5 Doubts You Might Have After Moving In Together — And How to Deal With Them

moving in together

You and your significant other have decided to move in together. You're picking out a new sofa and dreaming about how amazing it will be to cook breakfast together every Saturday morning. In the weeks after the move-in, it's likely to feel pretty idyllic. You're awash in the honeymoon period, so thrilled to be sharing a home that nothing can shake you. But then things get a little dicey.

A few weeks or months after you've moved in together, you may start to question things. And that's perfectly normal. You've just taken a major step in your relationship, and growing pains are totally real, so don't let your doubts derail your future plans with your S.O. Experts say these five doubts are especially common. Here's how to deal.

1. Is Our Relationship Moving at the "Right" Pace?

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“After moving in together, many couples notice they have doubts about the progression of their relationship," licensed psychotherapist Christine Scott-Hudson says. “Each partner may experience uncertainty about their own or their partner's timing and may suffer if they relate their partner's faster pace to being pushed or their partner's slower pace to feeling unappreciated or undervalued." Once you're sharing a space with your S.O. 24/7, you may be more sensitive than ever to the fact that you're not on the same page about things like engagement, in-laws, children, and more. If you're experiencing doubt about how — and how quickly — your relationship is moving forward, start talking about it with bae ASAP. See if you can recalibrate your expectations and open up communication.

2. How Should We Be Handling Our Finances?

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There are plenty of romantic elements about moving in with a partner, but money is also at play… and that's not so romantic. If you and your significant other didn't have an extensive conversation about finances before the move-in actually happened, you may be finding that your new roomie has financial habits that make you feel uncomfortable now that you're sharing bills. Certified mental health professional and relationship expert from Maple Holistics Adina Mahalli suggests seeking outside help when possible for this kind of issue. Sign up for a financial management class together to help put those doubts at ease. If that's not doable for you, try setting up a very clear budget so you can get back on the same page.

3. Can I Handle These Quirks Full-Time?

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In the glow of a new relationship, your sweetie's idiosyncrasies may seem more cute than annoying. But when you're dealing with them front and center, day in and day out? Maybe not so much. “Once you move in together, your rose-colored glasses start to wear off and seemingly endearing traits become more irritating and harder to overlook," DatingScout dating expert Celia Schweyer notes. “Living together means you have to experience real life with your partner." Navigating those real-life annoyances while keeping your relationship strong requires communication and compromise, Schweyer says. Speak up (respectfully) about the habits that bother you, and come to the table with suggestions that will allow you and your partner to live in harmony without changing who you are. It's better than bottling up your frustration and becoming resentful.

4. What if We Start To Feel Like Roommates?

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If, after living together for a while, you and your S.O. start to feel less like romantic partners and more like, well, roomies, don't panic. It happens. But it may create some doubt. Matchmaker, relationship expert, and Platinum Poire founder Rori Sassoon tells us that roommate syndrome can be solved by putting in some serious mutual work. Both of you will need to step up your game, communicate, and figure out how to get the dynamic back on track.

5. What If My Partner Starts to Hate My Quirks?

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Just as you might suddenly doubt your relationship because your significant other's quirks are on display full-time, you may start to get insecure about how they perceive your quirks. “You will become more relaxed in your own home and less willing or able to keep up a show," marriage coach and relationship expertLesli Doares says. “This isn't necessarily a bad thing, but it can come as a surprise." Be open-minded about hearing your partner's feedback and don't shy away from trying to improve on some of the habits that cause issues.

RELATED: 7 Tips You Need to Know When Moving in With Your Significant Other

This post has been updated.

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Rom-coms are having a moment RN. Between Lindsay Lohan's Irish Wish, Anne Hathaway's The Idea Of You, and Zendaya's Challengers, our hearts are bursting from all the love and romance. But even though romantic comedy relationships are portrayed as #relationshipgoals, many on-screen romances are actually riddled with toxic dynamics and unhealthy behaviors. Christie Tcharkhoutian, professional matchmaker for Los Angeles-based Three Day Rule, revealed to us why four of our fave romantic movie fictional couples should be written off as inspo for you and your S.O.

Juliet and Mark in "Love Actually"

Image via Universal Studios Home Entertainment

Problematic Message: Love is the most exciting when it’s forbidden.

