It’s the most wonderful time of year, y’all — Trader Joe’s holiday snack time! Sure, we’re excited to spend the holidays with our nearest and dearest, donning dazzling high heels and drinking festive cocktails until January 1, but it’s these extra-special TJ’s treats that really get our mistletoe in a bunch. There’s still plenty of time to pick up your stand-by at your nearest store — or you can try something new, maybe with your horoscope in mind?
ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 19)
Extraordinary Bark: Who, you, extraordinary, Aries? We know, what a stretch! Trader Joe’s Extraordinary Bark is a “dark chocolate bark topped with layers of mini milk chocolate peanut butter cups, pretzels, caramel popcorn, and crushed almonds” — it’s a bold, textural holiday treat that speaks to your own trademark confident enthusiasm.
TAURUS (APRIL 20-MAY 20)
Dark Chocolate Minty Mallows: Smooth, rich, and way more luxe than what their $3 price tag suggests, these Dark Chocolate Minty Mallows have it all. You’re into them already, aren’t you, Taurus? We figured you’d be down with their decadent vibe and can totally see you melting a couple into your cup of hot cocoa during one of your signature holiday movie marathons.
GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 20)
Salty Honey Toffee Milk Chocolate Covered Crackers: Indecisive just might be your middle name, Gemini, since you’re forever worried you’ll miss out on something awesome once you make a choice. Thankfully, with TJ’s Salty Honey Toffee Milky Chocolate Covered Crackers, you’re indulging in a little bit of everything — sweet, salty, savory, crunchy, and creamy all in one.
CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 22)
Hot Cocoa O’s: The holiday season is one of your favorite times of year, Cancer, because it means getting cozy and spending quality time with your loved ones. Of course, mulled wine, eggnog, and hot cocoa play a huge part in that hygge life — so we’re suggesting you grab a box of Hot Cocoa O’s to take it a step further. They’re just chocolatey enough and have those freeze-dried astronaut marshmallows that remind us of Saturday morning sleepovers as kids.
LEO (JULY 23-AUGUST 22)
Jingle Jangle: Coming to you in a festive tin, this assortment of chocolate-covered pretzels, peanut butter cups, candy-coated chocolates, caramel popcorn and chocolate-covered Joe Joe’s pieces is a crowd favorite — just like you, Leo. It’s a traditional TJ’s treat that’s great for parties (again, we see you, girl) and is a simple, surefire way to spread that warm-hearted, generous spirit of yours.
VIRGO (AUGUST 23-SEPTEMBER 22)
Dark Chocolate Covered Peppermint Joe Joes: Perfect — it’s what these cookies are, and what you continually strive to be, Virgo. Jokes aside, Trader Joe’s Dark Chocolate Covered Peppermint Joe Joes are probably the best holiday snack on the block. The rich dark chocolate and zingy peppermint center combine for a taste that’s festive AF.
LIBRA (SEPTEMBER 23-OCTOBER 22)
Gingerbread Cookie Sticks: Spicy and sweet, chewy and firm, these gingerbread cookie sticks are as perfectly balanced as you are, Libra. As someone who actually looks forward to a full holiday party calendar (socializing is kind of your thing), you’d be wise to buy a few packs to bring as hostess gifts or to have on hand at the next company holiday happy hour.
SCORPIO (OCTOBER 23-NOVEMBER 21)
Cinnamon Stars Cookies: Sweet isn’t always your thing, Scorpio — you prefer your life (and your snacks) to be on the spicy side. Enter: TJ’s Cinnamon Star Cookies. They’ve got the right amount of kick, cut with a thin layer of sweet icing. Put these out during date night in for the perfect-for-you after-dinner treat.
SAGITTARIUS (NOVEMBER 22-DECEMBER 21)
Italian Butter Cookies & a Few Meringues: You’ll take your holiday treat with a side of something exotic, right Sag? You’ll try anything once and love the idea of exploring another country’s holiday traditions, which is why we suggest giving these Italian cookies a go. This assortment of crunchy cookies are deliciously buttery (except for the meringues, which sadly are not made with butter) and come in various flavors and shapes; they’re sure to transport you to an Italian holiday market (at least in your mind).
CAPRICORN (DECEMBER 22-JANUARY 19)
Mini Iced Gingerbread Men: The holiday season brings out the best in you, Cap. You live for tradition, and keeping the classics — like these mini iced gingerbread men cookies — close by means you’re ready for any impromptu party (and we know how much you like to be prepared). They’re crunchy with just enough spicy sweet going on to satisfy your high snacking standards.
AQUARIUS (JANUARY 20-FEBRUARY 18)
Almond Nog: You tend to go for something a little unusual when it comes to, well, basically everything in your life, Aquarius, and your festive snack choice is no exception. So we definitely think you’ll love this vegan, almond milk-based nog. Plus, you kind of like that nog is one of those love-it-or-hate-it traditions — it helps you assert your individualistic ways, even during the holidays.
PISCES (FEBRUARY 19-MARCH 20)
Mini Dark Chocolate Mint Stars: Since you’ve usually got your head in the clouds, Pisces, we figured you may as well have an appropriately cosmic snack while you’re up there. These bite-sized stars are seriously addicting and transcendentally tasty, so keep a box on hand for your post-hot-yoga workouts this holiday season.
Do you have a favorite Trader Joe’s holiday treat that we missed? Tweet us @BritandCo and let us know what we need to put on our list!
(Photos via Trader Joe’s)