15 Morning Habits to Boost Your Creativity All Day

No matter how much truth there may be to that old saying about the early bird getting the worm, we can’t all be morning people. There’s a rumor going around that early risers are more productive than the rest of us, but bed is just so comfortable… and that obnoxious alarm is just so, so terrible. We feel you on the whole “Can I stay under the blankets for just a few more minutes?” thing, but we all have to begin the day eventually. So why wouldn’t we want to put our best foot forward? In hopes of getting you more motivated to start the day with a good attitude, we consulted with creatives and lifestyle experts who have spent years honing their own morning routines for maximum inspiration. These suggestions should give you a serious boost of fresh ideas and productivity: We dare you to hit snooze once you start giving them a shot!

1. Engage in a moving meditation. Your morning routine is more than just the process that takes you from bedhead to beautiful. Make the most of it by doing some mindful multitasking. “Treat your first waking hour as a kind of moving meditation,” says leadership expert Steve Farber. “While you’re brushing your teeth, taking a shower, [and] pouring your coffee, don’t think about what’s ahead. Don’t think about your tasks, deadlines, pressures, or calendar. Let your thoughts and awareness move to the people and things in your life that you’re grateful for.” This tip is especially perfect if you’ve struggled with more traditional forms of meditation.

2. Shower. In all likelihood, a shower is part of your morning routine anyway, but if you start thinking of it as part of your creative process, you may find your whole day transformed! Creative entrepreneur Nadine Russell takes advantage of those precious shower moments by using the time to get centered and start brainstorming the ideas she wants to take action on throughout the day. Certain studies have even shown that a morning shower can spark creativity.

3. Avoid social media. We know, we know — people are always suggesting that taking a break from social media can be the solution to, well, everything. But hear us out! Getting intentional about starting your routine with something other than what you can scroll through on your phone can really set you up to be more positive and creative throughout the day. “By forcing myself to keep my phone charging in a different room overnight, when I wake up in the morning, I’m alone with my own thoughts,” explains certified financial coach and entrepreneur Emily Shutt. “I have much greater mental clarity and an enhanced ability to pursue creative endeavors because I’m not bogged down by reactions to other people’s social media posts.”

4. Listen to your vision board. Yup, you read that correctly. Artist and clothing designer June Cruz recently incorporated this habit into her morning routine, and she’s loving it! Rather than creating a physical vision board made of magazine clippings and photographic inspo, Cruz recorded herself talking about her ideal, most productive day. Each morning, she listens to that recording as a reminder that achieving her goals and being creative are within reach.

5. Don’t check your email. Your inbox doesn’t need to be your first destination. When you check your email early in the day, you end up planning the next few hours based on what other people want and need. By the time you start working on your own priorities, the day is almost over! “By not checking your email… until you’ve spent at least an hour regrouping with yourself, reflecting upon a gratitude list, enjoying your coffee, or whatever brings you more spaciousness, you’ll find that this amplifies your creative spirit to move forward with what you want to do, rather than what you think you have to do,” encourages entrepreneur and mastermind leader Judy Tsuei.

6. Take a walk.Erica Bramham — a musician, composer, music teacher, and podcaster based in Australia — makes a morning walk a priority, which she says is especially critical since she works from home. “It opens my mind to new ideas and helps me sort out what I really want to do with my day.” Bonus points if you leave your phone at home!

7. Pay attention to your dreams. Writer and certified dream expert Tzivia Gover reminds us that dreams are anything but arbitrary. Start thinking about your dreams as a starting point for your creative endeavors. Keep a pen and paper next to your bed so you can immediately make note of any middle-of-the-night revelations that feel particularly inspiring.

8. Meditate. “Meditation not only helps us relax and destress, but it also gives us all sorts of unexpected perks and gifts, like increased mental strength, focus, and creativity,” say Elizabeth and Sukey Novogratz, authors of Just Sit. CEO and co-founder of content innovation studio WP Narrative_ Tricia Clarke-Stone echoes the importance of meditation in her own experience: “Meditation is my way to clear the mind and make space for things that aren’t right in front of me.”

9. Practice morning pages. Inspired by Julia Cameron’s famous The Artist’s Way, author and life coach Diana Fletcher engages in a daily journaling habit that’s proven instrumental in her own creative growth over the last two decades. Curious? Set your alarm 20 minutes earlier than absolutely necessary and put pen to paper! “You just start writing,” Fletcher says. “It can be boring, trivial, or complaining. The point of this is that you clear all the mundane stuff out of your mind, clearing the way for creativity and creative thoughts.”

10. Enjoy some quiet. Resist the urge to immediately turn on the news or your favorite podcast. Instead, “allow your thoughts to flow and develop,” suggests Lori Robinett, writer and founder of WriteScout. “You’ll be surprised how energetic your own voice can be when it isn’t drowned out by louder voices.”

