*Warning: This post contains spoilers, so if you haven鈥檛 seen the most recent episode of The Bachelor, stop reading!*

Another Monday, another excuse to forget our current nightmare, pour a glass of wine and sink into the couch. That鈥檚 right 鈥 I鈥檓 talking about The Bachelor. Let鈥檚 dive right in, because they didn鈥檛 waste any time picking up where they left off last week.

We started episode five off with Taylor and Corinne fighting outside (still under the same blanket somehow), and Corinne used some strange reverse psychology on Taylor 鈥 which is strange, because isn鈥檛 Taylor the mental health counselor? She then told Nick that she didn鈥檛 think Taylor was there for the right reasons before Chris Harrison announced it was time for the rose ceremony.

THE ROSE CEREMONY

Things were tense while Nick handed out the roses, during which Astrid was given screen time. The only time Astrid is ever given screen time is during the rose ceremony, and if not for that, we鈥檇 completely forget about her. Corinne and Taylor both got roses and you could cut the tension in the room with鈥 gardening shears? Because, roses? I don鈥檛 know. Sarah鈥檚 exit was tearful and sad, and I really felt for her. She felt overshadowed by the drama, which is understandable. Then Nick announced to the remaining women that they鈥檇 be traveling to New Orleans, and they all cheered before chugging Champagne.

NEW ORLEANS AND A ONE-ON-ONE DATE

The women romped through the streets of New Orleans and tried on masquerade masks while Raven waxed on about whether anyone would buy a voodoo doll. Jaimi wondered whether she鈥檇 have an advantage because it was her hometown, and the rest of the women jumped on the beds in the penthouse suite like all ~grown women~ do! Then Chris Harrison came in and announced the week鈥檚 dates, which included the dreaded two-on-one date. For the uninitiated, that means one of the women on the date will be going home. The women didn鈥檛 want to look at the card when it arrived, but Raven stepped up and grabbed it 鈥 fortunately, it was just a one-on-one for Rachel!

NICK VIALL, RACHEL

Rachel and Nick walked around an open-air market, trying on masks and feeding each other. They then went and ate beignets, and we saw firsthand why Bachelor contestants never eat on TV 鈥 it was incredibly messy. After dancing in the street together, it was super clear the two had chemistry鈥 especially to the women watching from the hotel suite upstairs. AWKWARD! It鈥檚 getting to the point in the season where many of them are calling him their 鈥渂oyfriend鈥 and saying things like 鈥渋t鈥檚 so hard to watch your boyfriend be with someone else,鈥 which is fair I guess, but it鈥檚 also kinda the whole experience they signed up for.

At dinner, Nick said that Rachel surpassed his expectations before she opened up about some Real, Deep stuff. She talked about the last time she was in New Orleans; it was for a funeral, and it was a huge departure from the joyousness of this time. They then talked about family and Nick asked what he should call her father 鈥 it did not sound hypothetical at all. He told her he was 鈥渂reaking rules鈥 by telling her he was super into her before giving her a rose.

GROUP DATE

Back at the hotel the women continued to debate who would be on the two-on-one date, though it should鈥檝e been obvious 鈥 it鈥檚 ALWAYS the two who鈥檙e feuding, AKA Taylor and Corinne! The group date card came and confirmed it by elimination, and the women on the group date met Nick at 鈥渢he most haunted house in Louisiana.鈥

As per usual, they grabbed a drink before exploring, and Nick predicted there鈥檇 be a 鈥渨eird energy鈥 to the date. Not a bad prediction, Nick! The caretaker of the haunted house was named Boo (of course he was!), and he told them all about the spirits of the house before giving them a, well, spirited tour. As the night got darker, so did the mood, and Jaimi suggested they try to meet 鈥淢ae,鈥 the main ghost of the house. They then asked a Ouija board who would get the group date rose and also whether Nick would get engaged, which was pretty hilarious.

TBH, the stuff in the haunted house was all so staged and annoying that I won鈥檛 even entertain it by writing much about it 鈥 let鈥檚 just say there were flickering lights and a falling chandelier, and it was implied over and over that a spirit was pranking the bachelorettes. Moving on!

As far as the alone time with Nick goes, Raven and Nick had some pretty cute moments together. She actually told him him she was in love with him accidentally, and even though it鈥檚 way too soon for that, whatever 鈥 that鈥檚 SO Raven. He ended up giving the rose to Danielle M., and Raven looked thoroughly disappointed.

TWO-ON-ONE DATE

Corinne and Taylor packed up their bags and headed off to the bayou for their two-on-one date. Neither of them was happy about it, and they both provided wonderfully shady commentary in their side interviews. The one thing they could agree on was that they weren鈥檛 thrilled about the bugs, though.

They walked further 鈥渋nto the bayou鈥 and met a woman who told them they鈥檇 be receiving a tarot reading. The tarot reader pulled some cards and then said there was tension, which was true, but c鈥檓on 鈥 it didn鈥檛 take a card pull to sense that! Nick and Corinne decided to step away and talk so that Taylor could get her own reading, during which she learned that she was emotive, was moving on from an emotional situation, was around someone nasty and cutting, and that she shouldn鈥檛 get caught up in it. This reader sure knew her stuff!

In the meantime, Corinne was filling Nick in on the sitch with Taylor, including that Taylor had called her stupid and 鈥渂ullied鈥 her. The tarot reading for Corinne revealed that she was succinct and cutting, after which she asked how to make a voodoo doll (!!!) specific to a person (!!!), and the reader handed her one (!!!).

Now I鈥檓 gonna be *that* girl here and say I think the way they鈥檙e portraying New Orleans kinda sucks? They鈥檙e exploiting a lot of the stuff that gets made into a caricature rather than visiting the city and enjoying its rich history. Aaaanyway, what do we expect from The Bachelor. Back to the show鈥

The women finally reconvened and sniped at each other for a few more minutes, basically doing a post-mortem on what had gone wrong in their 鈥渇riendship鈥 on the show before Nick sat with them. He picked up the rose and gave it to鈥 drumroll please鈥 Corinne! Nick and Corinne rode off together into the sunset on a fan boat. Taylor walked in the opposite direction and experienced some sort of鈥 cleansing ceremony? it鈥檚 unclear鈥 while saying that Nick had made a huge mistake.

As Nick and Corinne went on with their night, we saw ominous shots of Taylor in a car, and it was clear that it wasn鈥檛 the last we鈥檇 see of her. Nick and Corinne sat down to dinner and began to chat (and kiss!), and then Taylor walked in before the black screen and the 鈥淭o be continued鈥︹ text we鈥檝e gotten so used to this season. We鈥檒l just have to see how it plays out next week.

Do you think Nick made a mistake? Let us know @BritandCo.

(Photo via Mark Coffey/Getty)