Melissa Bernstein Teaches Brit How To Find Joy

How prevalent is the loneliness epidemic actually?

I've joked with my sister that there seems to be a change in the way people interact with each other since the pandemic, but there's some truth to it. Reed says, "Since the pandemic began, I've observed a marked increase in feelings of loneliness across various age groups. What’s particularly interesting is the depth of loneliness people have expressed, even after moving back into engaging in normal activities."

Think about the last time you went to the grocery store — did it seem like some people exist in their own worlds without apparent regard for others? It could very well be a symptom of this very epidemic. "Many of my clients have reported feeling disconnected not just from others, but also from parts of themselves. The pandemic disrupted our regular social habits and created a void that many are still learning how to fill," explains Reed.

Does social media play a role in the way we perceive introversion and loneliness?

I can't completely shun social media because it's introduced me to different brands, people, and even my career as a journalist. However, I've also wondered if social media has a major influence on the way we think and interact with the world around us — especially in regards to introversion and loneliness. Reed believes there's more to it than that.

"Our lifestyles and societal values greatly influence how we view introversion and loneliness. For instance, highly individualistic cultures, like in the U.S., often celebrate extroversion," she says before adding, "This celebration can make quieter, introverted ways of engaging with the world seem less valuable."

This may pose an issue for those who are always busy and aren't actively interacting with others beyond a surface level. Reed says, "Additionally, our busy modern lifestyles are filled with long work hours and personal commitments. This can leave little room for deep, sustained social interactions. As a result, those who may not reach out actively can feel further isolated."

What are some signs that someone is experiencing loneliness?

Dr. Murthy also told NPR, “Some people react to loneliness by withdrawing and getting quiet. Others react to loneliness by becoming irritable and angry, and they may lash out more” before adding “...sometimes we need somebody else to tell us, ‘Hey, you’ve been withdrawing more’ to help us understand we might actually be dealing with loneliness.”

This is something that Reed also reiterated. She says, "Signs of loneliness frequently include significant changes in mood and behavior. This might look like increased irritability, persistent sadness, or withdrawal from usual activities" while "Physically, loneliness might manifest through disrupted sleep patterns or a change in appetite."

From personal experience, I've been known to dissociate if I'm feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or upset so I'm very familiar with exacerbating any loneliness I've felt by withdrawing. This also resulted in spending a lot of days in my early 20s sleeping when I wasn't working or remaining in my room with the door locked.

"If you notice a loved one seeming unusually quiet, canceling plans more frequently, or expressing feelings of emptiness, they might be experiencing loneliness," warns Reed.

How can we combat the loneliness epidemic in our daily interactions?

If you've noticed that you're being affected by the loneliness epidemic, there are different ways to combat it. Reed says, "Small daily interactions can be very impactful to combating loneliness. Simply making eye contact, sharing a smile with a stranger, or having a quick chat with a neighbor can foster a sense of connection." This sounds so Starbucks and Bookstore-coded for those of us who don't want to feel overwhelmed by anything grand.

At the same time, Reed says there are things we can do in our personal relationships to help us start feeling a sense of community again. "Reaching out regularly to friends and family through calls, messages, and face-to-face interactions is essential. Building a community around shared interests, can also help bridge the isolation gap," she shares.

Is the loneliness epidemic going to be a prolonged problem, or is it possible to turn around?

Like other things, it can seem like the loneliness epidemic won't get any better. But, Reed wants you to have hope. "While it's possible the impact of the pandemic on social interactions could be a prolonged issue, humans are inherently driven to connect." Though she says, "The pandemic has intensified social anxieties and shifted communication habits."

This can look like people finding it difficult to interact with others the way they used to (hi social anxiety). Still, that doesn't mean we have to approach things as if there's nothing to look forward to in terms of interacting with others. Reed says, "People are finding new ways to engage with each other as we be come more aware of the impacts of loneliness and actively work towards building stronger, more resilient community networks. This adaptability is a positive sign that we're moving towards more interaction again, despite the challenges."

