There are certain shows that we all watch over and over — Friends, Law & Order, Parks and Rec, Sex and the City — it’s like our collective consciousness embraced these particular shows as a meditative balm for our often anxious, always busy minds. But there’s maybe no show more universally comforting, nostalgic, and zen-inducing than The Office. Even Michael’s outrageous office horror stories and the most cringeworthy office moments somehow bring us a sense of peace. And while there’s a chance we’d never actually want to work at Dunder Mifflin’s Scranton branch, we were curious who at the office we’d match best with on a cosmic level. If you’re also curious, read on to find out your astrological cubical mate.
ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 19)
Ryan Howard: Ambitious, impulsive, confident, and moody — you and Ryan are two peas in a pod. Ryan has that Arian fire that drives his decisions, working his way up from a temp to becoming the VP of the northeastern branches (with no shortage of that confident swagger you know so well). You’re both charming and energetic, with an assertive personality that most often gets you exactly where you want to go.
TAURUS (APRIL 20-MAY 20)
Oscar Martinez: You’ve got a fulfilling, rich life outside of work that often involves a bottle of wine, great cheese, your couch, and a new documentary. Oscar definitely isn’t one to overshare at work, but from the small glimpses we get into his real life, it’s clear he’s got that Taurus love of cooking, music, and all things cultural.
GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 20)
Pam Beasley: Pam is one of the few office employees who pursues creative interests outside of work — something you can definitely relate to. There’s a shared curiosity here for the world that’s bigger than your commute — and you’re always up for engaging and honest conversations about all of it. No doubt if you were ever offered an opportunity to expand your talents with a working internship in another city, you’d be on the first train north too, because what’s better than learning something new?
CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 22)
Jim Halpert: Everyone loves Jim — because of all his Cancerian personality traits, obviously. You’re both fiercely loyal to your loved ones, highly imaginative (his intricate pranks on Dwight are legendary), and are super sensitive to the feelings of those around you. Somehow, you always know the right thing to do to make someone feel better, whether it’s simply a sympathetic ear, a spontaneous adventure, or a good laugh.
LEO (JULY 23-AUGUST 22)
Michael Scott: Has anyone ever craved the spotlight more than Michael Scott? Only you, Leo! No doubt you were both voted class clown in high school, forever seeking attention and putting on a show to get a good reaction. Not that we’re complaining — your innate sense of showmanship keeps us forever entertained (if also off-task).
VIRGO (AUGUST 23-SEPTEMBER 22)
Angela Martin: There’s a right way to do everything — your way. Yes, you share Angela’s strict perfectionist tendencies and can sometimes be a little too critical of those around you, but it comes from a place of love — you have high standards for everyone (including yourself). That innately hard-working and practical side means you sometimes get lost in work, with little time for play, so make sure to take a conscious time out to play with your cats. Or have a tryst in a broom closet — your choice. Just have some fun!
LIBRA (SEPTEMBER 23-OCTOBER 22)
Phyllis Vance: While everyone else in the office was busy dealing with their own drama, Phyllis quietly and proudly built a comfortable, secure, and happy life for herself and Bob Vance, of Vance Refrigeration. She also somehow managed to stay out of the (often insane) office politics, keeping herself at a diplomatic distance, a classic Libra move if we ever saw one.
SCORPIO (OCTOBER 23-NOVEMBER 21)
Meredith Palmer: Mysterious, secretive, and obsessed with her love life, Meredith Palmer was totally a Scorpio in another life. How else to explain her random outbursts, ongoing relationship saga, and propensity to over-indulge? There’s also her ability to persevere in the face of adversity (contracting rabies, getting run over by Michael, having her hair set on fire, etc.) — she’s resourceful and brave, just like someone else we know.
SAGITTARIUS (NOVEMBER 22-DECEMBER 21)
Darryl Philbin: You’re a smart cookie, Sag. And Darryl is definitely one of the smartest people at the entire Scranton branch. You’re both thoughtful, generous leaders who appreciate honesty above all else. And there’s no one funnier in the zodiac or the office than you and Darryl. Because of that charm, you’re fun to be around and everyone wants to be your friend.
CAPRICORN (DECEMBER 22-JANUARY 19)
Dwight Schrute: Even if he’s perpetually the assistant to the regional manager, Dwight is incredibly loyal to Michael and dedicated to his work — classic Capricorn. He’s also a low-key hustler, working a corporate gig by day and beet farming on the weekends, which shows that Dwight has your same need to succeed. Plus, he likes status symbols as much as you do (would you look at that car?).
AQUARIUS (JANUARY 20-FEBRUARY 18)
Creed Bratton: No one at the office quite knows what to make of Creed, and you similarly defy pigeonholing. You’re independent thinkers, a little eccentric, and always down to have a good time. You’re immediately accepting of all types of people with little regard for stereotypes and the status quo — the weirder, the better in your book. Instead, you live life as you experience it and relish the surprises along the way. Even though it’s often necessary to survive, office life isn’t for you.
PISCES (FEBRUARY 19-MARCH 20)
Kelly Kapoor: Hopeless romantics, the both of you (and we wouldn’t have it any other way)! Kelly keeps her head in the clouds and cuts through the drudgery of office life with a healthy dose of idealism. You’re obviously on board with this, since you’re a similarly gentle, intuitive soul who seeks out beauty wherever you can to keep yourself centered and calm. She may be a little more high energy than you, but we think that boundless enthusiasm would be a welcome addition to your inner circle.
Who do you want to see play the new Michael Scott in the Office re-boot? Tweet us @BritandCo.
(Photos via NBC Universal)