11. Peel oranges. We bet you didn’t see this one coming! We didn’t, either… but now that we understand why a little morning citrus can be a creativity lifesaver, we’re totally on board. According to Michael Perman — head of creativity for mindful innovation firm C’est What? and former head of creativity and innovation for Gap, Inc. — oranges stimulate many of your senses. “Their color, fragrance, texture, and flavor all excite your mind and awaken you to new possibilities,” Perman shares. Plus, you can eat them!

12. Ease into the day. Actress-turned-health-coach Carey Peters has a preferred set of early morning activities, but they aren’t her very first priority. “A morning habit won’t inspire creativity if it feels like another item on a never-ending to-do list,” cautions Peters, who co-founded the Health Coach Institute. “That’s why my first morning habit is to not put pressure on myself to have any habits for the first 90 minutes of the day.” The first thing she does after waking up? Gets in quality time with her daughter. When her daughter leaves for school, then it’s time for Peters to start her morning meditation and writing practices.

13. Try breathing exercises. Creative entrepreneur Casey Moran kicks off her day with visualization and intentional breathing. She starts by laying down and breathing normally, then begins paying closer attention to the sound of her own breath, her heartbeat, and her surroundings. As she hears the sounds of the room around her, she begins to visualize where they’re coming from. She then brings awareness back to her body and breathes increasingly deeper in a slow and controlled manner. “[This] allows your senses to become aware of yourself and your surroundings, which allows you to start your day mindfully,” Moran says. “The visualizing stimulates the creative part of the brain, as you are creating visuals from sounds. Finally, the breathing oxygenates the cells in your brain and body.”

14. Work out. As if you were looking for one more reason to get moving! International Academy of Wedding and Event Planning CEO Kylie Carlson gets her morning exercise in with anything from a bike ride to a gym sesh to a walk with her dog, but regardless of the specific method, she finds the mere act of movement to be critical to her daily routine. “The very act of doing something other than sitting at your desk working, combined with the endorphins firing through your body after a good workout, really sends your body into overdrive,” Carlson says. “Add a bit of sunshine into the mix, and there really is no telling what ideas will come spilling out of my head.”

15. Set your intentions. Music manager and Whitespace + Wellness founder Tiffany Napper wakes up 30 minutes earlier than necessary and uses the extra time to lay in bed and visualize the success she hopes to have throughout the day. Then, she writes down what she’s grateful for as if it’s already happened. Kicking off each day with the end of it in mind is a great way to be your own inspiration.

What part of your morning routine do you swear by? Tweet us @BritandCo!

(Photos via Getty)

Apart from the occasional 1,000 yellow daisies, doesn’t it feel like it’s perpetually autumn and winter in Stars Hollow? Not that we’re complaining — we’re totally here for budget-friendly trends and the winter movie lineup. This time of year always makes us want to binge-watch our ride-or-die mother/daughter duo, even if we don't get Gilmore Girls: A Year In The Life season 2. We all have our favorite episodes, favorite boyfriends, and favorite characters — which is why we thought it would be fun (and necessary, obvi) to match up the major Gilmore Girls characters to their zodiac counterparts. Go ahead, refill your coffee cup before you dig in. We’ll wait.

CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 22)

Image via Neil Jacobs/Netflix

Luke: Moody much? While you’re definitely not always as surly as Luke, Cancer, you do share his predilection toward unpredictable mood swings. It’s true — Luke has a tough outer shell just like you, and it takes a lot for him to make himself vulnerable to even his closest friends. You’re both sensitive souls with a nurturing streak a mile long. (How else could Luke take Jess back time and again?)

LEO (JULY 23-AUGUST 22)

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Ms. Patty: It’s your world, and we’re just living in it, Leo (er, and Ms. Patty). You’re a natural performer, and there’s no doubt Ms. Patty also knows how to own the stage. You’re both outgoing and creative with a flair for the dramatic, and we’re willing to wager you’d get along famously (while working hard to become famous, of course).

VIRGO (AUGUST 23-SEPTEMBER 22)

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Emily: We think Emily is probably the most misunderstood character in Gilmore Girls, which we’re sure is something any Virgo can relate to. You’re both perfectionists who know how to throw a killer dinner party, with every last detail thoughtfully curated. You’ve got no time for inefficiency, and while you’re super-sensitive to criticism yourself, you can sometimes be a little judgy of others. But you both more than make up for it with your dedication to working for causes you believe in.

LIBRA (SEPTEMBER 23-OCTOBER 22)

Image via The CW/The WB/Gilmore Girls' Facebook

Richard: When it comes to family drama, Richard reigns as the perpetual peacekeeper. From Emily and Lorelai’s constant struggle to understand one another to Rory’s infamous boat incident, Richard has that diplomatic Libra spirit to solve a crisis. You’re both even-keeled, thoughtful people who can see both sides of any story. The Gilmores would be beyond lucky to have you!

