I'm Stuck: How to Break Out Of A Post-Grad Rut

“As I went through a very long journey of finding I did have a mental health diagnosis — and then I was misdiagnosed and then I had to go through that — I was blessed to have the resources to do that,” Teefey, who received an ADHD and trauma diagnosis after a 20-year bipolar misdiagnosis, says. “Whenever I started my journey of discovering what mental condition I had…I didn't have anybody to lean into or explain the way I was feeling.”

While these personal experiences helped Teefey better understand mental health, it wasn’t until she produced Netflix’s 2017 series 13 Reasons Whythat she saw just how far the mental health conversation goes. The hit show went viral almost as soon as it aired because of its realistic depiction of mental health and all the aftershocks of trauma.

“After we did 13 Reasons Why and saw the reaction and the need for that support, me and Selena were trying to really figure out what could be next,” Teefey says. “Everybody was releasing things [at] different times. It's like you have to have 12 apps to have a program, and then remember to use them all. So that's when we decided to create a mental fitness ecosystem. So it's all-encompassing, but there's something for everyone.”

“We're not a medicinal company [but] we do have an advisory committee that oversees everything that we do,” Teefey continues. “We're technically not doctors, but we are for everyone when it comes to feelings. Everybody has feelings and they can go to our content hub and just kind of explore that for a while.”

Admittedly, that exploration bit is pretty fun. The articles are inspiring, and the worksheets (which are each created by an expert) are incredibly helpful. Seeing every program, article, and podcast episode feels like an opportunity to start fresh, but once you have all the ideas in front of you, what do you actually do? Teefey recommends journaling, even if it’s just a sentence every day. (She also loves watching journaling videos from Planning Annie: “Anytime I'm feeling sad or like a little unmotivated, I put her on.”)

Journaling every day, even if your entries are short, allows you to track your mood over an extended period of time. If you notice a consistent sadness, for example, it could be a sign it’s time to check in with your doctor. Plus, journaling can help prepare you for the conversations mental health appointments bring up.

“Sometimes if you go into a therapy session and you're not really settled or concrete in who you are and what may be going on, you might go through what I went through, which is being misdiagnosed,” Teefey says. “It's more important for you to know who you are and what you need prior to going in. So you can give that to them instead of them guessing and working around that process with you.”

Establishing a consistent routine can help decrease your stress, whether you’re eating the same breakfast every day, or you stick to a tried and true skincare regimen like Sydney Sweeney’s Cassie does on Euphoria. I immediately thought of this teen drama when Mandy Teefey mentioned how important her 4 a.m. routine is. But while Cassie spends time doing her skincare and makeup, Teefey spends time nurturing her soul.

“If I don't have [that routine], I'm usually really off kilter,” she says. “So I get up at 4 when everyone's still asleep, and I found that time could be about me, and I'm not taking it away from anybody. And so that's really what helped me be more grounded throughout the day.”

I can attest that my own quiet time in the morning is vital for a successful day — as is knowing what my boundaries need to be. Because honestly, boundaries can change daily! Teefey and I both acknowledge we have to stay away from sad music to protect our mental health, and she also recommends staying off social media when you feel your mental health struggling.

“I can go three days without looking at social media and then when I go on there, I start having anxiety because I'm like, ‘Oh my gosh, I haven't liked this person. I haven't even liked our own pictures [for] Wondermind.’ And then I start feeling guilty,” she says. “There's just some kind of [expectation] to do social media and you really don't. Not everybody needs to know everything, you know? There's beauty in privacy.”

Even Selena Gomez admitted at the 2024 Time100 Summit that taking time off Instagram "was the most rewarding gift I gave myself."

The idea of staying off social media is way easier said than done (speaking from first hand experience here). If you feel like you’re drowning in engagement announcements, anxiety-inducing news, and FOMO, Teefey recommends keeping tabs on your reactions to gauge when it’s time to take a serious break.

“If it invokes any emotion that is a negative emotion, I [know] it's not worth being angry about, it's not worth losing sleep about,” she says. “It just feels like there's an unintentional taunting on social media and, ‘Wait a minute, is that about me?’ You don't know this person and then you start running with all this stuff in your mind.”

Like every area of life, social media is all about balance, and if you’re looking to unplug while still staying informed, Mandy Teefey recommends bringing a journal with you when doing your morning news scroll — that way, you can process emotions while keeping tabs on what’s happening. “If anything evokes emotion, I'm meditating during the quiet time,” she says.

