Millennial Women Tend to Lead With Their Hearts When It Comes to Giving Back

Feb 10, 2018

The whole idea of sharing being synonymous with caring shouldn’t be new to you. If you’re anything like us, those conveniently rhyming words have been linked in your mind ever since you heard that all-too-handy saying about them — “sharing is caring!” — used by your kindergarten teacher. Back in those days, sharing probably meant resisting the urge to throw a temper tantrum when a classmate asked to use your favorite crayon, but now that we’re adults (ew), sharing obviously looks a little different, and extends to our ability to be generous with our money. Many millennial women have taken the sharing-is-caring mantra to heart, and there are some unique trends among our generation when it comes to being charitable, according to a new report from Fidelity Charitable.

Compiled based on feedback from more than 3,000 donors, the Women and Giving report is chock full of interesting insights about how women from various generations opt to give back. While some of the differences can be attributed to age more than generation — for example, millennial women haven’t had as much time to build up wealth and reinvest it in meaningful causes than Baby Boomer women — others can definitely be traced to different philosophies and priorities.

We chatted with Fidelity Charitable’s Director of Insights and Thought Leadership Susan Shell (a millennial herself!) to learn more. Keep reading for more details on these millennial trends.

1. Millennial women are focused on the environment and on causes that specifically affect women, girls, and international communities. While Baby Boomers tend to prioritize giving back to disease-fighting organizations and other health-related causes, millennials are putting their money behind groups that are working to prevent damage to the environment and to provide support for groups of people with limited access to resources and opportunities — namely women, girls, and people living in other parts of the world. “Millennials have grown up in a world that is so much more connected than the Boomer generation,” Shell says. “Something that’s happening halfway around the world feels much closer. Millennials live in this interconnected world and that really spills over into their giving.”

2. Millennial women are giving more spontaneously. Women from our mothers’ and grandmothers’ generations have tended to have a clearer strategy around their charitable giving, according to Shell, and while some of that is certainly a factor of age and wisdom, it can also be attributed to the influence of social media. You know the drill: You’re scrolling through Facebook and see that three of your BFFs are participating in races or dodgeball tournaments to benefit a cause that’s meaningful to them. Of course you’re going to pledge a few dollars. Social media and crowdfunding have conditioned millennial women to give on a more ad hoc basis. Generations before us preferred to have one or two causes or organizations that they put most of their charitable dollars behind.

3. Millennial women lead with their heart when it comes to charitable giving. Per the Women and Giving report, three-quarters of millennial women say they follow their heart in choosing how to give back. This is part of the broader trend away from more strategic giving. Millennial ladies are putting their money where their heart is… and you know what? That’s okay!

4. Millennial women make giving social. “The social approach is about giving being much more integrated into millennials’ daily lives,” Shell tells us. “More so than any other generation, millennials are talking about their giving with their peers. With their spouses, they’re using conversations about giving as a way to deepen their relationships. Millennials are more likely to encourage friends to donate to the same causes they’re donating to. They’re more likely to advertise a cause on social media.” Retweet!

5. Millennial women are struggling to see the impact of their donations. The downside to all of this, perhaps, is that millennials aren’t seeing the impact of their giving the way they would like to — which is ironic, since we’re often referred to as “the impact generation.” “Millennials are giving a little bit more in the moment, but they’re also less satisfied with their giving than any other generation,” Shell says. “Even though they’re so emotionally connected to giving, they’re giving to a much broader range of causes than older cohorts. It sort of dilutes their sense of impact.” If this feeling sounds familiar to you, Shell recommends getting a little more strategic about your donations (hey — we have a lot to learn from our moms and grandmothers!). Take time to consider how much you can budget over the course of the year for giving back, then set aside 60 to 70 percent of that amount for causes that you know will make you feel impactful. The remaining 30 to 40 percent can support more spontaneous giving.

Do you have a favorite cause to give to? Tweet us @BritandCo!

(Photo via Getty)

7 Ways to Stay Positive Even During the Toughest Times

A lot of people pride themselves on being optimists, and TBH, if you canstay positivewith everything that’s going on in the world today, major props to you. For most people who consider themselves the glass-half-full type, it’s a lifestyle. They try to look at everything that comes their way, from relationship troubles to work mistakes, with a positive spin. But a recent study investigated whether optimists still stay more positive than pessimists when things get really tough, and what they found was pretty surprising.