All we can do is turn lemons into lemonade as we continue to find new normals that support our lifestyles, communication, and connection needs.

What are common misconceptions about neurodivergence in relationships?

It seems like as soon as people find out two people are dating, their relationship becomes THE topic of conversation among their peers and otherwise. I know because I'm guilty of letting my curiosity get the best of me, but I try not to make assumptions about what goes on BTS. Knowing this, I can only imagine some of the things that people say about couples where one partner has a diagnosed mental illness or is neurodivergent.

Natalie says the common myths and stigmas associated with these types of relationships are:

• Relationships with people who have mental health issues are doomed to fail.
• People with mental health issues are violent and dangerous.
• Mental health problems are a sign of weakness, and you can 'fix' your partner.
• You should only consider someone as a romantic partner if they are 'cured' of their mental illness

How can someone effectively communicate with their partner if they ADHD?

Someone who has ADHD may process things a little differently than another person, which doesn't have to be a terrible thing. To be more specific, Natalie breaks down how someone can have conversations with a partner who has ADHD. "Effective communication with a partner who has ADHD requires specific strategies because ADHD can affect a person's ability to focus, organize thoughts, listen actively, and manage impulses, which can sometimes make interactions and day-to-day living difficult," she says.

A few ways to navigate this is by doing the following:

• Seek Understanding of ADHD: Understanding how ADHD can affect communication and behavior can help you develop empathy and more effective strategies tailored to your relationship.
• Establish Eye Contact: Making eye contact can help them focus and signal that the conversation is important.
• Check for Understanding: After you’ve communicated something important, ask your partner to repeat back what they've understood. This can ensure that your message has been understood correctly.
• Use "I" Statements: This can prevent your partner from feeling defensive and keeps the conversation more constructive.

How can you recognize signs that something is triggering your partner?

This is such an important question because sometimes we're not aware that something we're doing or saying is triggering our partners whether they have ADHD or not. Natalie says, "A clear sign that something may be triggering your partner is a noticeable and abrupt change in their mood or behavior," and "Triggers can also provoke physical responses."

Based on her experience, these physical responses can include shaking, trembling, a sudden inability to speak, crying, rapid breathing, or even a panic attack. "Observing these changes can indicate that your partner is experiencing something deeply distressing. If your partner suddenly withdraws from a conversation, shuts down emotionally, or tries to leave the situation entirely, it might indicate that they are feeling overwhelmed or triggered, as well. Or a sudden silence or unusually passive communication can be a sign your partner is triggered," Natalie says.

As someone who's known for finding a way to exit a conversation if I start feeling overwhelmed, I can say that this sounds all too familiar.

What makes having a partner with ADHD difficult? Should that be a dealbreaker?

Deal breakers are subjective, so no one can firmly tell you what you should or shouldn't deal with. At the same time, Natalie wants you to consider some things. "Dating someone with ADHD does have it's unique challenges, but understanding these challenges can help determine whether they might be considered deal-breakers, depending on one's personal limits, the dynamics of the relationship, and the willingness of both partners to work through these concerns."

She makes it clear that some things that may affect your relationship with your partner are their tendency to be inconsistent, distracted, forgetful, and disorganized. If you're finding that it's hard for you to find peace at home or in your relationship, it may be best for you to amicably part ways with your partner.

How can you support a partner with ADHD?

We're fortunate that we live in a time where talking about mental illness and neurodivergence is more widely embraced, but that doesn't mean everyone is comfortable with the conversation. Natalie says, "As a clinical provider, I have been able to witness first hand the ways that a partner's support can really assist someone with an ADHD diagnosis. First, understanding the symptoms, challenges, and behaviors associated with ADHD can help you empathize with what your loved one is experiencing."

A few of the ways you can help your partner is by listening without judgment or interruption, and acknowledging their struggles, validating their feelings, and reassuring them that it’s okay to feel overwhelmed. Natalie says this "...can help provide a feeling of safety" while "Offering to help organize their environment, set up reminders, or plan daily schedules can help reduce stress and make daily tasks more manageable."