SCORPIO (OCTOBER 23-NOVEMBER 21)

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Jess: Within the Stars Hollow cosmos, there’s no one more intense than Jess — and the same goes for you, Scorpio. You’re both passionate, complex people who’ve come to appreciate your dark sides. Like you, Jess has incredible emotional depth that fuels a passionate heart. Plus, Jess’s mental/physical/emotional connection to Rory is exactly how you approach your own romantic relationships. Our lives would be so dull without you.

SAGITTARIUS (NOVEMBER 22-DECEMBER 21)

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Lane: With a healthy dose of naiveté that everything’s going to be okay, Lane somehow managed to make her less-than-ideal upbringing totally work for her in the end. It’s this same unflappable optimism that guides you through life, Sag. You and Lane are resilient women who thrive on figuring it out with a smile on your face. You also both have a tendency toward obsessing over things you love, whether it’s obscure ’80s punk records or baking the perfect soufflé.

CAPRICORN (DECEMBER 22-JANUARY 19)

Image via Neil Jacobs/Netflix

Paris: Honestly, can you think of anyone more Capricorn-y than Paris Gellar (except for you, of course)? Whether it’s her laser-like focus on future success or her incredible organizational capacities, Paris totally vibes with your serious commitment to reaching your goals (and constant need to prove yourself). You both crave stability in your life and loyalty from your friends and have put structures in place to ensure you get them, no matter where life takes you.

AQUARIUS (JANUARY 20-FEBRUARY 18)

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Lorelai: Emily may have underestimated Lorelai’s free spirit, but we know you totally have her ticket, Aquarius. Whether she’s raising a daughter on her own, going to graduate school, or starting a new business, Lorelai is forever independent, thinking outside the box to make her goals a reality. She’s also got a rebellious streak with an aversion to authority that sounds a lot like someone we both know. Plus, you’re both the kind of people who will say it like it is while still understanding that everyone walks their own path. Where you lead, we’ll totally follow.

PISCES (FEBRUARY 19-MARCH 20)

Image via Neil Jacobs/Netflix

Dean: Does anyone really know Dean? He’s got that poetic, head-in-the-clouds thing down pat, which sounds a lot like you, Pisces. You’re both dreamers who prefer poetry to playing sports and have a shared illusory quality that makes you a bit of a chameleon, transforming yourself based on your current circumstances. Remember when he just up and got married all of the sudden?! Who knew!

ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 19)

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Logan: Did you know the Life and Death Brigade’s motto, In Omnia Paratus, means “ready for anything”? Of course you did, Aries, because it’s your life’s motto as well. Just as Logan literally leaped into the unknown, you too know how to take major risks and somehow always make them pay off. You’re both independent, strong-willed, action-oriented people who prefer to live boldly, whether that means stealing a boat or running a newspaper (er, but we wouldn’t recommend the former).

TAURUS (APRIL 20-MAY 20)

Image via The CW/The WB/Gilmore Girls' Facebook

Sookie: If you could live outdoors, you would, Taurus, precisely the same way Sookie would live in Jackson’s garden if she could. You’re both super-grounded and delight in sensory experiences that connect you back to the earth. Obviously, Sookie is an amazing chef, and you’re known as being the top foodie among your friend group. Life is all about the earthly pleasures for both of you, and you find peace at home, surrounded by creature comforts (and lots of cake).

GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 20)

Image via Saeed Adyani/Netflix

Rory: You’re whip-smart with a mind that moves a mile a minute and an interest (and knowledge) in just about everything, Gemini — and that sounds a lot like our girl Rory. You’re both super-curious beings who derive genuine pleasure out of learning new things on the daily. If you could go to school forever, you’d be happy. And we’re pretty sure Rory would be sitting right beside you.

Does your favorite Gilmore Girls character fit with your zodiac sign match? Tweet us @BritandCo to let us know what you think!

Lead image via Neil Jacobs/Netflix

This post has been updated.

I'll admit out of the many teen dramas I've consumed, Outer Banks is one of the most ridiculous. But the insanity surrounding the plot is half the reason it's enjoyable! John B. wrestling an alligator with his bare hands? Kiara getting kidnapped then making a daring escape in her PJ's? John B. and Sarah getting married (kind of) by the power of "the sky, the stars, and the sea" after escaping the SBI?

Considering my favorite fan theory for the future is that Madelyn Cline's Sarah and Rudy Pankow's JJ learn they're secret siblings, I know the crazy train isn't slowing down anytime soon. I took to Reddit to find the wildest Outer Bankshot takes and I was not disappointed. Keep reading to see if you agree with any!