Even if you haven’t seen the romantic comedy, you’ve definitely seen the GIFs: Andrew Lincoln, playing Mark, professing his love for Keira Knightley’s character through handwritten signs, one of which reads the famous line, “To me, you are perfect.” Yes, it’s ultra-romantic — until you look a little closer. “Although we all love an honest display of love, making a play and expressing your love for your best friend’s wife is not a good start for a relationship, on or off screen,” Tcharkhoutian says.

And the most harmful part of these fictional narratives is that they only show a fraction, if any, of the fallout. “This is a toxic dynamic that devalues the dignity of marriage and romanticizes the idea of being in love with someone who is ‘off-limits,’ without portraying the harsh realities of this kind of basis for a relationship,” Tcharkhoutian explains.

Andie and Ben in "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days"

Image via Paramount Pictures

Problematic Message: A relationship that began with ulterior motives can become healthy and functional.

There’s no denying that Kate Hudson and Matthew McConaughey are a dreamy pair, but in this movie, their relationship is a nightmare. Their quick rise to love is certainly entertaining, but the foundation of their relationship makes it impossible to exist outside of fiction.

The two meet as means to prove themselves at their respective jobs, and in true rom-com fashion, their supposedly real feelings take off from there. Tcharkhoutian cautions against this behavior in real life. “This can set up a relationship to be something in which a person is objectified as a vehicle to help you meet your needs, instead of a mutual union and partnership with pure and honest motives of loving each other through thick and thin,” she says.

Lucy and Jack in "While You Were Sleeping"

Image via Walt Disney Studios Home Entertainment

Problematic Message: Falling in love with the idea of someone can result in a happy ending.

No one can resist a Sandra Bullock romantic comedy, so it’s no surprise this movie is still revered as a classic of the genre. It has all the necessary components: an unrealistic plot (she saves a man’s life, is confused for his fiancée by his family, and then falls in love with his brother while he’s in a coma — like, come on!), a handsome boy-next-door lead and, of course, love. However, much like the relationship in How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, the foundation is faulty.

Falling in love with the idea of someone, as Sandra Bullock’s character does, doesn’t equate to falling in love with the actual person, Tcharkhoutian clarifies, and to start a relationship with this basis in real life is ill-advised.

Amanda and Graham in "The Holiday"

Image via Sony Pictures Home Entertainment

Problematic Message: True love lies in the next adventure, which is far from your hometown and your past relationship.

Who hasn’t dreamt of traveling to a foreign country; staying in a cozy, remote cottage; and falling in love with someone even half as good-looking as Jude Law? Well, there’s a reason it’s a mere fantasy. Tcharkhoutian describes the phenomenon in The Holiday movie as escapism — the idea that you need to escape from your day-to-day life to find true happiness or, in this case, true love.

Although it’s fun to dream, if taken too far, this particular romantic comedy mentality can lead to irrational expectations. “This escapism mentality can create a false belief that international [relationships] are sustainable in the long-term,” Tcharkhoutian remarks. “True healthy relationships survive and thrive in the everyday, mundane routine, not in the exciting international adventure that depends on thrill and distance.”

Which rom-com couples stay together?

Image via Netflix

However, there are PLENTY of romantic comedy relationships we love! Some of our favorites include Nick and Rachel in Crazy Rich Asians, Matty and Jenna in 13 Going on 30, Harry and Sally in Meg Ryan's When Harry Met Sally, Elle and Emmett in Legally Blonde, and Peter and Lara Jean in To All The Boys I've Loved Before.

What other romantic comedy fictional couples should be on this list? Let us know @BritandCo.

Lead image via Paramount Pictures

This post has been updated.

Challengers is honestly just one giant tennis match. While we watch Zendaya's Tashi, Mike Faist's Art, and Josh O'Connor's Patrick play the game in a literal sense, we also see their personal relationship spiral, ricocheting back and forth as each character plays a different role every couple of years. And the crazy Challengers ending is a culmination of this intense emotional journey because it solidifies Patrick, Tashi, and Art's relationship — both to one another, but also to tennis itself.

What did the ending of The Challengers mean?