Studies have found journaling can help decrease your anxiety, and that it can help you break obsessive thought cycles. And while you’re the only one who can process your thoughts and emotions, it’s important not to isolate yourself from your community — especially when you’re struggling. “You gotta build trust and you gotta build the boundary of who you volunteer [your] help to,” she says.

When it comes to her own daughters, Mandy Teefey knows it’s a process. “You have to work with them and meet them where they're at, and then see the help they need and don't assume [they’re going through] what you went through,” she says. “You've got to really understand them to be able to give that advice.”

In her own life, Mandy Teefey got to experience building that trust first-hand with Selena Gomez! “One time it was very, very cold in California and me and Selena were on the opposite sides of the pool,” she says. “We were in sweats and she says, ‘Do you trust me?’ And I went, ‘Yeah.’ And she goes ‘Okay, if you trust me, on three, we're gonna jump in this ice cold pool.’”

While Teefey wasn’t convinced, she trusted Gomez, and they both ended up in the freezing cold water! Which is both a funny story and a fond memory: “We couldn't get out of the pool because [our clothes were] so heavy. It was madness!”

“There's a lot of things I know my daughters don't tell me and that's their right,” she continues. “It's so sensitive between teenagers — especially teenagers — and their parents. They're going through that phase and they don't want to be around them and they don't wanna tell them things. It's definitely not easy but maybe put some feelers out there and just make sure that they know you're there and make it okay to have these conversations.”

Thanks to all this actionable advice, we know that Mental Health Awareness month isn’t limited to TikTok videos or Instagram posts we can reshare. There are real tips we can use to take care of ourselves — and a place to go when we need a boost.

Watch Our Full Interview With Mandy Teefey Here!

What is anxiety?

Dr. Shivanand describesanxiety as "a complex state that can manifest in various forms and intensities, affecting both the mind and the body." He continued, saying, “At its core, anxiety involves feelings of worry, fear, and unease, often accompanied by physical symptoms such as increased heart rate, sweating, trembling, and difficulty concentrating. One way to understand anxiety is to think of it as the mind being overwhelmed by the multitude of thoughts, concerns, and stimuli bombarding it at any given moment. Just like a computer with too many open applications, the mind struggles to process everything efficiently, leading to a sense of being scattered and unable to focus.”

Why do I get anxious when I travel?

When it comes to anxiety specific to travel, the reason for why you may experience these uncomfortable feelings could be due to a multitude of reasons and can vary in intensity from person to person. Dr. Shivanand shared that travel anxiety could be in part due to “fear of the unknown, fear of safety, fear of flying, control issues, and past traumatic experiences,” as well other areas of anxiety including “separation anxiety, social anxiety, and health anxiety.” Dr. Shivanand went on to explain that, although fun, “traveling often involves stepping outside of one's comfort zone and encountering unfamiliar situations, environments, and people. For some individuals, the uncertainty of what to expect can trigger feelings of anxiety.”

No matter why you experience anxiety related to travel, “It's important to recognize that travel anxiety is a common and valid experience, and there are various strategies and coping mechanisms available to help manage it,” offered Dr. Shivanand. “These may include relaxation techniques, cognitive-behavioral strategies, gradual exposure to anxiety-provoking situations, seeking support from mental health professionals, and planning ahead to minimize stressors during travel.”

​How can I control my travel anxiety ahead of my upcoming trip?

• Plan and Prepare in Advance: “Plan your trip ahead of time to reduce uncertainty,” says Dr. Shivanand. “This includes booking accommodations, transportation, and activities in advance, as well as familiarizing yourself with the destination, and local regulations.” Having a loose agenda of things to look forward to when your trip starts is a great way to get excited when thinking about traveling, instead of stressed.
• Practice Relaxation Techniques: “Incorporate relaxation techniques such as deep breathing and meditation to calm and center yourself. [Yoga of Immortals] Breathwork and Advance Cognitive sessions can really help,” says Dr. Shivanand. As the founder of the Yoga of Immortals practice, he uses its principles in his everyday life and has seen how it can positively impact the lives of others from a mental health standpoint. However, any type of yoga, meditation, and other similar practices you're familiar with should help.