JJ and Kiara Never Should Have Happened

Image via Netflix

While JJ and Kiara is one of the most popular ships on the show, a lot of Outer Banks fans think the "no Pogue-on-Pogue macking" rule from the pilot should have stayed in effect. The individual romances between Kiara and JJ, John B., and Pope make the story really messy, and the fact the show writes Kiara to be with all three of them in the span of three years gives a lot of viewers the ick.

I'll be team #Jiara forever (and literally screamed when The Backseat Lovers' "Kilby Girl" started playing during the motorcycle ride in season 3), but I'll say it would incredibly compelling to see a friend group take care of each other as much as the Pogues do without ever crossing over into romantic territory. That's found family, after all!

Pope Should Have Ditched The Treasure Hunt

Image via Netflix

One Reddit user is convinced that "Pope should’ve focused on his future in school instead of giving everything up to search for treasure." And TBH, I totally agree.

In season 1, Pope has a breakthrough about the hidden treasure in the middle of his scholarship interview. He ditches the scholarship committee to tell the rest of the Pogues, throwing away a crazy educational opportunity. Pope beats himself up for it, and his parents definitely aren't pleased, but at least it meant he got to stay in the show instead of leaving for college, which leads me to...

Outer Banks Should Have Started With The Pogues In Their 20s

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As one of the only people alive who loves the post-time jump One Tree Hill, I would have loved to see OBX start off with the characters in their 20s (although it looks like that's where Outer Banks season 4 will pick up!). This would eliminate SO MANY problems from the jump because the Pogues wouldn't have to worry about missing school, they'd be more self-sufficient, and instead of being the same old high school drama, it could have provided a commentary on figuring out life in your 20s the same way Friends did.

Rafe Shouldn't Have Any Kind Of Redemption Arc In Outer Banks Season 4

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Drew Starkey the man that you are. According to one Reddit user, "Rafe should not have a love interest or a redemption arc" like we see in season 3. We spent all of season 1 and season 2 establishing that Rafe (played by Drew) would do anything it took to get what he wanted (including one successful murder and two other attempts?!). He shows next to no remorse for his actions, and exploring his literal psychopathic tendencies would take the show to a whole new level.

Big John Should Never Have Returned

Image via Netflix

John B.'s dad's disappearance is the catalyst for the Pogues' journey at the beginning of Outer Banks, and Big John's return means the story feels somewhat repetitive in the third season, and it undoes a lot of the growth we've seen from John B. Plus, Big John is just SO chaotic, selfish, and dramatic. If he had truly died in season 1, we could have seen John B. wrestle with that finality, and how to cope with loss in the face of finding the treasure and falling in love with Sarah.

And Finally, Outer Banks Should Have Ended After Season 1

Image via Netflix

Outer Banks season 1 was exactly what we needed at the height of the pandemic. It was escapist — both in terms of the beach vacation vibes, but also because the '00s aesthetic took us right back to simpler times — and it had such a wonderfully resolved finale that some fans think nothing has matched it.

Do you agree with any of these Outer Banks opinions? I'm such a romance fan, I don't know what I'd do if the show didn't have JJ and Kiara get together! Check out all the best New TV Shows coming this year for more.

Lead image via Netflix

Happiness is often something we think we'll gain down the road once we accomplish X, Y, and Z: a dream job, the perfect partner, a bigger salary, a bigger house. Yet things like fame, goods, success, and validation are the stuff of which the old conception of happiness was made. According to this way of thinking, once we reach one goal, it's time to set another one that will for sure make us happy... yet it never really does. Society has told us that achieving our own personal success will make us happy, but that’s actually a lie, says Stephanie Harrison, founder and creator of The New Happy.

Stephanie developed The New Happy philosophy during her graduate studies at the University of Pennsylvania, where she received a Master's degree in Applied Positive Psychology. What is The New Happy? It comes down to setting compassionate goals rather than self-image goals in which you are trying to win or maintain other people’s approval. We chatted with Stephanie about this new outlook on life that has garnered more than 400K fans of her colorful, data-driven IG.


Why does happiness seem out of reach for so many?

Stephanie: I was fascinated to discover that so many of our beliefs about happiness do not come from within, but from the world around us. These beliefs have a profound impact on our actions and perceptions.

At The New Happy, our philosophy sets up a paradigm distinguishing between ‘Old Happy,’ the definition of happiness that you have been taught by the world around you, and ‘New Happy,’ a new science-backed approach to happiness that not only helps you but helps the world.

I think one of the core problems is that many of us don’t even know that we have a definition of happiness, let alone what it is and how it is affecting us. If we have a completely unrealistic definition of happiness, as Old Happy does, then it will always feel out of reach. In Old Happy, happiness is always one achievement away – it’s always the next one that will finally make you good enough, and then you can stop, take a break, spend time with your loved ones, and be the person you want to be. Starting to notice this pattern in ourselves is a really important way to begin shifting our perspective.

