A Thoughtful Guide To Going No-Contact With Your Parents

1. Don’t Feel Guilt-Tripped By Family Members

Since the beginning of time, there’s been this popularized idea that blood is thicker than water. Essentially, what this saying means is that your blood relatives are more important than anyone else who might come and go from your life, who is not related to you.

While I do appreciate this sentiment that family always comes first, I think it’s unfair to suggest that this applies to every family unit, since many people come from toxic households where they don’t feel seen, heard, or safe at home. Sometimes, people who grow up in unsafe environments have to create their own found families, whether through friendships or romantic relationships. Not everyone has the privilege of growing up in a loving household, so the idea that blood is thicker than water doesn’t always hold true.

If enduring a toxic relationship with a parent brings more harm to your life than joy, don’t feel guilt-tripped into sticking around just because they’re the one who raised you. Don’t feel guilt-tripped by the parent in question or other relatives who feel as though an estrangement brings shame upon the family. In all honesty, these are antiquated viewpoints. Now more than ever, people are prioritizing their own safety and sanity over external judgment.

2. Seek Professional Help From Someone Who Specializes In Estranged Family Dynamics

Find a reliable therapist who specializes in dealing with estranged families. When seeking professional support, it’s always a good idea to find people who understand the dynamics at play so they can provide the best possible strategies for going no contact. Professionals who specialize in family trauma can be excellent resources in this situation.

3. Find Support Groups With People Who Can Relate

Knowing you’re not alone in this estrangement can be extremely helpful and comforting. Whether that’s through real-life support groups or online forums, there are always opportunities to talk with like-minded individuals who might share similar experiences as you.

4. Remember Why You Decided To Go No-Contact In The First Place

If you find yourself wracked with guilt, just remember that this is a normal reaction, and it doesn’t mean you made the wrong choice by deciding to go no contact. It just means you’re an empathetic person who cares deeply for your mother/father, yet you are self-aware enough to realize that they’re not good for your mental health.

If you decided to go NC, there’s a high chance you’ve exhausted every other option, and yet nothing worked. As much as you try to make things right, it always feels like the roles in your relationship are reversed: that somehow they’re the child, and you’re the parent, when it’s supposed to be the other way around.

Remember that your main priority right now is protecting yourself and your well-being. With these resources, you’ll feel much more confident in your decision without the overwhelming guilt that you’re letting your parent down. Since they’ve let you down time and time again without any hope of improvement, it’s time for you to choose yourself.