Scientists analyzed nine previous studies to see how both optimists and pessimists brace themselves for receiving important and potentially negative news, like medical test results. They found that even though people who identify as optimists tend to be more positive in general, they too start assuming the worst as the moment of truth about something important nears. It’s easy to understand this instinct, since some people tend to believe that preparing yourself for the worst will ultimately make it less shocking if it happens. On the other hand, some people would rather stay positive whenever possible, since it’s easier to fight off stress and anxiety when you have a sunny outlook. Here, we’ve gathered some of our favorite expert tips for staying optimistic when you’re dealing with some super hard stuff.

How To Stay Positive

1.Learn to reframe negativity. “The trick to positivity is not avoiding pessimism,” says Elaine Taylor-Klaus, a certified professional coach. “It’s really about how quickly you can redirect your focus from negative to positive. Critical thinkers are going to see problems to be solved, but the ability to ‘reframe’ the conversation is the really important skill for people to practice.” She recommends getting into the habit of acknowledging negative thoughts and then asking, “What else is possible here?” This can guide you back into a positive mindset more quickly.

“Bottom line: Negativity happens,” she says. “Positivity is a choice, and the quicker you learn to reframe, the more time you’ll spend in a positive space. Then, over time, the more likely you are to turn directly to a positive interpretation of events.”

2. Ask yourself if this will matter a month or year from now. Sometimes things seem crucial AF in the moment, but might be inconsequential even just a few days after that. Just think about high school drama. “When we can leave the past behind and even know in the present moment that this feeling won’t last, it can help to remind us that time heals and life goes on,” explainsSharon Stokes, life-fulfillment coach.

3.Give back. Volunteering is an amazing way to change your entire perspective, saysLyssa Menard, a clinical health psychologist, founder of Strategies for Changeand assistant professor at Northwestern University’s medical school. “There are many organizations that don’t require an ongoing commitment, so sign up for an event that’s meaningful. Research shows that giving to others is one of the quickest routes toward happiness. While happiness and positivity are different, they’re correlated,” Lyssa says.

4. Role play to be more objective. Playing a little mind trick on yourself can work wonders, says Lori Scherwin of Strategize That, a career coaching service. “We’re often better at helping others than ourselves,” she notes. “Make the situation more objective and less personal to you. For example, consider if it were anyone else in the situation (like your best friend, partner or colleague). How would you see the same ‘problem?’ What advice might you give them to get out of it?” she asks. This will help you shift from being super hard on yourself to more objective, and most likely, more positive.

5. Make changes to things that are within your control. Spending time worrying about something that you can’t change isn’t really worth the effort. Instead, “Focus on areas where you have agency,” suggests Holly Burton, a career coach for women in male-dominated industries. “You may be stuck in a role you don’t love at work, but you could probably work a few extra hours a week and take on a project that interests you. You could also schedule some proactive meetings with your boss to make an action plan to develop the skills you need to make a lateral move,” she says. In most situations, whether they’re career-related or not, it’s possible to take actions to make things better for yourself.

6. Practice radical acceptance. Some professional coaches suggest trying out the idea of radical acceptance, which is basically accepting the things you cannot change, even if they’re not right or you don’t agree with them.

7.Try this gratitude challenge. First, journal about one event each day for seven days that made you feel happy and/or thankful and include the specifics of why it made you feel that way, going deep into the details. Second, send one random thank you email or text to someone each day, either personally or professionally. This message should include what they did and why it’s worthy of the shout out. Detailed gratitude journals are proven to improve your life satisfaction, so try to stick to a gratitude practice, even in the good times!

What do you do when you’re trying to stay optimistic? Have you tried any of these techniques? Tell us about it @BritandCo!

This article has been updated.

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Oprah Announced Her Book Club's 105th Pick!

Oprah Winfrey is much more than a legend. She's one of the reigning stars of daytime TV, creating such a memorable empire that just her first name carries weight. She's full of wisdomand loves celebrating the success of others. Excuse me, that's grounds for a standing ovation.