How have we been misinformed about happiness? How is that harming people?

Stephanie: The core belief underpinning the Old Happy paradigm is that you are not good enough as you are, and to remedy this, you must go out and achieve something in the world to become worthy. This belief creates tremendous pain. Feeling like we are only conditionally worthy puts us in a state of constant self-evaluation, judging how we are doing and how close we are to ‘enough’ – an exhausting experience that persistently drains our joy and vitality.

When I look at our collective well-being challenges, like burnout and loneliness, I see Old Happy all over it. We need to broaden our conversation about well-being and happiness to include societal influences, many of which have gone unacknowledged. If we have been taught by our world that happiness comes from achieving more, and that is reinforced by all of our systems, then we will prioritize individual success, and de-prioritize those critically important paths to happiness, like our connections, nature, and helping those in our community and the world around us.

My argument is that there is a far better way to find happiness: through being of service to the world using your authentic gifts. This is what I call your New Happy. To be happy, you need to feel useful. There are so many problems in our world that need help: they need your brain, your heart, your hands, your energy, your voice. There are people who are suffering, and they need exactly what you have to offer. In doing that, you will not only be able to help make our world a better place, but when you are expressing yourself authentically, you will also find purpose, feel frequent joy, and cultivate a stable, lasting sense of well-being. This approach to happiness is underpinned by a sense of compassion for all, a recognition that we are all connected and we need to care for the collective to be happy as individuals. It’s also hopeful: I believe that if we come together, we have what it takes to create a world where every person can experience happiness, just as they deserve.

Can you share some data points that support the New Happy philosophy?

Stephanie: One of the research topics supporting our philosophy is the idea of quieting your ego. This is the process of seeking a sustainable balance between yourself and others that leads to positive growth for all. It is related to personal outcomes like self-esteem and resilience, but also to the actions that you take in the world. Having a quiet ego is strongly connected to setting compassionate goals, which are goals where you are trying to contribute to other people’s well-being. These are contrasted with self-image goals, where you are trying to win or maintain other people’s approval – Old Happy goals. While self-image goals are associated with a decrease in self-esteem and connection, compassionate goals are associated with an increase in self-esteem and connection.

Another important element of our philosophy is the recognition of our interconnectedness. I think it’s really beautiful that the research shows this: When we care for others, we experience personal benefits; when we care for ourselves, we are inspired to and supported in caring for others. Giving increases your own positive emotions, sense of connectedness to others, and sense of meaning. One recent study found that behaving in a more selfless way is associated with greater happiness.

Turning to the research on caring for yourself, we can see the benefits, too. Extending compassion toward yourself predicts a reduction in depression, anxiety and stress symptoms as well as an increase in well-being. One study found that practicing self-affirmation increases feelings of self-compassion, which in turn motivates giving behavior. Every time you care for yourself, you’re supporting your ability to be there for others; every time you care for others, you’re also caring for yourself. It’s all connected.

Are there people who are just born happier, or can you learn to be happier?

Stephanie: There’s some debate about this, but many scholars believe that we have a general ‘happiness set-point,’ which is your base natural level of natural happiness. It is helpful to think of it more like a range, where you can boost yourself up to the top of it based on your daily actions. What you do does matter.

Happiness can be thought of as more than just the emotion that you feel when things go right. It’s about living a happy life, an existence that is aligned with who you are and what matters most to you.

One powerful reframe here is thinking of happiness not as an outcome, which is an Old Happy perspective, but as an action. When you are living your life, being authentically yourself and sharing that self in a way that has a positive benefit upon others, you experience happiness as a byproduct.

What are ways in which we can experience more joy in our lives?

Stephanie: Creating joy in our lives is such a priority. It is an emotion that not only benefits our own well-being, but also contributes to our relationships, our capacity to help and support others, and our resilience. Here are a few strategies.

First, help someone around you. There’s a reason that being of service is at the heart of our philosophy! There are so many studies that show the power of giving: It not only affects our happiness but impacts our physical health, too. It can positively impact your blood pressure, reduce your stress, and even extend your longevity. Do something small right now: Send someone a thank you text, let a loved one know how special they are to you, do a random act of kindness, share your expertise with someone, donate or advocate for a cause that needs you, engage in a warm conversation with a stranger, ask someone how they are doing and really listen. In the longer term, think about how you can use your gifts – the authentic actions that bring you joy – and offer them up to contribute to the world’s collective happiness.

Second, slow down, and look for something beautiful in the world around you. We miss a lot of the good, important stuff because we’re so focused on what we need to do. Decide you are going to look for the good: a wonderful quality in a loved one, something in nature, a moment of kindness. Once you see it, allow yourself to savor it and really soak it in. If you can, tell someone else about it to leverage the additional benefits of social connection. When you share with someone, you are able to extend the moment of goodness beyond the event itself, a ripple effect of joy that touches you and your relationship in a meaningful way.