• Create a Checklist: “Create a checklist of essential items to pack and tasks to complete before your trip to stay organized and minimize last-minute stressors,” shared Dr. Shivanand. “Organizing your belongings and documents can also help you feel more in control during your travels.” The simple task of crossing off packing items from a list can feel cathartic and ensure you don’t forget anything essential during your travels.
  
• Stay Connected: “Maintain communication with friends or family members before, during, and after your trip,” Dr. Shivanand recommends. “Knowing that you have someone to reach out to for support or guidance can provide reassurance and alleviate feelings of isolation.” News flash, the people you care about care about you too! They’ll be happy to hear from you and walk you through any tough feelings, if need be.
  
• Stay Grounded: “Practice mindfulness and grounding techniques to stay present and centered during your travels,” shared Dr. Shivanand. Embrace the ‘pinch me’ moments of your trip as they happen, this is why you’re traveling in the first place after all!

• Seek Professional Support: “If travel-related anxiety significantly impacts your ability to engage in travel experiences, consider seeking support from a mental health professional,” says Dr. Shivanand. Listen; asking for help is okay, and something that you should do if it will have a positive impact on your life.
• Incorporate Meditative & Wellness Daily: In doing so, Dr Shivanand says, "One can effectively manage travel-related anxiety and enjoy your travel experiences with greater ease and confidence.” Dr. Shivanand reiterates that “it's okay to seek support and take proactive steps to prioritize your mental well-being during your travels.”

Meg Ryan

Meg Ryan looked incredible on the Met Gala red carpet in a black sequin gown with a sheer bodice.

Phoebe Dynevor in Custom Victoria Beckham

Bridgerton's OG Diamond of the Season traded jewels for lace and flowers.

Da'Vine Joy Randolph in Custom Gap

Da'Vine Joy Randolph proves that this year's denim and jean trends aren't going anywhere.

Camila Morrone in Chanel

Daisy Jones' Camila Morrone rocks an off-the-shoulder top and feathered skirt — and it's giving Pirate Queen in all the best ways.

Kendall Jenner in Archival Givenchy

Kendall Jenner's Met Gala red carpet look checks all her boxes: minimalist yet detailed, classy yet sexy.

Lana Del Rey in Alexander McQueen

If anyone were going to show up to the 2024 Met Gala dressed as a literal tree, of course it would be Lana Del Rey!

Eiza González

I didn't know I could love a Met Gala look this much. The petals, the snake necklace, the color palette. I can't get enough.

Karol G

Karol G in Lord of the Rings, when? I can't get enough of this Met Gala red carpet look.

Nicole Kidman in Balenciaga

Big Little Lies star Nicole Kidman stunned in a black and white dress that is totally giving old Hollywood glamour.

Naomi Campbell

Aqua was a huge part of the 2024 Met Gala and Naomi Campbell gave the trend some 1920s fun with a flapper-esque dress!

Rachel Zegler in Dior

Before taking her turn as Snow White, Rachel Zegler showed up to the Met Gala red carpet channeling Y2K Cinderella.

Kim Kardashian in Maison Margiela

Kim Kardashian knocked it out of the park with this natural meets material ensemble covered in silver flowers.

Venus Williams

Venus Williams' Met Gala red carpet look proves she knows how to score off the tennis court!

Sabrina Carpenter in Oscar de la Renta

Sabrina Carpenter's orchid-inspired gown is going to live in all our dreams tonight.

Sydney Sweeney in Miu Miu

Sydney Sweeneywas almost unrecognizable on the Met Gala red carpet in a blue and black ensemble that made her new jet black bob pop!

Amanda Gorman

Amanda Gorman was the belle of the ball in a gilded light blue dress and headband. It's giving both Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty!

Nicki Minaj in Marni

Nicki Minaj's interpretation of "The Garden of Time" was bold and vibrant — just like her.

Quannah Chasinghorse in Custom H&M

Quannah Chasinghorse's periwinkle is my favorite color of the night — and the shade is the color of Alaska's forget-me-nots. I'm obsessed.

Gabrielle Union in Michael Kors

This Gabrielle Union look confirms Mermaidcore is coming back this summer ;).

Barry Keoghan in Burberry

The first thing I thought of when I saw Barry Keoghan's Met Gala red carpet look was Mr. Darcy from Pride & Prejudice. And I love that for him.

Gigi Hadid in Thom Browne

Gigi Hadid's approach to this year's Met Gala theme is classy, timeless, and summery. I love how the contrast between the fitted bodice and the voluminous train is emphasized by the skirt's overlay. Give me more!

