*Warning! This post contains serious spoilers, so if you haven’t watched this week’s episode of The Bachelor, STOP READING NOW.*
Nick sure is shaking things up this season, isn’t he? He’s sending women home at a moment’s notice (bye, Dominique!), skipping rose ceremonies in favor of pool parties and wearing maroon leather jackets instead of the usual black. While only time will tell if his unconventional ways are working, the last episode ended with “the worst pool party, ever” (according to Alexis), and everybody feeling mad at — guess who? — Corinne (who may or may not be engaged)! We last saw her straddling Nick in a bouncy house, so let’s talk about where she (and everyone else) stand after the latest episode of our fave alternative facts version of a romance show.
THE POOL PARTY AND ROSE CEREMONY
Last night’s episode picked up where we left off, with Vanessa telling Nick that she wasn’t stoked about him making out with Corinne during the pool party. Then, some of the other girls confronted Corinne about her bouncy house activities (while she was — what else!? — taking a nap), which somehow led to her denying that she had any privilege (GIRL). TBH, we’re a little worried about how many naps she needs to take, as well as how much focus is on her.
The ladies then quickly transitioned from swimwear to nightwear, and the rose ceremony commenced. Half of the women cried about not having gotten enough time with Nick thus far (valid), while the other half spent their time talking about how they *really* didn’t want Corinne to get a rose. It happens every season — one woman gets so much time that the women with less traditionally “big” personalities get left behind. Poor introverts, we just aren’t made for reality TV!
TRAVELING AND A ONE-ON-ONE
Once again proving that Nick is #NotAllBachelors, he decided to take the women back to his home base super early on in the season, an event usually reserved for the final two or three… not the final, er, 15. Chris Harrison told the women to pack their things for international travel before announcing that they’d be flying to Nick’s hometown of Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Nick met up with his (understandably worried) parents, who just want him to find someone, or, at the very least, stop trying to do it on reality TV. He then met back up with the group before taking Danielle L. on a one-on-one date. She seemed pretty nervous, which was understandable, because as she explained, “There’s a rose on the line, and if I don’t get it, I’m going home.”
They made out in a bakery before running into Nick’s ex at a deli. FUN! The ex, heretofore referred to as Amber, JOINED THE DATE, which visibly threw Danielle. Amber then coined the term “heartdriven,” which I will now be using in all of my recaps. (Thanks, Amber!)
Danielle opened up about how her parents’ divorce affected her, saying that consequently, she wanted to take things slow and be really sure before marrying (which kinddddd of makes her an odd candidate for The Bachelor, no?), and Nick ended up giving her the rose, followed by a slow dance at a concert from a singer/band I’m too lazy to look up. *Shrugs* Meanwhile, the other women got a card for a group date.
THE GROUP DATE
The girls showed up to a beautiful farm where Nick told them with a twinkle in his eye that he wanted to “see the women do dirtier things,” (ugh!) sooooo this should be fun. They milked cows, shoveled poop (ew). Of course, Corinne got a ton more screen time, complaining about the “farm chores” and asking for sushi, leading the other women to spend their interviews talking about her.
For the nighttime part of the date, they sat in one of the nondescript cocktail rooms with couches, trunks-as-coffee tables and multitudes of throw pillows while Nick ventured into some side rooms to talk to the women one on one. Unfortunately, Corinne was in one of the side rooms and overheard the women talking about her, after which she decided to compare herself to corn (don’t ask). Meanwhile, Vanessa continued to distinguish herself as a frontrunner by gifting Nick with a scrapbook from her students (and an adorable snort laugh).
Corinne eventually decided to confront the women, who told her they took issue with her age and her napping through the rose ceremony, rather than the plethora of OTHER issues they could’ve brought up — whatever, ladies! Rachel and Nick then got some alone time. (Full disclosure: She’s still my absolute favorite, which means I’m still standing by my initial desire for her to *almost* win — I want her to make it almost to the end, and then become the next Bachelorette). When Nick and Corinne finally had their turn to chat, she told him the “alternative facts” version of the night’s events. Then, the prickly situation of the rose came, and Nick gave it to Kristina.
THE SECOND ONE-ON-ONE
Raven nabbed the second one-on-one date and got to explore Nick’s hometown with him. These “realistic day” dates are always less exciting in the typical reality TV way, but they’re honestly the best to watch — they give more of a real sense of what the contestants (that’s what they are, let’s be honest) are actually like IRL, and what their relationship would actually be like if they were to, ya know, date. They met Nick’s little sister for soccer practice, which is probably the earliest a contestant has ever met a family member. After kicking the ball around a bit, they met his PARENTS and my jaw literally dropped — is this a sign Nick is considering Raven more seriously than the other women, or is he just doing things really differently?
After the game they took Nick’s sister (Bella) to a skating rink, and Raven was awesome with her. It was honestly a really cute date! Plus, they skated to Sixpence None the Richer’s “Kiss Me,” which is a classic skating song. At dinner (during which they don’t eat), Raven revealed that she’d been cheated on before and gave all the gruesome deets of the sitch (some of which were pretty… intense). Nick has been cheated on too, and they connected on rebuilding after feeling ashamed and undervalued. She inevitably got the rose, and Nick seems to be really into her.
THE ROSE CEREMONY… KIND OF
Danielle L. “stole” Nick immediately at the beginning of the rose ceremony, which set things off on a bad note, considering that she already HAD a rose and is guaranteed a spot for the next week. (That’s a huge Bachelor faux pas, for those not in the know.) Taylor followed quickly to interrupt, during which Josephine and Corinne enjoyed the hors d’oeuvres until Corinne grew tired of waiting, saying she was going to go “rip Taylor a new one.”
The two went around in circles, insulting each other’s intelligence on multiple levels (and after multiple glasses of wine, likely), before Corinne said that she “owns a multi-million dollar company” and Taylor said that Corinne “isn’t emotionally intelligent.” Then, we were given the black “TO BE CONTINUED…” screen again, because apparently we can’t get one normal week with dates and a rose ceremony at the end.
And that’s about it! Next week, we’ll apparently see the end of either Taylor or Corinne’s “journey” with Nick — personally, I’m betting Taylor will go, both because Corinne makes for better TV and also because Taylor and Nick just haven’t had as much time together yet. We’ll see… keep watching and reading to see where this group will end up!
What did you think of this week’s episode? Tweet us @BritandCo!
(Gifs via GIPHY, photo via Craig Sjodin/Getty)