Third, get outside into the world if it’s accessible for you. Our feelings of loneliness and disconnection are likely to increase when we are stuck inside our homes, as so many of us have been. One study found that spending just twenty minutes in nature lowers cortisol, your stress hormone, up to 20 percent! Nature is also the most reliable place to experience a sense of awe, which can inspire giving and compassionate behavior.

Finally, make joy a shared pursuit. Decide with your family or roommates or friends that you are going to consciously ‘joy-ify’ a regular activity, like making dinner, doing chores, or a regular routine. Ask yourselves, what would make me feel more connected to this activity, this moment, or the people we are sharing it with? There are so many creative ways you might do this. In one of our New Happy Challenges where we taught the skill of joy, participants came up with all sorts of wonderful ideas, including cooking recipes from around the world, doing an end-of-workday dance party, and sharing a moment of gratitude as a family at the end of every day.


How can we support our friends when they're feeling down?

Stephanie: As a society, we’re not very comfortable with pain, suffering, grief, and the difficulties of being a human. There’s so much pressure to appear happy and like you have it all together. No one has it all together, and everyone is going through something, and I think that collectively pretending that this isn’t true is very harmful for all of us.

If someone trusts you enough to open up to you about their pain, this is a powerful opportunity to nurture your connection, share micro-moments of love, and support them. I developed an acronym to help you to be there in these moments: FANAL, which is an old word for a lighthouse or beacon. I love this metaphor because it gives us an idea for how we can be for others: firmly grounded within ourselves, sharing a light that shines upon them and guides them to a safe, secure place.

Here’s how to use it:

  • F: Focus on the person. Give them your full attention and make this moment about them.
  • A: Ask how they are feeling. If they brush you aside or give a standard answer, you might need to gently ask a second time or in a different way to make it clear you really want to know how they are.
  • N: Notice their suffering. Many of us are afraid to look at pain, as though it is embarrassing or contagious. This leaves the person in pain feeling so lonely. Try to really see them and their pain.
  • A: Acknowledge their experience. This pain might be the most palpable thing in their lives right now. Honor that reality. Don’t deny it or try to change their perception of it. Tell them that you see what they are going through, and how painful it is.
  • L: Listen. Just keep listening, asking more questions to invite them to keep sharing. Stay with them until they are ready to change the topic.

This practice will help you to be there for them in a compassionate way.

Thanks Stephanie! You can follow the New Happy @newhappyconewhappyco.

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Main photo by Jakob Owens onUnsplash

This post has been updated from a previous story.

Mariska Hargitay is the woman of the hour anywhere she goes, with her iconic Law & Order: SVUrole as Olivia Benson under her belt for the last 25 years. The character is an absolute advocate to women — and assault victims of any gender — through her words, actions, and powerful convictions of each perpetrator on the show. She takes great care with her victims and pursues perpetrators with fervor, and slowly as you watch the show..the line blurs between Olivia and Mariska.

This isn't anything new — just recently Mariska literally stopped production on the show to help a child (who mistook her for an actual police officer) find her mom. It's just who Mariska is. She walks the walk and talks the talk — including during her speech at Variety's Power of Women's Power of Women event.

Image via NBC Universal

As a Power of Women honoree, Mariska was recognized in regards to her work as an advocate for sexual assault survivors. She took the stage and used her platform to discuss rape and assault conviction reversals, shining a light on the recent overturned ruling in Harvey Weinstein's landmark NYC case. Here's what she said:

Today I want to talk about reversing convictions, and more specifically I want to talk to you about how impossible it is to reverse mine. It’s impossible to reverse my conviction that survivors matter. It is impossible to reverse my conviction that what happens to us matters, and that our society must respond to survivors with a more a compassionate, holistically, deeper, and more nuanced understanding of what healing means.

It is impossible to reverse my conviction that after a trauma, survivors can reclaim lives of hope, of possibility, of audacious risk, beautiful intimacy, and glorious, glorious abundant joy. And I stand before you as evidence of that statement.

It is impossible to reverse my conviction that we must listen to survivors as experts on what justice means. It is extraordinary how little their voices are consulted, let alone incorporated, in the process of deciding how to repair harm. Justice is not a one-size-fits-all journey.

It is impossible to reverse my conviction that patriarchal impunity has to end. Patriarchal impunity is when a male-dominated system exempts perpetrators from punishment. Studies show that only 20% of all rape cases in the U.S. are reported to the police, and that between 5 and 0% of all rapes result in a guilty plea or a conviction. So why do 80% of victims not report? Because they're met with a system that grants impunity to perpetrators; a system that blames victims; a system that accepts only those victims who are experienced as "real" rape; a system that completely misunderstands the neurobiology of trauma, which causes behavior in women that doesn't fit the picture of how a "real victim" would act.