In addition to all of the things she's accomplished, Oprah has steadily added books to her book club list since 1996. To date, there are 105 titles she's read and chosen to share with others. If you're thinking, "That's a lot of books" then I agree. But, her goal is to highlight both seasoned and new writers who dare to weave together fiction as well as nonfiction works.

After going through the list, here's everything we think you need to add to your at-home library.

Image via Oprah Daily/Eli Schmidt

Yesterday, Oprah announced her book club's 105th pick On OprahDaily.com and CBS Mornings, where she appeared with author Colm Tóibín to discuss his newly released book Long Island. She had nothing but praise for the novel and said, "I was captivated. Tóibín builds the story around a woman whose life changes seemingly overnight with the news of her husband’s infidelity. It opens the door to her own secrets, grappling with choices she made long ago, urging her to break free from the silences she built around her life. A wonderful page-turner to start your summer reading.”

Image via Cody Love for Oprah Daily

On OprahDaily.com and CBS Mornings, Oprah Winfrey excitedly shared her book club's 104th pick: The Many Lives of Mama Love by Lara Love Hardin. In a touching video, Oprah can be seen surprising Hardin in what feels like a "full circle moment." While trying to process her book being chosen as Oprah's next book club pick, Hardin can be heard saying, "I'm just overwhelmed right now. I'm so grateful."

It's a memoir that details how Hardin's past addiction to opiates caused her to make dire decisions that led her to serve jail time. Not only that, but Hardin eventually finds a way to show herself grace as she reconnects with her children and becomes an ally for other women who are incarcerated.

For a sneak peek of what you can expect in the novel, read an exclusive excerpt on OprahDaily.com!

Long Island by Colm Tóibín

Long Island tells the tale of Eilis Lacey and the discovery of her husband's infidelity. Things start off well enough with Eilis and her husband Tony Fiorello living near his family. The family spends a lot of time together and it feels like they have a quintessential bond that can't be broken.

But when Eilis discovers that a man's wife is carrying Tony's child and they don't want anything to do with the baby, she begins to start looking at her own desires as well as the things she's kept secret for the sake of her marriage. She ends up journeying to a familiar place to rediscover herself and it ignites an inner flame that she thought she lost.

The Many Lives of Mama Love by Lara Love Hardin

According to OprahDaily.com, here's the reading schedule for The Many Lives of Mama Love that'll take place on Oprah's book club's Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok channels.

Week #1: Chapters 1–8

Pages 1 to 103

Discussion begins on Saturday, March 9.

Week #2: Chapters 9–14

Pages 105 to 206

Discussion begins on Saturday, March 16.

Week #3: Chapter 15–End

Pages 207 to 304

Discussion begins on Saturday, March 23.

Be sure to grab your copy of The Many Lives of Mama Love so you can join the discussion!

Let Us Descend

Also listed on the Amazon top books list, Let Us Descend is a masterful tale that views slavery through the lens of a young girl who makes powerful discoveries as along her journey. When Annis is sold by her father — a white slave owner — she finds herself thrust into a world at a sugar plantation. Guided by otherworldly spirits, she finds herself coming to terms with who she is despite her circumstances.

"Demon Copperhead" by Barbara Kingsolver Has Something Big To Celebrate

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Last year on Instagram, Oprah's book club announced that Demon Copperhead by Barvara Kingsolver was celebrating a longstanding run on the NYT Bestseller list. This is surely a testament to the way Kingsolver weaves emotion into her written work for readers to feel.

Read our synopsis of "Demon Copperhead" below!

Demon Copperhead by Barbara Kingsolver

It comes as no surprise that Demon Copperhead continues to give a name and face to the perils the young face while growing up. In this case, Demon is learning to come to terms with his upbringing along with the feeling he's not being seen.

Wellness

Oprah's latest book club pick is written by the talented Nathan Hill. Hill paints a picture of the how the idealistic view of marriage and life can feel out of touch with reality. After falling in love during their college days, Jack and Elizabeth are shocked to discover things feel vastly differently decades later. Forced to either turn from each other or peel back layers of hidden things they've never addressed, they make a decision that'll change the course of everything they've known.

