Breakups can be really confusing and difficult for many reasons. But after you’ve pushed past the initial blow and moved on, what if you and your partner find your way to each other again? Getting back together with your S.O. can be as exciting as it is scary. April Masini, the relationship expert and author behind askapril.com, has some tips for navigating this transitional period.
“Some breakups bring fatal incompatibilities to the surface,” Masini says. “Others bring issues you can work on and improve on to the surface. Learn what’s going on in your relationship by using the breakup as a tool.”
Before you consider how to use your breakup, it’s important to step back and make sure getting back together is a good idea in the first place. To do this, Masini encourages couples to figure out why they broke up. Some couples, she says, are “serial breakup and makeup artists,” which points to underlying incompatibility. Others break up for circumstantial reasons. Once you understand what went wrong, you can be in a much better place when it comes to fixing it.
Whether cheating was the cause of your split or there were issues with your in-laws, Masini recommends addressing the root cause of the breakup head-on; that way, you can move forward and not have to dwell too much on the past. “Be honest with yourself and, as a couple, try to address the reasons that lead up to the breakup,” she says. “If there are modifications that you and your partner can make to improve the relationship and guard it against breakups, try to do so.”
An important element that Masini talks about when it comes to getting back together with your partner is improvement. If you and your significant other have made the decision to get back together, it’s important to make that decision with the intention of improving your relationship — not just fixing what was broken before. There are many goals that relationships work toward, and a breakup is a great catalyst for helping your union grow in the direction you want it to. For example, if you and your partner broke up because your communication while dating long distance was poor, aim to get back together with the intention of improving upon that communication. No matter what was broken, Masini says, don’t just fix it — make it even better.
What helped you and your S.O. get back together after a split? Let us know @BritandCo!
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