The 2000s were all about the “Man Cave” — the place of amped-up testosterone where women fear to tread that invaded thousands of homes across America. The idea was that it was the place for men to go to “be men” and to “get away from it all” for a while. It was immortalized on television shows and in movies.
For a couple of years, the Man Cave’s female equivalent, the She Shed, has been making waves. While images of She Sheds on Pinterest show an almost dizzying array of options, the basic description is a room where women can be alone or pursue their hobbies and interests. A literal “Room of One’s Own,” like that of the 88-year-old Virginia Woolf novel.
She Sheds (like the one above, from Wayfair) have appeared in major magazines and even on The Today Show as beautiful spaces for women, but they may have an added side benefit — being able to help improve your relationship by allowing you time off from your spouse, and the space to pursue your own interests free of judgement or a need to accommodate your partner.
It seems to follow the wisdom of “absence makes the heart grow fonder.” When asked what kept her marriage alive for 50 years, Dolly Parton explained, “47 years of that I was gone.”
Dolly was also “gone” doing things that made her happy, and doing things that make you happy make you a better partner and more likely to engage with more aspects of your life in a positive way.
Could a She Shed be the secret to a happier relationship or marriage? Some psychologists think so. Rob Pascale and Lou Primavera, PhD, co-authors of Making Marriage Work: Avoiding the Pitfalls and Achieving Success, advocate strongly for partners agreeing on a certain amount of time apart.
“Personal time allows us to maintain our individual identities, provides opportunities to do things we like to do, and lets us feel like we have some control over our lives,” they told Psychology Today. “Alone time can actually help to keep a relationship fresh and less stressful.”
A She Shed could be a solution to recharging your relationship batteries and being more present for your partner when you are together. Spending time concentrating on things your partner might find silly, or that just bring you comfort and joy, could potentially help you feel more in touch with yourself and not feel resentful of your significant other. Keeping in touch with the person you were before you and your boo got together, and having a special place for her, is an important part of self-care.
Would you consider getting a She Shed? Do you have one already? Tell us about it @BritandCo!
(Featured photo via Wayfair)