Bittersweet by Susan Cain

Bittersweet tackles an emotion we know all too well — sadness. Susan Cain calls for readers to acknowledge that they don't always feel positive, especially when heartbreaking things occur in life.

Nightcrawling by Leila Mottley

With the odds seemingly stacked against them, siblings Kiara and Marcus do what they can to survive while also helping a young neighbor. However, a chance encounter with a stranger grants Kiara with a job that helps sustain them — until she's caught up in a web of secrets that begins with an investigation. Found out what fate has in store for her in Nightcrawling.

Hidden Valley Road: Inside the Mind of an American Family by Robert Kolker

Robert Kolker takes a look at how six of the Galvin children were diagnosed with schizophrenia while the other four weren't. Hidden Valley Road: Inside the Mind of an American Family details how a 'perfect' example of a nuclear family grappled with secrets and mental illness, something that sounds all too familiar.

Olive, Again by Elizabeth Strout

Olive is all at once stubborn and lovable in Olive, Again. From an odd birth experience to her reluctance to accept an inheritance, Olive's life goes through a series of ups and downs that readers will be able to resonate with.

Wild by Cheryl Strayed

In a different take of Eat, Pray, Love, young Cheryl decides to go on a hike of more than a thousand miles after the death of her mother and dissolution of her marriage. Her journey is one of self-discovery and healing all at once.

Sula by Toni Morrison

Two friends, Nel and Sula, have a strong bond that takes them through many stages in their lives. But when a betrayal rocks their friendship, they find themselves on opposing sides. Learn what their outcome is in Sula.

House of Sand and Fogby Andre Dubus III

Living with roommates can prove to be tricky but one thing's for sure - stories and lives often intertwine. House of Sand and Fog weaves a tale of strangers whose lives do just that and then some.

The Poisonwood Bible by Barbara Kingsolver

The Poisonwood Bible follows the Price family, led by devout Evangelist Nathan, as they travel to the Congo in 1959. Determined to save souls, Nathan's fierceness and stubborn nature lead to tragedy that changes the trajectory of the women in his life.

White Oleander by Janet Fitch

When Astrid's mother is sentenced for committing murder, she faces herself immersed in the foster care system in Los Angeles. As the things she faces changes from each home she's placed in, Astrid comes of age and somehow finds her footing.

The Pilot's Wifeby Anita Shreve

When Kathryn's pilot husband dies in a crash, the peaceful and predictable life she'd been living is upended. What happens when she begins to doubt her husband's identity? Find out in The Pilot's Wife.

The Way of Integrity: Finding The Path to Your True Self by Martha Beck

Martha Beck paints a case of what it means to live a life that aligns with our true self in The Way of Integrity: Finding The Path to Your True Self. She also shares what happens when we fall out of that alignment but offers attainable ways to figure out who we really are.

Bewilderment by Richard Powers

When astrobiologist Theo Byrne finds himself coming to terms with his wife's death and their son's troubled behavior, he finds himself willing to do whatever it takes to get him the help he needs. Faced with a chance to try a neurofeedback treatment that features the brain patterns of his late wife, Theo decides it's worth trying in Bewilderment.

Gilead by Marilynne Robinson

Reverend John Ames decides to write to his son about his family's history - particularly that of his father and grandfather in Gilead. It's a tale that weaves together spirituality, wisdom and more.

More titles on Oprah Winfrey's Book Club List:

The Covenant of Water by Abraham Verghese
Hello Beautiful by Ann Napolitano
That Bird Has My Wings by Jarvis Jay Masters
Finding Me by Viola Davis
The Love Songs of W.E.B. Dubois by Honorée Fanonne Jeffers
The Sweetness of Water by Nathan Harris
Home by Marilynne Robinson
Lila by Marilynn Robinson
Jack by Maryilnne Robinson
Caste: The Origins of Our Discontent by Isabel Wilkerson
Deacon King Kong by James McBride
American Dirt: A Novel by Jeanine Cummins
The Water Dancer: A Novel by Ta-Nehisi Coates
Becoming by Michelle Obama
The Sun Does Shine by Anthony Ray Hinton
An American Marriage by Tayari Jones
Behold the Dreamers by Imbolo Mbue
Love Warrior by Glennon Doyle
The Underground Railroad by Colson Whitehead
Ruby by Cynthia Bond
The Invention of Wings by Sue Monk Kidd
The Twelve Tribes of Hattie by Ayana Mathis
A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens
Great Expectations by Charles Dickens
Freedom by Jonathan Franzen
Say You're One of Them by Uwen Akpan
The Story of Edgar Sawtelle by David Wroblewski
A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle
The New Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett
Love in the Time of Cholera by Gabriel García Márquez
Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides
The Road by Cormac McCarthy
The Measure of a Man by Sidney Poitier
Night by Elie Wiesel
A Million Little Pieces by James Frey
Light In August by William Faulkner
The Sound and Fury by William Faulkner
As I lay Dying by William Faulkner
The Good Earth by Pearl S. Buck
Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy
The Heart Is a Lonely Hunter by Carson McCullers
One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel García Márquez
Cry, The Beloved Country by Alan Paton
East of Eden by John Steinbeck
Fall on Your Knees by Ann-Marie MacDonald
A Fine Balance by Rohinton Mistry
The Corrections by Jonathan Franzen
Cane River by Lalita Tademy
Stolen Livens by Malika Oufkir and Michėle Fitoussi
Icy Sparks by Gwyn Hyman Rubio
We Were The Mulvaneys by Joyce Carol Oates
Drowing Ruth by C/hristina Schwartz
Open House by Elizabeth Berg
While I was Gone by Sue Miller
The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison
Back Roads by Tawni O'Dell
Daughter of Fortune by Isabel Allende
Gap Creek by Robert Morgan
Vinegar Hill by Manette Ansay
River, Cross My Heart by Breena Clarke
Tara Road by Maeve Binchy
Mother of Pearl by Melinda Haynes
The Reader by Bernhard Schlink
Jewel by Bret Lott
Where the Heart Is by Billie Letts
What Looks Like Crazy on an Ordinary Day by Pearl Cleage

See Oprah Winfrey's entire book club list here.

Which book(s) are you going to add to your kindle or bookshelf? Let us know in the comments and subscribe to our newsletter for more updates!

Brit + Co. may at times use affiliate links to promote products sold by others, but always offers genuine editorial recommendations.

Lead image via Cody Love for Oprah Daily

This post has been updated.

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How Your Myers-Briggs Personality Type Affects Your Dreams

It's fun to learn more about ourselves and to feel understood — that's why we take personality tests so incessantly. And since we live in an age of increased self-awareness, we can apply those tests to so many things, like our Hogwarts house and makeup preferences. Clearly, knowing thyself has taken on a whole new meaning lately, and we love the things that these tests can tell us — but did you ever wonder how your personality might affect your dreams? In a new study, Best Mattress Brand set out to discover whether specific types of people had particular types of dreams. Read on for their fascinating results.

The test explored each component of the Myers-Briggs types, which can be broken down into eight characteristics:

Extraversion or Introversion: This is the way you focus your energy. Extroverts focus on the outside world, and Introverts focus on their inner world.

Sensing or Intuition: This is the way you process information. Sensing individuals focus on the facts, and Intuitive individuals interpret the facts.

Thinking or Feeling: This is the way you make decisions. Thinkers process decisions logically, and Feelers make decisions with context and emotion in mind.

Judging or Perceiving: This is the lens through which you interpret the world. Judgers prefer decisive action, while Perceivers like to keep their options open.

Together, your individual combination of these eight traits creates your personality type. Given these traits as variables, the study surveyed 1,000 people on their Myers Briggs traits and their sleep habits.

As you'd imagine, there were a lot of discrepancies between Introverts and Extroverts. Interestingly enough, Extroverts are 17.7 percent more satisfied with their levels of energy during waking hours than their introverted counterparts. Perhaps it's because of their dream habits: Extroverts also have 8.3 percent fewer nightmares than Introverts. Extroverts also dream about traveling 13.9 percent more often than Introverts do.

What about the content of these dreams? If you're Intuitive, you're 16.8 percent more likely to dream about being killed than Sensers are. Apparently, Intuitive individuals' dreams are more violent across the board: They also dream about getting attacked and “punching something with no effect" more often.