Is that change needed that victims should just pull themselves together? Just buck up and report anyway? No. No, it's the system that receives them that needs to change

It is impossible to reverse my conviction — and the conviction of my extraordinary team, The Joyful Heart — that the backlog of untested rape kits can be brought to zero; that the testing of all new kits must be mandated; that we need a statewide kit tracking system; and that survivors have the right to access the status of their kits.

It is impossible to reverse my conviction that grammar — yes, grammar — that we use when we speak about rape must change. In the sentence, "A woman is raped," there's a crime and there's a victim, but there's no perpetrator. Where's the perpetrator? Where is he? Statistically, as we know, most likely he's walking free. He's so free that he doesn't even appear in the language about the crime that he committed. Is that not extraordinary? It's extraordinary that in the very grammar, the perpetrator goes free. Reintroducing perpetrators in the language of rape will make some very unwieldy grammar, but that's the nature of change. It's unwieldy, it's messy, it's uncomfortable, but it's necessary.

Image via NBC Universal

Hargitay continued on in her prolific speech to describe that rape shouldn't be considered a "crime of passion" because it's "not simply the next step in the trajectory of his passion" when a man takes a consensual hookup too far and assaults a woman against her will. She stated that it's "an exercise of power," doubling down that the language we use is important.

The speech went on to address that rape is both about power and control, as a "construct" that was "built, and assembled, and reinforced over time." She noted that there are people with these positions of power — and she specifically called out those in the entertainment industry — that could make a difference and aligned themselves to victims and survivors.

After this and some other remarks, Hargitay specifically called out the Weinstein conviction reversal. She said:

I do want to say something about the Harvey Weinstein conviction, specifically about the reason that it was overturned: too many women's voices. Too many women's voices were allowed to speak. Hallelujah! Amen! I can't imagine anything more beautiful than that. The Daily podcast episode talked about how it was so risky for the prosecution to have that many women testify. Risky to let women speak? You're damn right it is!

Too many women speaking brings change. Too many women speaking shakes the establishment. Too many women means we get listened to more, and people might actually hear what we have to say. Look what happened when women started saying just two words, right? Me too — just as an example — a tidal wave of change. Me too.

And then of course, there was the response: the Me Too Movement. The backlash. The examination of whether the changes that have come are lasting, or are even positive. Of course there's a backlash! What did they expect? For women to speak repeatedly, loudly, together, with a purpose — for there to be no backlash? The backlash is evidence of how powerful those voices were, how powerful those voices ARE.

Watch Mariska Hargitay's Full Speech Here

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Mariska Hargitay's Gets Emotional as She Thanks Her Support System and the Women Around Her

Turns out that your TV heroes really can be your IRL heroes after all. Long live Olivia Benson! Long live Mariska Hargitay!

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After Emily in Paris season 3 dropped on Netflix in December of 2022, we were hoping to get the fourth installment of the hit show in 2023. But production halted when the WGA writers' strike, then the SAG-AFTRA actors' strike went to affect, and our beloved cast and crew campaigned for better wages and industry protection. But with the end of the writers' strike, and new SAG negotiations, Emily in Paris season 4 finally began production in February 2024 — and I can already tell you there's sure to be plenty of drama and French fashion this time around.

Not only will we see Emily in Paris (see what I did there?!) but she's also pulling an Audrey Hepburn and taking a little Roman Holiday. That's right — our favorite Parisians are heading to Italy! If that doesn't sound like a dreamy comfort show then I don't know what does. Here's everything we know about the upcoming season of your favorite TV brain candy!!

Is Emily in Paris season 4 coming soon?

Image via Lily Collins/Instagram

Via Variety, Emily in Paris season 4 began production in Paris the week of January 15! "Did someone say Saison Quatre?!" Lily Collins says in her Instagram post announcing production. "Finally reunited with my @emilyinparis fam back in Paris and it feels so good. Although, I may need to brush up on my selfie skills for Emily’s sake…"

Now the wait is over! According to the official announcementfor Emily in Paris, we know part one drops on Netflix August 15, followed by part 2 on September 12. I've been impatiently waiting for this considering we didn't know how filming would be impacted by things like the WGA writers strike!

Is Emily in Paris filmed in Paris?

Image via Lily Collins/Instagram

Yes, Emily in Paris is filmed on location in Paris! We got our first look at Emily in Paris season 4 when Lily Collins and Ashley Park were seen filming in the City of Love (via Daily Mail). The costumes for the series are still as bold and bright as ever, with Ashley's Mindy wearing cobalt and metallic boots, and Lily's Emily dressed head-to-toe in lemon yellow. I can't wait to see what these best friends get up to this season! Check out our Paris travel recommendations to live out your own Emily in Paris dreams ;).