Image via Niko Tavernise/Amazon MGM Studios

There is a lot of tension between Tashi, Art, and Patrick throughout the movie, and it all builds to the titular Challenger match. It's Art vs. Patrick, and they're playing for way more than just the title and the money (though of course, they're definitely playing for the title and the money) — this is one final chance to prove themselves to Tashi, who's sitting court-side looking very unimpressed.

Both men lose their cool during different sets, but it's in the third and final set that everything comes to a head. At the end of the match, Patrick confesses to sleeping with Tashi using a tennis ball and racket signal only Art recognizes. For a split second Art is is complete shock, and I expected him to completely lose it. And, technically, he does, but in a totally unexpected way. Rather than jump the net and punch Patrick in the face, Art channels his emotions into his tennis, and the fury he feels actually allows him break through whatever slump he's been stuck in.

Unable to have a conversation about Patrick's secret, Art and Patrick talk with their serves and returns. And because Tashi doesn't catch the signal, for the first time in the whole movie, she's cut out of the conversation.

Did Tashi love Art and Patrick?

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Tashi's been pulling the strings ever since she met Art and Patrick, and she's never not been in control. After Patrick sends the signal, she knows something is going on between them, she just doesn't know what — and it unnerves her. Thanks to Zendaya's expert subtlety, the twitch of her eyebrow or the particularly anxious way she grips her hands are the only things that give her away. But her confusion, and the men's anger, quickly turn to pure joy in the final moments of the movie.

Patrick and Art end up playing so intensely that they meet at the net and embrace, prompting Tashi's iconic tennis yell before she gives one of her first genuine laughs of the film and the screen cuts to black. The first time I saw the movie, I thought "What?!" but the more I think about it, the clearer the Challengers ending is.

Patrick and Art (whose relationship begins six or seven years before the movie opens) haven't spoken since the big fight surrounding Tashi's injury, and their hug proves they're just happy to be playing together again. It's what they've always loved, and their fight over Tashi almost ended it forever. Tashi's pure elation shows she's happy to watch some good tennis, especially after she failed to help Art break out of his rut.

We've only seen Tashi scream like that once before, when she admits to a perfect tennis match. While Tashi does care for Patrick and Art, the end of Challengers proves the characters' true love was never really each other — it was always the game.

What did you think of the Challengers ending? After you rewatch the movie (and then rewatch it again), check out the other Most-Anticipated Spring Movies For 2024.

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One of the first rules we learn is the golden rule: Treat others how you want to be treated. While that sentiment has bearing in many aspects of life, The Five Love Languages, a book-turned-relationship-phenomenon by Gary Chapman, has completely turned the golden rule on its own head. When it comes to romantic relationships, the book says not to treat others how you want to be treated, but how they want to be treated — simply because everyone expresses and receives love differently.

Whether you’re moving in together, finally having the “money talk,” or thinking about getting back together, the five love languages can seriously change the way your relationship works. But don’t take our word for it; couples and family therapist Earl Lewis says that the five love languages can help you understand more about how to be the best self and partner you can be.

“It’s very simple,” he says. “The concept of the five love languages is this: This is what’s important to me, and I need you to validate that for me to feel like this relationship is progressing and going well.”

Words of Affirmation

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If you’re like Dr. Lewis, your love language means that you need verbal validation from your partner. “If I’m in a dating relationship, I need someone to validate what I’m feeling and how our relationship is going,” he said.

Acts of Service

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People whose love language is acts of service cherish the idea that actions speak louder than words. They notice when you help them with little tasks like taking the trash out or cleaning a shared space.

Receiving Gifts

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If your love language is receiving gifts, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you just like material things; for some people, a gift is a physical manifestation of what your relationship means to them.

Quality Time

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Take notice if your partner’s love language is quality time: It means that they care deeply about having your undivided attention. That’s not to say that you have to spend a lot of time with them — it simply means that to them, your time together is precious.

Physical Touch

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Snugglers and huggers, unite! People whose love language is touch thrive on positive physical interaction.

Knowing your love language is important, but Dr. Lewis says that it’s even more important to be able to communicate it with your partner.

“Your love language is what’s meaningful for you, and once you find that, you have to help your partner understand it,” he said.

