Hinge’s New Feature Will Help You Find Your Most Compatible Partner

1. Is Our Relationship Moving at the "Right" Pace?

“After moving in together, many couples notice they have doubts about the progression of their relationship," licensed psychotherapist Christine Scott-Hudson says. “Each partner may experience uncertainty about their own or their partner's timing and may suffer if they relate their partner's faster pace to being pushed or their partner's slower pace to feeling unappreciated or undervalued." Once you're sharing a space with your S.O. 24/7, you may be more sensitive than ever to the fact that you're not on the same page about things like engagement, in-laws, children, and more. If you're experiencing doubt about how — and how quickly — your relationship is moving forward, start talking about it with bae ASAP. See if you can recalibrate your expectations and open up communication.

2. How Should We Be Handling Our Finances?

There are plenty of romantic elements about moving in with a partner, but money is also at play… and that's not so romantic. If you and your significant other didn't have an extensive conversation about finances before the move-in actually happened, you may be finding that your new roomie has financial habits that make you feel uncomfortable now that you're sharing bills. Certified mental health professional and relationship expert from Maple Holistics Adina Mahalli suggests seeking outside help when possible for this kind of issue. Sign up for a financial management class together to help put those doubts at ease. If that's not doable for you, try setting up a very clear budget so you can get back on the same page.

3. Can I Handle These Quirks Full-Time?

In the glow of a new relationship, your sweetie's idiosyncrasies may seem more cute than annoying. But when you're dealing with them front and center, day in and day out? Maybe not so much. “Once you move in together, your rose-colored glasses start to wear off and seemingly endearing traits become more irritating and harder to overlook," DatingScout dating expert Celia Schweyer notes. “Living together means you have to experience real life with your partner." Navigating those real-life annoyances while keeping your relationship strong requires communication and compromise, Schweyer says. Speak up (respectfully) about the habits that bother you, and come to the table with suggestions that will allow you and your partner to live in harmony without changing who you are. It's better than bottling up your frustration and becoming resentful.

4. What if We Start To Feel Like Roommates?

If, after living together for a while, you and your S.O. start to feel less like romantic partners and more like, well, roomies, don't panic. It happens. But it may create some doubt. Matchmaker, relationship expert, and Platinum Poire founder Rori Sassoon tells us that roommate syndrome can be solved by putting in some serious mutual work. Both of you will need to step up your game, communicate, and figure out how to get the dynamic back on track.

5. What If My Partner Starts to Hate My Quirks?

Just as you might suddenly doubt your relationship because your significant other's quirks are on display full-time, you may start to get insecure about how they perceive your quirks. “You will become more relaxed in your own home and less willing or able to keep up a show," marriage coach and relationship expertLesli Doares says. “This isn't necessarily a bad thing, but it can come as a surprise." Be open-minded about hearing your partner's feedback and don't shy away from trying to improve on some of the habits that cause issues.

Problematic Message: Love is the most exciting when it’s forbidden.

Even if you haven’t seen the romantic comedy, you’ve definitely seen the GIFs: Andrew Lincoln, playing Mark, professing his love for Keira Knightley’s character through handwritten signs, one of which reads the famous line, “To me, you are perfect.” Yes, it’s ultra-romantic — until you look a little closer. “Although we all love an honest display of love, making a play and expressing your love for your best friend’s wife is not a good start for a relationship, on or off screen,” Tcharkhoutian says.

And the most harmful part of these fictional narratives is that they only show a fraction, if any, of the fallout. “This is a toxic dynamic that devalues the dignity of marriage and romanticizes the idea of being in love with someone who is ‘off-limits,’ without portraying the harsh realities of this kind of basis for a relationship,” Tcharkhoutian explains.

Problematic Message: A relationship that began with ulterior motives can become healthy and functional.

There’s no denying that Kate Hudson and Matthew McConaughey are a dreamy pair, but in this movie, their relationship is a nightmare. Their quick rise to love is certainly entertaining, but the foundation of their relationship makes it impossible to exist outside of fiction.

The two meet as means to prove themselves at their respective jobs, and in true rom-com fashion, their supposedly real feelings take off from there. Tcharkhoutian cautions against this behavior in real life. “This can set up a relationship to be something in which a person is objectified as a vehicle to help you meet your needs, instead of a mutual union and partnership with pure and honest motives of loving each other through thick and thin,” she says.

Lucy and Jack in "While You Were Sleeping"

Problematic Message: Falling in love with the idea of someone can result in a happy ending.

No one can resist a Sandra Bullock romantic comedy, so it’s no surprise this movie is still revered as a classic of the genre. It has all the necessary components: an unrealistic plot (she saves a man’s life, is confused for his fiancée by his family, and then falls in love with his brother while he’s in a coma — like, come on!), a handsome boy-next-door lead and, of course, love. However, much like the relationship in How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, the foundation is faulty.

Falling in love with the idea of someone, as Sandra Bullock’s character does, doesn’t equate to falling in love with the actual person, Tcharkhoutian clarifies, and to start a relationship with this basis in real life is ill-advised.

Problematic Message: True love lies in the next adventure, which is far from your hometown and your past relationship.

