone? More importantly, is Nordstrom pivoting to marine biology chic? These are the pressing late-night questions you, too, could soon be confronted with.
Then, you may suddenly find yourself wondering not if you need a prehistoric sea creature in your house, but how many.
To save you from a midnight crustacean crisis, here's everything you need to know about the Nordstrom horseshoe crab toy.
First of all, it's included under the "education and STEM" section of the retailer's toy category, and the listing features some pretty... interesting photos. You can see how your potential new purchase would look at home, seemingly next to a sand pail and shovel sitting on your hardwood floor, as well as if you were to carry it by the tail down the beach. How versatile!
The toy itself is seven inches long and "accurately" represents the iconic shape of the horseshoe crab, a creature that's remained "unchanged for hundreds of millions of years." I guess that's pretty cool unless all the little legs underneath just freak you out.
Nordstrom
Either way, it seems that multiple people have already bought the bizarre toy and felt compelled to leave their (hilarious) reviews on the Nordstrom site.
"I purchased this majestic plastic horseshoe crab, whom I have named Emperor Clackimus Rex, as a joke. Now he rules my household with silent authority," wrote one customer.
"Day 1: I placed him on the mantle. My cat hasn’t blinked since. Day 3: I caught my Roomba circling him like a sacrificial offering. Day 5: My husband called him “sir” without realizing it. Day 7: We no longer question his presence. We merely obey," they continued.
"He accompanies me to work in my tote bag. People respect me more. My boss gave me a raise. Coincidence? Emperor Clackimus thinks not. He does not move, yet I swear he is never in the same place twice. He has witnessed all. Judged all. If you gaze too long into his beady molded eyes, he gazes back. Is this a toy? A deity? A misunderstood oracle from the ancient plastic seas? Who’s to say? Buy him. But be warned: once he enters your life, you don’t own him. He owns you."
Nordstrom
Another buyer claimed to "love" their horseshoe crab, which they named Seth, and doesn't seem to regret the purchase whatsoever:
"Love my crab! I named it Seth. It's fun to play with Seth, but also fun to just gaze at him from across the room. He fits perfectly in the purse I used to use to carry my possum, Kevin, so he goes everywhere with me. Definitely money well spent," they said.
Nonetheless, another reviewer called out some... false advertising?
"These horseshoes run way too large for my horse's petite feet," they joked.
Anyway, whether you have kids interested in marine life or just want to spruce up your summer home decor in a ridiculous way, check out the horseshoe crab toy. At the very least, the reviews won't disappoint!
Subscribe to our newsletter for more shopping news and standout stories!
Brit + Co may at times use affiliate links to promote products sold by others, but always offers genuine editorial recommendations.