Want in on what the five love languages can offer? Read about them here, then take the online 5 love languages quiz to figure out which one fits your relationship style best.

What’s your love language? Let us know@BritandCo! This post has been updated.

While it's always nice to see something realistic represented in our favorite TV shows, there are few things more painful than watching a TV breakup. Even when we don't actually know fictional characters IRL, it's absolutely devastating to see them break each other's hearts. (Although, it's equally as bad as never seeing your favorite prospective couple get together — I will never forgive The 100 for what they did to Clarke and Bellamy!!).

Keep reading to see some of our most heartbreaking splits — and then check outWhat Being Team Conrad Or Jeremiah Says About Your Dream TV Boyfriendto put a smile back on your face.

Image via NBC

Ross and Rachel from Friends

Friends is one of the most iconic sitcoms of all times, and Ross and Rachel is definitely one of the most devastating TV breakups. In season 3, this iconic couple decides to take a break in and in "The One with the Morning After," Ross wakes up with another woman named Chloe at the exact moment Rachel shows up at his door. Rachel finds out about the affair, and after a fight in Monica's living room, the couple calls it quits.

Regardless of how you feel about Ross claiming they "were on a break" when he slept with Chloe, seeing Rachel's reaction (and knowing the trust between them was broken) is one of the worst moments in the whole show. Just thinking about it makes my stomach bottom out!

Image via The CW/WB

Rory and Jess from Gilmore Girls

This is one of my personal most-devastating TV breakups because it seems like, out of all of Rory's boyfriends, Rory and Jess are just perfect for each other when they start dating. Not only does their love of books bring them closer together, but their personalities are so compatible. But when Jess leaves for California at the end of season 3 — without saying anything to Rory, I might add — is unacceptable! It breaks my heart, and based on the final look he gives Rory during A Year in the Life, he also regrets it BIG TIME.

Image via The CW/WB

Damon and Elena from The Vampire Diaries

This Vampire Diaries couple was truly endgame, and the will-they-won't-they of it all was one of my favorite things about the show. So when they broke up (to my horror), I was devastated.

Damon and Elena admit they're bad for each other in the season 5 episode "While You Were Sleeping" (then Damon tells her he doesn't even want to be friends. Ouch!!), but it's the season finale, "Home," that makes me extra emotional. When Damon gets stuck with Bonnie on the Other Side, he says goodbye to Elena, who's begging him not to leave but can neither see nor hear him. Say it with me: gut! wrenching!

Image via Erika Doss/Prime Video

Conrad and Belly from The Summer I Turned Pretty

The Summer I Turned Pretty fans are PASSIONATE about whether they're team Conrad or team Jeremiah (trick question, my OTP is Taylor and Stephen), and even the most dedicated Conrad stan hates the prom scene. You know, when he breaks up with Belly at her prom, in the rain. I know he just thinks Belly deserves better, but it's still very painful to watch.

Image via FOX

Schmidt and Cece from New Girl

When I hear "devastating TV breakup" I IMMEDIATELY think of Schmidt and Cece from New Girl. Schmidt gets away with a lot of ridiculous things throughout this show, but dating two girls at one time is not one of them. After Nick has a hard time keeping Schmidt's love life a secret, Schmidt finally comes clean to Cece in "Double Date," leaving both her and me in tears. No matter how many times you rewatch the show, it truly feels like their relationship (and maybe even the friend group) will never recover.

Image via BBC/Prime Video

Fleabag and The Priest on Fleabag

In the history of TV, I don't think I've ever heard anything as heartbreaking as "I love you," "It'll pass." Like, who approved that line?! The viral moment comes at the end of the Fleabag series finale, when Fleabag is sitting with The Priest at the bus stop. Over the course of the series, we not only see how much these two care about each other, but how well they know each other (like how The Priest recognizes when Fleabag zones out). To be loved is to be known, and that's what makes this devastating TV breakup even more devastating.

Image via HBO

Carrie and Aidan on Sex and the City

After so much back and forth, it's hard to accept Carrie and Aidan's final breakup on SATC. But in season 4's "Change of a Dress," Carrie realizes she's not ready for marriage and Aidan realizes he doesn't trust her after her affair with Big. The combo of broken trust and being at two different life stages makes this extra painful to watch, and I don't think any amount of rewatches (or And Just Like That binges) is going to change that.