On April 27, Lily Collins confirmed Emily in Paris season 4 had wrapped its France shoot and that the cast & crew have swapped the City of Love for the Eternal City! "When you’re the first ones on the dance floor at the Paris wrap party. Next stop: Rome!" she says on Instagram. Late spring is literally the perfect time to film in Italy and I just know this season is going to give me more wanderlust than ever before. I need gelato!

What's Emily In Paris season 4 about?

Image via Netflix

Season 3 left us with a huge cliffhanger: Alfie breaks up with Emily, Camille learns she's pregnant with Gabriel's baby, Benoit's "Mon Soleil" has been chosen for the Eurovision Song Contest, and Emily and Gabriel realize they've been in love with each other the whole time. Whew.

Emily in Paris season 4 will have a ton of cliffhangers to bring full circle, and a bunch of damage that all the characters need to heal. We know from the Netflix TUDUM fan event that we might also see Emily have to deal with an ultimatum head-on, as well as an unexpected twist. Plus, it looks like she's heading on a "Roman holiday," according to lead actress Lily Collins. We'll take any nod to an Audrey Hepburn movie, please and thank you!

Is Alfie coming back in season 4 of Emily in Paris?

Image via Netflix

We don't have OFFICIAL word on whether Alfie (played by Lucien Laviscount) will return for Emily in Paris season 4, but we're hoping for his sake that he gets some closure. Lucien wants to come back as well! "[The dream is] to keep this gravy train going and just to kind of really live in this world a little bit longer," he says in an interview with Elle. " The writers on the show and the creators behind it and everyone that comes into contact with it is so amazing and fantastic. Their minds [have] way, way, way, way surpassed mine. So, yeah. I’ll let them do their thing.”

Who else is in the Emily in Paris season 4 cast?

Image via Netflix

We can expect the rest of the cast — Lily Collins as Emily, Lucas Bravo as Gabriel, Ashley Park as Mindy, Camille Razat as Camille, Philippine Leroy-Beaulieu as Sylvie, Samuel Arnold as Julian, and Bruno Gouery as Luc — to return.

Will there be a season 5 of Emily in Paris?

Image via Marie Etchegoyen/Netflix

It looks like Emily in Paris season 4 will not be the final season, according to creator Darren Star. “There’s a lot more story to tell here and we’re not wrapping things up anytime soon,” Star tells Elle. “And also hopefully season four isn’t the end either. I feel like we’re all creatively feeling like we’re in the middle of something not heading towards the end.”

Darren also told Deadline season 4 is "not necessarily conceived as a final chapter. I think like every other show, it’s a rich ensemble. There’s no end in sight until everybody feels like it’s time to end. And I don’t think this show is limited by a number of seasons, I think it’s limited by everybody’s enthusiasm and excitement about doing it and telling stories about these characters."

We'll take as many seasons of Emily in Paris as they'll give us!!

What has the cast said about Emily in Paris season 4?

Image via Marie Etchegoyen/Netflix

Lucas Bravo told People he's excited for a coming-of-age for Gabriel. "When you start a character, then there's a year where you experience the world and you mature, you become another person and you come back and it's exactly the day you left off," he says. "I'm happy that in season four I'll be able to bring more of what I became and what I've experienced in the past four years."

Even though Lily Collins is now an executive producer, she doesn't want to know TOO much about the future of the show. “Darren and I speak, on occasion, about where he’s thinking of going, but he also doesn’t wanna spoil too much for me because there is a fine line,” she tells Collider. “I don’t wanna know everything because I want to be led with the writing, but I am also curious because, as a producer wanting to celebrate the other characters, I’m very curious to see what their trajectories are."

What happened at the end of Emily in Paris season 3?

Image via Netflix

To be fully prepared for Emily in Paris season 4, it's important to remember just what happened during season 3! The junior season was a bumpy ride for Emily, and it ends with the craziest finale yet. After Camille and Gabriel decide to get married, Camille stops the wedding, saying she knows Gabriel is in love with Emily instead of her. This declaration leads Alfie to break up with our leading lady because he refuses to be her second choice (and honestly, I respect it). That's not the only shocker because Camille also reveals that she's pregnant with Gabriel's child, which comes as a surprise to everyone. Meanwhile, Mindy learns Benoit has submitted a song (specifically "Mon Soleil") to the Eurovision Song Contest and Laurent has his heart set on opening a club in Paris.

Are you excited for Emily in Paris Season 4? Give us your craziest theory in the comments, and check out our Facebook for more pop culture news. Read up on how This Emily In Paris Theory Could Be Why Emily And Gabriel Aren’t Together (Yet).

Lead image via Netflix.

This post has been updated.