Who hasn’t dreamt of traveling to a foreign country; staying in a cozy, remote cottage; and falling in love with someone even half as good-looking as Jude Law? Well, there’s a reason it’s a mere fantasy. Tcharkhoutian describes the phenomenon in The Holiday movie as escapism — the idea that you need to escape from your day-to-day life to find true happiness or, in this case, true love.

Although it’s fun to dream, if taken too far, this particular romantic comedy mentality can lead to irrational expectations. “This escapism mentality can create a false belief that international [relationships] are sustainable in the long-term,” Tcharkhoutian remarks. “True healthy relationships survive and thrive in the everyday, mundane routine, not in the exciting international adventure that depends on thrill and distance.”

Which rom-com couples stay together?

However, there are PLENTY of romantic comedy relationships we love! Some of our favorites include Nick and Rachel in Crazy Rich Asians, Matty and Jenna in 13 Going on 30, Harry and Sally in Meg Ryan's When Harry Met Sally, Elle and Emmett in Legally Blonde, and Peter and Lara Jean in To All The Boys I've Loved Before.

The Best Romantasy Books

Fourth Wing by Rebecca Yarros

*Sigh* Where do I start? This book squeezed my heart and cradled it at the same time. It also stoked an inner fire that felt eerily similar to a couple of scenes in the book that I've bookmarked 👀.

Meeting Violet Sorrengail was like peeling back the layers of thoughts I had about myself as a child. She initially thinks she's too fragile to be a gifted dragon rider like her siblings Brennan and Mira, but her mother — General Sorrengail — isn't easily swayed. So, off Violet goes to train or die trying.

From enemies who are more than willing to kill her at a heartbeat to developing a deep bond with two dragons — something that's unheard of — Violet finds herself realizing she's more powerful than she's given herself credit for.

Iron Flame by Rebecca Yarros

I'm still trying to make sense of the way Iron Flame took my emotions on the wildest ride. Although I'm still recovering and yearning for more, I have to commend Rebecca Yarros for giving us two of the best Romantasy books of our time.

When we catch up with Violet Sorrengail again, she's managed to enter her second year at Basgiath War College without dying. Although she's a lot more resilient than she gives herself credit for, she knows there's still so much to learn.

The lessons she's learning are harsher and it seems like she's still being targeted for several reasons. As she tries hard to navigate the things she needs to learn in order to survive, she begins realizing there's an internal threat that's far greater than anyone could've imagined.

It'll take all of her allies, her dragons, and her greatest love to eliminate this threat. The problem is that nothing will ever be the same once it's all said and done.

Deep Is The Fen by Lili Wilinson

If you're looking for a romantasy book that's a little less spicy, Deep Is The Fen is a great read!

It centers around Merry's reluctant interactions with the magic she's been trying so hard to stay away from. When she finds out that her best friend Teddy is joining the Toadmen, she makes it her personal mission to stop him. What she doesn't think anyone knows is her ability to see the swirling magic that surrounds all life forms.

It's this same second sight that comes in handy as she joins forces with her sworn enemy Caraway Boswell. Together, they attend the famed Toad ritual in Deeping Fen and it's only until it's too late that Merry realizes the Toadmen are more sinister than she thought.

And they've been waiting for her.

The Midnight Bargain by C.L. Polk

If you have a taste for more magic, you'll love reading The Midnight Bargain.

Unlike our heroine in Deep Is The Fen, Beatrice Clayborn embraces that she's able to use magic, but she has keep it hidden lest she be confined by a 'marital collar.' If you just shuddered, I'm here to tell you it's as bad as it sounds.

Our dear Beatrice wants to become a Magus, but her family is more concerned with making sure she's prepared to secure an amazing marriage. In other words, women aren't supposed to be able to wield magic as powerfully as men. There's also the fact that her family isn't exactly wealthy so her getting married would truly help them.

Still, Beatrice decides to keep pursuing a desire to become a Magus though her plans are almost ruined when another sorceress steals the one thing that'll secure her position. Desperate to have it in her possession again, Beatrice does a bit of conjuring that leads her to a crossroads.

Will she choose her dreams over her family's future or will she give up everything — magic, who she is at her core, and her goals — to save them?

The Hemlock Queen by Hannah Whitten

I highly recommend that you read The Foxglove King before starting this book, but it's on the list because it's my favorite out of the series!

The Hemlock Queen picks up after the twisted king August has died, but his influence is still felt among the royal court. They're not exactly thrilled that Prince Bastian and the trusted Lore are trying to change what they've become used to, creating a lot more unruliness than they were anticipating. It's in the midst of this that Lore can sense a coldheartedness growing in Prince Bastian that wasn't there before.

As time passes, something begins beckoning to Lore to pay more attention to things around her. It wants her to find the truth about herself and what's in front of her.

She'll have to race against the time to find the answers before she loses Bastian and everything else she loves.

The Hanging City by Charlie N. Holmberg

Lark has spent years hiding from her overly domineering father and hasn't found a place to call home yet. The thing that's kept her safe is her ability to cause anyone to feel fear in her presence which has come in handy. With no other options, she decides to seek refuge among the trolls in Cagmar.

She's quickly accepted into their society because they realize she's not like most humans that are in Cagmar. The only rule she has to follow is to never kill a troll even though the most powerful one utterly despises her for being human.

She'll have to learn how to survive in a brand new way while figuring out things about herself, her past, and the family she grew up in.