What's YOUR most devastating TV breakup? Let us know on Facebook!

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Sophia Bush and Ashlyn Harris caused quite a stir at Elton John's Oscars afterparty, but for good reason! After dodging dating rumors for quite awhile, they dressed to impress and made their first public debut as a couple! Sophia even wore her best accessory — a mega-watt smile — that further confirms this blissful pair.

While some people love to know whencelebrity couples fell in love, the details about Sophia Bush and Ashlyn Harris' relationship have people wondering when this couple actually got together. Well, our wait is over because Sophia decided to open about what led to her romance with Ashlyn Harris and why certain rumors hold no merit!

Since we're clearly tuned in to this love story, here's everything you need to know about Sophia Bush and Ashlyn Harris's relationship!

Who is Sophia Bush?

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Sophia Bush has had a lengthy career as an actress, and she's most recognized for her portrayal of Brooke Davis in the hit TV series One Tree Hill. She's also appeared in Nip/Tuck, Chicago Fire, Incredibles 2, and John Tucker Must Die. When she's not showing off her acting chops, she hosts the Drama Queens podcast alongside former One Tree Hill castmates Hilarie Burton and Bethany Joy Lenz!

Who is Ashlyn Harris?

Image via Jamie McCarthy/Getty Images for W Magazine

Ashlyn Harris is a former U.S. soccer player who had a successful run — no pun intended — as a goalkeeper during the career. She also won the 2015 FIFA Women's World Cup in Canada and continued making an impressionable mark. However, she announced her retirementin 2022 and — per her Instagrampage — has gone on to become the Global Creative Advisor for Gotham FC and Adidas Football.

When did the dating rumors about Sophia Bush and Ashlyn Harris start?

Image via Frazer Harrison/Getty Images and Frazer Harrison/Getty Images

June 2023

Rumors about a possible connection between Sophia Bush and Ashlyn Harris swirled last summer when Cosmopolitanreported they were on a panel at Cannes Lion International Festival of Creativity. Sophia shared a pic of the two at the festival on Instagramand wrote, "Love you @ashlynharris24 and @sophieannkelly" towards the end of her caption.

A source told Page Six, "It’s very new...They are definitely a couple.” But, Sophia Bush and Ashlyn Harris didn't confirm or deny anything at that time.

When did Sophia Bush file for divorce from Grant Hughes?

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August 2023

A couple of months after Sophia Bush and Ashlyn Harris were seen getting cozy together, Sophia filed for divorce from her former husband Grant Hughes. Peopleshared that they were only married for a little over a year — 13 months — but didn't end on a bad terms. A source then told Entertainment Tonight, "Grant and Sophia are better off as friends and they weren’t getting enough time with each other before their breakup."

When did Ashlyn Harris and Ali Krieger file for divorce?

Image via Roy Rochlin/Getty Images

October 2023

While things seemed to quiet down, Ashlyn Harris soon filed for divorce from Ali Krieger after getting married towards the end of 2019. What's interesting is that a source told Peoplethis decision wasn't surprising. "Although it’s new information to the public, Ashlyn and Ali’s divorce began months ago and they have been living apart since the summer,” the source said.

This is also around the time it was speculated Sophia Bush and Ashlyn Harris had their first official date. A rep told People, "Grant will always want the best for Sophia, and is supportive of all that makes her happy and fulfilled." We guess it helps he and Sophia had a solid friendship before getting married!

As for Ali Krieger, she basically let the world know things were business as usual with an Instagrampost. She captioned a pic of her playing soccer with, "Preparing for playoffs while in my Beyoncé lemonade era." A comment from user @lgbtlfg said, "the fact that a lot of players in these comment’s usually mind their business and stay out of drama but are supporting ali should tell everyone all they need to know."

The only thing Ashlyn said about it on Instagramis that she never intended for her and Ali's divorce to be made a public matter. A portion of her note says, "This process is never easy, but we were making our way through."

Have Sophia Bush and Ashlyn Harris publicly talked about their relationship?