Keke Palmer

Keke Palmer took the Met Gala red carpet to a whole new level thanks to this metallic dress. The form fitted nature perfectly stands out against the strappy detail — and her hair jewels!

Cynthia Erivo in Thom Browne and Ariana Grande 

Wicked's leading ladies brought movie magic to the Met Gala red carpet — Ariana Grande's dress is bright and creamy with subtle rainbow detail, while Cynthia Erivo's pink flowers stand out against the dark fabric.

Brie Larson in Prada

Brie Larson's 2024 Met Gala dress might be in my top 3 looks of the night! The orange bodice and lavender overlay contrast each other in color, but the opaque vs. transparent fabrics are also contrasting — but thanks to experts at Prada, they're working together, not fighting.

Tyla in Balmain

Grammy winner Tyla took an unconventional approach to the Met Gala red carpet — instead of gardens, she went with Sands of Time. Genius! The sand beauty detail on her shoulder might just be my favorite.

Taylor Russell in Loewe

Taylor Russell's beautiful ensemble is giving tree nymph and Grecian goddess at the same time.

Jessica Biel

Jessica Biel has set the tone for the summer — literally — in a feathered, bright pink gown and beachy waves.

Riley Keough in Chanel

Riley Keough is giving the garden a Gothic edge with black mesh and an eye-catching cut out. But the bright blue and pink flowers keep this Met Gala red carpet look from seeming too dark.

Elle Fanning in Balmain

We know from Disney's Sleeping Beauty that Elle Fanning is basically a princess, and this airy, shimmery dress is just further proof.

Zendaya in Maison Margiela

I KNEW Zendaya wouldn't disappoint after giving us slay after slay every year. This moody look is simultaneously giving Mrs. Peacock from Clue and Clara Bow from The Tortured Poets Department in the very best way. Could this look singlehandedly launch us back into a 1930s beauty phase for the fall?

Zendaya (again) in Archival John Galliano for Givenchy

Zendaya shocked us all by stepping out in a second look for the Met Gala red carpet. This one is just as moody as the first and features a colorful floral headpiece.

Josh O'Connor in Loewe

What Josh O'Connor's Met Gala red carpet look lacks in color, it more than makes up for in detail. The coattails! The shoes! I'm obsessed.

Mike Faist in Loewe

Mike Faist kept it simple and classy at the 2024 Met Gala, and decided to accessorize with a sparkly turnip.

Gwendoline Christie In Custom Maison Margiela

After her run in Game of Thrones, it's no surprise Gwendoline Christie can balance reality and fantasy with ease. I love the Queen of Hearts vibes she's got going on.

Emma Chamberlain in custom Jean Paul Gaultier

Emma Chamberlain is one of our reigning Met Gala queens and her moody look on the 2024 Met Gala red carpet is simultaneously giving Chamberlain Coffee, "Espresso" by Sabrina Carpenter, and a mythical storybook witch.

Ayo Edebiri

The Bear star Ayo Edebiri's garden gown and bright blush are the exact inspo I need for 2024.

Lea Michele in Rodarte

Lea Michele (and her baby bump!) made waves at the 2024 Met Gala — and not just because the Gleestar looks like a nymph! I love the cool effect of the blue satin, especially paired with colorful flowers.

Rebecca Ferguson in Thom Browne

I knew we'd be getting fairytales, but leave it to Dune 2's Rebecca Ferguson to take the Grimm’s approach — dark fabric, shimmery details, and ominous birds. Revered Mother is mothering!

Jennifer Lopez In Custom Schiaparelli

Jennifer Lopez' crystal dress absolutely reminds me of the grace of Swan Lake with some extra strength and edge to boot.

Sienna Miller, Chemena Kamali, Greta Gerwig, Emma Mackey and Zoe Saldana

The Barbie director went totally Oppenheimer on the Met Gala red carpet — and stepping out with Emma, Zoe, Sienna, and Chemena has me wondering if there's a new movie in the works?

Madelyn Cline in Tommy Hilfiger

Outer Banks star Madelyn Cline's Met Gala look is a beautiful, creamy take on modern fairytales, and I'm going to need her airy beauty look STAT.

Sarah Jessica Parker

And Just Like That...SJP has arrived! I love the boots, I love the lace embroidery detail, and I love the hat.