To go the extra mile, Natalie suggests celebrating small milestones and successes to boost their self-esteem and motivation since these two things can also be affected by ADHD.

What causes weak fingernails?

But first, what causes unhealthy, brittle, breakable nails? A lot of factors that may not instantly come to mind. According to WebMD, these factors can contribute to weak nails:

• Aging: As we get older, our nails get thinner and can crack or peel.
• Harsh nail products: Both nail polish and nail polish remover can have strong chemicals that can damage and dry out your nails, leading them to break.
• Wet nails: Consistently have your hands in water, maybe doing the dishes or bathtime for the kids? This could be drying out your nails.
• Underlying health issues: Vitamin deficiencies, autoimmune diseases, and many other health issues could be the cause of nails breaking.

How can I strengthen my nails?

Dealing with some of these factors? While we can’t help you with the underlying health issues (please see a doctor if you think you may be dealing with something!), there are many easy things you can do to improve your nails and encourage growth.

• Cuticle oil
• Biotin
• Diet
• Nail protection
• Avoid picking and peeling

Find a Cuticle Oil

You may only use cuticle oil when your manicurist applies it, but that doesn't have to be the case. Cuticle oils are an inexpensive and easy way to promote nail health and growth by keeping your nails hydrated. Cosmetically, cuticle oils encourage longer-lasting manis and leave your nails looking shiny and polished. But they do much more below the surface: cuticle oils create a healthier environment that allows strong growth for your nails.

Interested in adding cuticle oil to your beauty routine? Check our a few of my faves:

• Cuccio Naturale Revitalizing- Hydrating Oil
• Olive & June Cuticle Serum
• OPI ProSpa Nail and Cuticle Oil

Explore Biotin

Biotin is an important type of B vitamin that helps our bodies turn food into energy. It’s also one of the top recommended supplements for hair and nail growth, and for good reason. Many scientists say a daily biotin supplement can improve nail strength in as little as a few weeks.

“Since it is water soluble, biotin (or vitamin B7) can’t be stored in the body and must be acquired from diet or through supplementation,” shared Rachel Kilroy, Director of Product Innovation at Solaray, the original pioneers in supplement health and wellness. Solaray has developed a new supplement that provides biotin in a unique way.

“Solaray’s Timed Release Biotin strategically supports nail health with a powerful 5,000 mcg of this important nutrient, delivering half of the biotin rapidly and the other half gradually over a period of up to 8 hours for sustained support,” Kilroy continued. “With consistent use, this vegan formula—lab verified for purity and potency—can provide comprehensive support for longer, stronger nails.”

Supplements not your thing? Biotin can be found naturally in many foods, like cooked eggs, whole grains, soy and other beans, nuts and nut butters, salmon, mushrooms, and cauliflower.

Eat A Nail Friendly Diet

Nails require a balanced, healthy diet for proper growth and strength. According to Medical News Today, making small tweaks to your diet can make a big impact on your nails. Adding in nutrients like more iron or calcium in your diet will have your nails growing long and strong.

Dieticians recommend a colorful diet for nail growth consisting of colorful fruits and veggies, nuts, seeds, eggs, lean meat, avocado, sweet potato, and whole grains.

Protect Your Nails While Wet

Constantly doing dishes, managing bath time, gardening, or swimming? The water may be the cause of your breakage.

Your nails are like sponges, constantly expanding and contracting when water goes in or out of the nail cells. This can strain your nails, causing them to weaken, peel, and then break.

When possible, grab a pair of rubber gloves to wear while cleaning to protect your nails from the water and make sure to fully dry your nails after they’re in water. Hand creams are also a win for your nails after water exposure.

Avoid Picking, Peeling or Biting

Bad habits that are addicting. While peeling off your gel manicure can be so satisfying, it’s one of the worst things you can do for your nails. Same with constantly picking or biting your nails. As someone who used to constantly bite her nails down, I can assure you my nails are much healthier and stronger after kicking that habit.

Want to quit that habit? Try a nail bite deterrent, like this one from ella+mia or this one from LONDONTOWN and watch your nails grow before your eyes.