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It’s been a long-running debate whether birth order actually affects siblings’ personalities. The youngest is often seen as the spoiled one, the middle is the independent peacemaker, and the oldest, a perfectionist. While many outside factors can shape a personality trait, birth order certainly plays a role in how we grow up and relate to the world. The middle child, sometimes nicknamed the “forgotten child,” is known for their individualistic streak. They often learn to carve out their own path, blending in when needed but also finding ways to stand apart. This group of siblings tends to pride themselves on being free thinkers who don’t always follow the same mold as their brothers or sisters.
Scroll to find out everything to know about middle child syndrome.
Photo by Maryia Plashchynskaya
What Is Middle Child Syndrome?
Middle child syndrome is the term used to describe feelings of being overlooked or ignored within a family dynamic. Middle children often end up working harder to grab their parents’ attention, while also feeling pressured to play peacekeeper between siblings.
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What Are the Symptoms of Middle Child Syndrome?
If a middle child is struggling with this, they might show signs such as:
- Feeling overlooked or neglected: Believing they get less attention compared to older and younger siblings.
- Difficulty finding their place: Struggling to define their role in the family and often comparing themselves to siblings.
- People-pleasing tendencies: Going out of their way to make everyone happy, in hopes of gaining approval.
- Rebelliousness: On the flip side, some middle children may act out to stand out.
- Strong independence: Growing a sense of self-reliance from having to figure things out on their own.
Photo by Danik Prihodko
What Can Parents Do to Prevent Middle Child Syndrome?
Parents can play a huge role in avoiding this dynamic. Listening to your middle child and making sure their voice is heard can help them feel safe and valued. It’s also important not to trap them in the cycle of hand-me-downs, whether that’s clothes, toys, or even hobbies. Encourage middle children to pursue their own passions instead of simply following in their siblings’ footsteps. When a middle child develops their own identity, they’ll feel like they hold a unique and intricate place in the family rather than being the “in-between.”
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How Can Middle Children Heal From This Dynamic?
If you grew up as the middle child, there are ways to reclaim your identity and confidence. Start by setting goals and celebrating achievements that aren’t based on comparisons to siblings. This helps build a sense of accomplishment that is yours alone.
Most importantly, validate your own experience. Recognizing that feeling overlooked is a common feeling most middle children experience is often the first step in letting go of feelings of inadequacy. In practicing awareness and self-acceptance, being the middle child can shift from a challenge into a strength, fueling independence, creativity, and individuality.
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