There's also a substantial difference between Thinkers and Feelers when it comes to dreams. The more emotional Feelers dream about getting pregnant more often than Thinkers do, and they dream about their friends more often too. Perhaps Thinkers are just thinking too hard; they talk in their sleep almost 10 percent more than Feelers do.

The Judgers and Perceivers have their differences as well; in fact, Perceivers have night terrors 10.2 percent more often than Judgers, probably due to the fact that they experience reality so deeply.

Does your personality type match up with these findings? Let us know @BritandCo.

(Photo via Brit + Co)

This post has been updated.

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Chad Michael Murray Teases "A Cinderella Story" Anniversary Surprise

Somehow, we have reached the 20th anniversary of A Cinderella Story. (2004 really was THAT year. The Notebook, A Cinderella Story,Mean Girls). Behind the scenes of an interview with the Today Show, Chad Michael Murray (who played Austin Ames in the movie opposite Hilary Duff's Sam) teased some kind of celebration coming our way!

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Replying to @Mystery bagel tw: emotional ‼️ one of the most iconic scenes #cinderellastory #chadmichaelmurray

"Do you realize this July is the 20th anniversary of A Cinderella Story?" Chad Michael Murray asks the camera. "Next week, we're going to do a little Austin Ames wink and nod to at the fans. You'll see."

There are literally so many things Chad could do in honor of the anniversary, which is happening July 16. The actor has played basketball at his One Tree Hill reunions, so maybe he'd play some football. He could also break out his old costume or reenact the iconic "Waiting for you is like waiting for rain in this drought. Useless and disappointing," scene with Hilary Duff — but TBH I hope whatever he does, he does it with Hilary. This would be the reunion I've been waiting for!!

Image via Kevin Winter/Getty Images

Chad Michael Murray has talked about the fun of filming A Cinderella Story in the past — and how hilarious it is his character supposedly couldn't recognize Hilary Duff in the mask. "If you go to masquerade mall and a girl you see almost every day is wearing a small mask and her entire face is exposed and you still can't recognize her, you should probably see an eye doctor... among a few other doctors," he jokes with E! News.

How will you be celebrating the anniversary of A Cinderella Story this July? Let us know on Facebook!

Lead image via Warner Bros. Pictures

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These "Bridgerton" Stars Might Be Dating IRL

If there's one word to describe Bridgerton, it's romantic. The costumes, the makeup, the press tour moments between season 3 leads Nicola Coughlan and Luke Newton — all of it leaves me giggling and kicking my feet. And apparently, love might be in the air for two other Bridgerton cast members: Luke Thompson and Harriet Cains!

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Luke Thompson (who plays Benedict Bridgerton) and Harriet Cains (Philippa Featherington) were spotted at the Vanity Fair EE BAFTA Rising Star Party together, and they were getting cozy. The deeper I go into the rabbit hole the more I find and suddenly, this is my favorite (potential) celebrity couple!

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A post shared by Luke Thompson Germany (@lukethompsongermany)

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These besties are clearly so comfortable around each other, and aren't afraid to get up close and personal. (A fact that might scandalize Harriet's character Philippa Featherington. It seems pretty par for the course for Benedict Bridgerton). Luke Thompson and Harriet Cains might be the couple I'm rooting for, but fans are also hoping to see Benedict find love with Sophie Beckett in Bridgerton season 4. And Luke is expecting to learn even more about his character the longer the show sticks around.

"The more you stay with a character, the more you start to see the chinks in the armor, a bit of vulnerability," he told Vestal Mag in 2022. "Benedict is no exception this season, no matter how blasé he seems to want to be."

I love seeing how Benedict isn't afraid to be his goofy self, and how much he looks out for his siblings (particularly Eloise, which is my favorite relationship on the show!), but things might change once he really, truly falls in love. I don't think Sophie will make him act any less himself, but I'm excited to see how she brings out different parts of his personality we haven't seen yet — and emphasizes the aspects we know and love.

Check out our Bridgerton season 3 interview for more news on your favorite show, and see if the Bridgerton World Tour is coming to a city near you!

Lead image via Netflix

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