Why Your BFF’s Relationship With Your S.O. Is So Important
The Harry Potter love trifecta (that’s Harry, Ron and Hermione) enamors us because it is so much more than romance between Ron and Hermione. The relationships between the three legendary characters in J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter novels are based on a deep and loyal friendship. Ron and Hermione’s romantic love might be easy to see in the books, but their platonic love for Harry is what makes their trio so great. And while we might never reach this level of #squadgoals (especially because, let’s face it, we’re Muggles), we can all strive to strike the balance that Ron and Hermione have with their best friend, Harry.
Dr. Sara Trask, a communications professor at Randolph-Macon College, says that your SO’s relationship with your best friend and inner circle can be a really important one. “When your friends and family approve of your significant other, individuals report feeling more love and commitment and have greater relational satisfaction,” Trask said, citing a study by Dr. Karen Blair.
It makes sense: It’s a good sign if your best friend and your SO get along. However, there’s an interesting counterpart to this theory. If your inner circle disapproves of your boyfriend or girlfriend, it can negatively affect your relationship, as well as your mental and physical health. In order to combat this disapproval, Trask said that many couples use “’influencing behavior,’ which is where individuals try to seek their social network’s approval by talking up their partner or discussing how wonderful their dates are.”
While there aren’t studies on the effectiveness of this behavior, Trask recommends listening to and validating your best friend’s opinion — doing so reminds them that they’re still an important influence in your life, despite your relationship status. Just who is in your inner circle is important too. According to Trask, studies show that friends’ opinions are much more likely to influence how much you like and are willing to date a potential partner, rather than parents’ opinions. This is especially prominent for individuals who don’t rely on their parents or family as financial or emotional resources.
While the importance of your Harry in your Ron/Hermione relationship is obvious, there are also exceptions to the rule that your best friend and SO have to get along. One exception is called the Romeo and Juliet effect, which suggests that individuals disregard their family and friends’ opinions and that, ultimately, love conquers all.
This effect happens under certain conditions. If only a few members of your inner circle disapprove (or if you believe you can change dissenting opinions), you might find yourself in a Montague and Capulet-esque situation. While some couples can find happiness despite the disapproval of their best friends, Trask says that working to create a friendship between your inner circle and your SO is still a proven method to ensure your relationship and friendships stay intact.
“It can be inferred that though there are a few instances in which others’ approval may not be the be-all end-all of a relationship, ultimately, relationships fair a lot better when family and friends approve and support them,” Trask said.
Have any experience with best friends and significant others? Let us know how you handled it by tweeting us @BritandCo!
(Photos via Getty)
Pocket doors are so delightful in and of themselves. They appear when you need them, get tucked away when you don't, and make it easy to define rooms while keeping an open floor plan. Add to the pocket door a joyful patterned wallpaper surprise, and you will be sent right into fits of visual jubilation! Or something ;) Today we're sharing two simple and impactful pocket door makeovers that zhuzh up your space in a jiffy.
Anjelika Temple here, co-founder of Brit + Co and proud owner of several pocket doors! When I moved into my first real grown-up house a couple years ago, I knew I wanted to incorporate wallpaper so reached out to our friends at Chasing Paper to see how we might collaborate. It felt like a total lightbulb moment when I realized I could create a surprise pop of pattern on a couple sets of pocket doors.
Not only is it a whimsical way to bring color into a space, but the doors double as picture-perfect backdrops for all your SFH (selfies from home, obvs).
A few pro tips about install:
- Removable wallpaper is miraculously forgiving! You can take it on and off multiple times without it losing integrity (or mucking up your surface).
- I ordered this adhesive wallpaper installation kit with a squeegee and xacto knife and it worked super well. I also recommend a sharp pair of scissors for cutting longer lines.
- This is a two-person job! Get a friend, put on a playlist, and get ready to bond.
- Wild, organic patterns like Tally are great because it's challenging to spot any imperfections in pattern alignment; keep pattern choice in mind if you've got a lot of corners to match up. More geometric patterns and larger shapes leave less room for error (but are awesome in their own right!).
BATHROOM POCKET DOORS
In our primary bathroom, we chose the wallpaper pattern Tally, designed by Kelly Ventura, in White and Navy. In our space, the navy reads as a soft black, which is perfect for the space. It's easy to combine an ever-rotating collection of linens with the Tally pattern.
I love how the white trim becomes the perfect frame around this pocket door piece of art.
My favorite moment in this space is the fact that you actually get a third pop of pattern thanks to our serendipitously placed mirror!
And yes, this one works pretty darn well as a backdrop too ;)
LIVING ROOM DOUBLE DOORS
This set of doors is definitely a focal point of our home. It separates our living room from our primary bedroom which opens onto our backyard. The doors are pretty much always open, but when they're closed we wanted to evoke a fun, nature-inspired vibe. With that in mind, we selected the Lines and Moons pattern by Thimblepress in Green and Brown.
Earth mama vibes up in here! I love how the shapes and colors echo the ferns you see through the windows and the acorn wood details throughout the house.
Love this pattern moment, and xacto-ing out the door handle is def on the oddly satisfying DIY list.
For a pattern lover like me, I love that now I have this instant photo backdrop!
Thanks to Chasing Paper for providing these rolls of pure pattern amazingness. Head to chasingpaper.com to find our own favorites and start adding patterns to your home!
(Wallpaper wingwoman: Kayla Haykin; Photography: Kurt Andre)