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Kristen Bell Says Dax Shepard Helped Her Overcome Career Insecurity With *This* Advice

Kristen Bell is nothing if not brutally honest: The Frozen star has gotten real about everything from motherhood (“I’m not a good mom; I’m not a bad mom. I’m the mom I am and I try very hard, and when I fail, that’s OK.”) to marriage (“We were fighting about the first year of our relationship, because it’s a power struggle.”). Now, she’s taken her bare truth to Cosmopolitan in a must-read essay in which she outlines how her hubby of four years helped her to overcome any insecurities she had about her career with a little tough love.


In the piece, the 37-year-old discusses how she adopted a “nice” persona from an early age, saying that it gave her a feeling of strength, which as a physically small person, she felt she needed. “I made sure to smile at strangers on the street, I donated time to charitable organizations, and I always did my best to make people feel good,” she says. “I had a real handle on kindness. I knew it inside and out and could generate it like a beast.”

When she met her husband, Dax Shepard, however, he helped her to see that there was also a time to ditch the niceties and be assertive. “I had hit a point in my career where I began comparing myself to other actresses. I’d look around and wonder why I wasn’t considered for X job or Y role when I felt equally qualified and passionate as those around me,” she confesses. “I became increasingly resentful and disappointed when my successes didn’t line up with others’. I had, unknowingly, tied my self-worth to everyone other than myself.”

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Rather than being “nice,” and telling the A Bad Moms Christmas star what she wanted to hear — which was that she was correct to wallow in her self-pity, and the world was unfair — Shepard was direct, offering a solution for his then-girlfriend that she’d never even considered before: Stop lamenting the odds she felt was stacked against her and change her own outlook.

“He looked me square in the eye and said, ‘Are you crazy? This is a self-destructive path. You can only compare your current self to your former self. You’ll get a comparison hangover if you constantly measure your worth against someone else.'”

While Bell admits she was initially angry at his lack of “niceness,” (“I was expecting to hear, ‘No! You’re worth it. You should feel angry,'”) she eventually saw the value in him speaking his truth. “He showed me true kindness by putting himself in an uncomfortable position and telling me what I needed to hear instead of what I wanted to hear.”

While she doesn’t discredit general acts of kindness such as altruism by any means, Bell says she’s now able to speak her truth rather than worry about being polite, whether its in her personal life or throughout her career. “It requires courage and vulnerability to choose to be honest with people when they may not want to hear it… but it’s also worth it.”

Hear, hear!

Have you ever been given a clarifying moment of tough love? Tell us about it @BritandCo!

(h/t Cosmopolitan; photos via Alberto E. Rodriguez + Tommaso Boddi/Getty)

Kat Armstrong
Kat has been a writer, social media maven and mom for longer than she's willing to admit. She's also spent time in front of and behind the camera, interviewing celebs, politicians and acting as a producer for fashion and artistic photography shoots. When she isn't writing for various orgs and publications, she's hanging with her kids, husband and French Bulldog, Peter, in Toronto, Canada.

Alright, folks. We've officially made it to fall. And if you haven't already started switching out your decor (as long as it's ready by Friendsgiving, right?) you still have time to do so. Draw inspiration from this round-up of new home products that includes harvest-inspired candles, cozy linens and textiles, and a v. practical piece of furniture. One scroll through these, and you'll have all the motivation you need to transition the seasons. Scroll on to start shopping.

Prism x LOREM Collection ($96+): Calling all Cali babes. The popular Long Beach boutique, Prism, announced a boho-fabulous collab with home decor line, LOREM, that we can't get enough of. Shop everything from plant hangers (eight options, to be exact) to artwork, all inspired by the very colorful vibes of the brands. If you were looking for a cheery way to tide you through winter, this. is. it!

Floyd Mattress (Price TBD): Fans of the cult-favorite Detroit-based brand will love their latest launch debuting on October 29. The highly-coveted Floyd Mattress will have the same made-to-last design and superior comfort as their other furnishings, tailored perfectly to fit the line's in-demand bed frame. Additional details for the mattress include a breathable foam material, highly-mobile packaging, and a low-profile design to secure your best night's sleep yet. Check back on the last week of the month to get one for yourself.

Dims 'Composed Vanity' ($595): Small space? No problem! Direct-to-consumer brand, Dims, is giving you a quick and stylish solution to your storage needs with their newest item that doubles as both a desk and vanity. The functional piece is made with non-toxic, chemical-free materials and can be assembled in seven minutes or less. Throw in four sleek shades to choose from, and this may just be your best purchase of 2019 yet!

Saatchi Art x The Citizenry Holiday Collection ($225+): Get ready to deck your walls this holiday season. Saatchi Art partnered with The Citizenry in a one-of-a-kind collection that features a curation of art across styles. Explore everything from modern to abstract creations in a selection so stunning, it's bound to spark a conversation at your next gathering.

NEST Spiced Orange & Clove Collection ($16+): If you haven't experienced the addicting aromas of the beloved NEST fragrance brand, this is the perfect time to get on board! The label recently released their latest scent — spiced orange & clove — just in time for all your gatherings. Inhale festive notes of orange pomander, spiced brandy, cinnamon, and gingered honey across their suite of candles and diffusers to bring all the good vibes to your home.

Bloomingdales x RiLEY Home ($19+): RiLEY Home gets millennials. So they teamed up with Bloomingdales to make shopping their selection more attainable than ever. Now, you can get in on long-lasting, luxurious staples like flannel sheets, bedding, printed throws, premium pet beds, and more, by shopping online and in-stores at the department store. (Trust us: These dream goods are ones you're going to be *glad* you stocked-up on.)

Italic Serene Towels ($12+): The luxury brand that prides itself on using the *same* factories namesake brands (like Calvin Klein and Lacoste) use, but without the price tag behind them, brings you a new product for fall. Treat yourself to Italic's ultra-soft towel set spun from fluffy, 100% Australian cotton, in a convenient set of six. Consider it the perfect indulgence after a long soak in the tub on a cozy FNI (Friday night in)!

Hyascent x Neiman Marcus ($169): 'Tis the season for a delightfully scented home. Warm your abode with scents like bourbon joy, cheeky rose and more in a unique diffuser that doubles more as decor than a fragrance-inducer. Fresh off the (online) shelves of Neiman Marcus, explore nine scents that last up to six months in a specialized hourglass holder. (Shhh! Your friends will never know the secret of why your place smells so darn good!)