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March 2024

Besides showing up to Elton John's Oscars afterparty together, Sophia Bush and Ashlyn Harris were previously tight-lipped about their relationship. The only hint Sophia offered was much more of a reflective post about 2023 on Instagramat the beginning of January. She said, "This year taught me to listen to myself and no one else. To let go of expectation that wounds and grasp possibility that frees. To not care about optics and instead invest in honesty."

But, she's since chosen to own where she is in life.

Image via Lauren Dukoff/Glamour Magazine

Sophia Bush on the cover of Glamour Magazine

April 2024

Sophia Bush has now reached a point where she's publicly ready to stand in her truth regarding her life and her relationship status so much that she penned her own cover story for Glamour. The first thing she did was open up about how she really felt about her marriage and fertility struggles.

She wrote, "But after the wedding I found myself in the depths and heartbreak of the fertility process, which was the most clarifying experience of my life. It feels like society is finally making space for brutally honest conversations about how hard and painful any fertility journey is, but I kept mine private. I was trying to get through months of endless ultrasounds, hormone shots, so many blood draws that I have scar tissue in my veins, and retrieval after retrieval, while simultaneously realizing the person I had chosen to be my partner didn’t necessarily speak the same emotional language I did.”

Image via Lauren Dukoff/Glamour Magazine

As far as her relationship with Ashlyn Harris is concerned, the star is enjoying the love that exists between them. Contrary to alleged rumors, their initial relationship was a platonic one that stemmed from a place of understanding and support.

She told Glamour,I didn’t expect to find love in this support system. I don’t know how else to say it other than: I didn’t see it until I saw it. And I think it’s very easy not to see something that’s been in front of your face for a long time when you’d never looked at it as an option and you had never been looked at as an option. What I saw was a friend with her big, happy life. And now I know she thought the same thing about me.”

She also added, "A lot of effort was made to be graceful with other people’s processing, their time and obligations, and their feelings. What felt like seconds after I started to see what was in front of me, the online rumor mill began to spit in the ugliest ways. There were blatant lies. Violent threats. There were the accusations of being a home-wrecker. The ones who said I’d left my ex because I suddenly realized I wanted to be with women—my partners have known what I’m into for as long as I have (so that’s not it, y’all, sorry!).”

Image via Lauren Dukoff/Glamour Magazine

It's safe to say that Sophia Bush is thoroughly comfortable with her love life and identity as a queer woman. She said, "I’ve experienced so much safety, respect, and love in the queer community, as an ally all of my life, that, as I came into myself, I already felt it was my home. I think I’ve always known that my sexuality exists on a spectrum. Right now I think the word that best defines it is queer. I can’t say it without smiling, actually. And that feels pretty great.”

And this is what it looks like to reclaim your narrative when so many people are looking at a brief glimpse of the lives of celebrities. We love that Sophia Bush and Ashlyn Harris are loving each other on their terms without feeling pressured to share anything before they were ready to. Our hope is that their love story continues to unfold beautifully.

Be sure to watch Sophia Bush's interview with Glamour's Editor-in-Chief Samantha Barry here!

Full Credits From Glamour Magazine:

Writer: Sophia Bush

Photographer: Lauren Dukoff

Stylist: Deborah Afshani

Hair: Matthew Collins

Makeup: Afton Williams

Manicure: Brittney Boyce

Have Sophia Bush and Ashlyn Harris made their official red carpet debut?

Image via Tasos Katopodis/Getty Images for Kimball Stroud & Associates

April 27, 2024

Per Glamour, Sophia Bush and Ashlyn made their official red carpet debut as a couple on Friday. They attended the White House Correspondent's dinner where they were dressed to impress in complementing black ensembles.

It's easy to see the glowing couple couldn't stop laughing and smiling as they posed for pictures that seemed to capture every good angle of their faces and style.

Image via Paul Morigi/Getty Images

After the dinner, Sophia Bush and Ashlyn Harris posed for more pictures on the red carpet leading to the Correspondent's after-party. Now that we're able to see their full faces, we have to talk about how well their hair and makeup complements their outfits. It's clear that Ashlyn's contour and bronzer were expertly applied to her face while Sophia's blush gave her a natural flush.

*Sigh* Their smiles are the only confirmation we need that they're enjoying the bliss of being a couple.

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This article has been updated.

Lead image via Paul Morigi/Getty Images