There are plenty of reasons to love being single, from #bosslady boldness to health benefits. And while some of us embrace our singlehood and others see it as a temp sitch until we find our soul mate, science says there may be a key reason some of us are single: We have too much self-esteem. In other words, we’ve put so much emphasis on self-love, that we lack the skills needed to truly love others. Say wha?!

confident woman

According to Jean Twenge’s book, Generation Me: Why Today’s Young Americans Are More Confident, Assertive, Entitled — and More Miserable Than Ever Before (if that title doesn’t make you cringe, you’re stronger than us), millennials have grown up during a “self-esteem movement.” What sounds like a good thing is turned around by Twenge and made out to be a bad thing — a very bad thing.

By learning to appreciate ourselves and have confidence in our own abilities, we’ve supposedly each made ourselves into an “army of one.” Knowing how to function successfully as an individual, according to Twenge, makes it harder (or impossible?) for us to embrace another and show them the love they need.

confident woman

Psychology Today makes a similar argument, with Caitlin Cantor claiming that the fact that we’re “skilled at being alone” translates into trouble finding (or staying with) someone else.

Though it could also be argued that being confident and self-reliant means you can function as a healthy partner in a relationship and not a dependent, needy S.O. and loving yourself can show you how to love another fully, perhaps that wouldn’t make an intriguing book title.

Do you think having good self-esteem helps or hinders your relationships? Tweet us @BritandCo!

(h/t Elite Daily; photos via Sam Edwards, Tang Ming Tung/Getty)